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Funny story: 'Ban the birds' cry Central Park advocates

'Ban the birds' cry Central Park advocates

New York -- Now that the carriage horses are on the run, activists are taking aim on another group of animals that need to be rescued from Central Park. A study by the nonexistent grassroots group Animal Advocates has found that the privacy right...
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Funny story: Dog-Cat Species Change Now a Reality

Dog-Cat Species Change Now a Reality

San Francisco (STT News) 'Rover', a 2-year-old mixed breed dog in the small village of Twangings, Califonia, will soon be the first canine to undergo species surgery to become a cat. The owner recently won a lawsuit that allows animals to be what the...
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Funny story: Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Following the botched execution of death row inmate Clayton Lockett, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin announced that she will support legislation extending the Humane Slaughter Act, which has previously applied only to farm animals, to human prisoners.
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Funny story: Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

In a groundbreaking and highly controversial decision, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled to expand the applicability of the Humane Slaughter Act, designed to decrease the suffering of livestock during slaughter, to also encompass the human slaughter o...
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Funny story: Animal Rights Group Wants The Amish To Stop Using The Horse and Buggy As A Means of Transportation

Animal Rights Group Wants The Amish To Stop Using The Horse and Buggy As A Means of Transportation

NORFOLK, Virginia - The animal rights group known as PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has just announced its latest statement. Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter has sent a message to the Amish community stating...
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Funny story: Still Hypnotized Woman Falls Off Chicken Truck

Still Hypnotized Woman Falls Off Chicken Truck

Abigail Smithers of Washington County, Arkansas apparently will recover from several broken ribs, broken right leg, three toes on the right foot and a fresh-laid dog turd tangled up in her hair after falling off a chicken truck headed for a Purdue Fa...
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Funny story: Factory-Farming Advocacy Group Struggles With Name Messaging: "Killing Over Compassion" Shot Down in Polls

Factory-Farming Advocacy Group Struggles With Name Messaging: "Killing Over Compassion" Shot Down in Polls

A newly launched non-profit organization established to advocate on behalf of animal farmers and confined animal feeding operations (CAFOs) encountered a bit of glitch in its inception: what to call itself that wouldn't immediately turn off consumers...
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Funny story: Russian women win right to watch bear-baiting

Russian women win right to watch bear-baiting

After a series of protests, ladies in Russia are finally allowed to watch bear-baiting competitions. It is seen as a breakthrough for women's rights in the country. A spokesman for feminist protest group FemBear, Maria Tittichenko said while weari...
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Funny story: Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis Promote Animal Cruelty to Protect Religious "Rights"

Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis Promote Animal Cruelty to Protect Religious "Rights"

Chabbad-linked Rabbi Yirmiyahu Menachem Cohen, head of the rabbinical court in Paris, wrote a letter to Israeli Minister of Agriculture Yair Shamir, in which he stated that legislation in Israel to ban the import of the delicacy fois gras, the fatted...
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Funny story: Chimp's 'legal personhood' lawsuit a major threat to simians like George Dubya Bush

Chimp's 'legal personhood' lawsuit a major threat to simians like George Dubya Bush

New York - Lawyers acting for the 'Chimperor' ex-President of the United States are mounting a legal challenge to an animal frights charity lawsuit that's demanding constitutional parity for a New York chimp. Hairy Apes Anonymous is petitioning a...
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Funny story: Animal Rights Advocates Outraged Over Beaver Grooming Prank

Animal Rights Advocates Outraged Over Beaver Grooming Prank

Oregon - Animal rights advocates in the state of Oregon are outraged after a recent discovery in the Wilderness areas of their state. Ostensibly a group of hikers, during an expedition spotted an entire colony of SHAVED BEAVERS! "It's sickening.
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Funny story: PETA Vows To Make Research Clinics Stop Forcing Hamsters To Smoke Marijuana

PETA Vows To Make Research Clinics Stop Forcing Hamsters To Smoke Marijuana

NORFOLK, Virginia - The largest animal rights group in the United States has vowed to stop several animal research clinics from mistreating hamsters. Mimosa Ledbetter the executive director has said that she sent undercover operatives who infiltra...
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Funny story: Zoo Keeper Caught Spanking The Monkey

Zoo Keeper Caught Spanking The Monkey

OMAHA, NE - A zookeeper in Omaha, NE was recently placed on indefinite work suspension due to disciplinary measures he was caught taking with primate residents at a local zoo. "I felt that bobo, in particular, was being selfish, hoarding food, and...
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Funny story: Man In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat

Man In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat

The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just becaus...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga Has Angered An Animal Rights Group

Lady Gaga Has Angered An Animal Rights Group

NEW YORK CITY - Lately it seems that Lady Gaga has been sharing the entertainment news front pages with Lindsay Lohan, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga recently performed before a sold-out crowd at The Voodoo Arena in New Orleans. Reports ar...
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Funny story: Tibetan Wild Yak an Endangered Species

Tibetan Wild Yak an Endangered Species

Washington DC: PETA representatives met with Obama administration officials on behalf of Tibetan animal rights activists who feel the Tibetan wild yak is an endangered species. There are only 1,000 Tibetan wild yaks remaining in the high altitude...
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Funny story: Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...
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Funny story: US Animal Rights Organizations Membership in Decline

US Animal Rights Organizations Membership in Decline

Washington DC: The US Department of Labor announced that the number of animal rights activists residing in the 48 contiguous states has steadily declined by 50% between 2009 and 2012. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) launched a probe int...
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Breaking News...

Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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