Lake Austin, Texas - "Andy just has too many balls up in the air right now," a PR for the Andy Roddick Foundation revealed, "to sweat it out in a cramped commentators' box for two whole weeks alongside shock-jocks Boris Becker, John McEnroe and Tim H...
LOS ANGELES - Brooklyn Decker is one of the most gorgeous women to ever model a swimsuit. She appeared on the cover of last year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
Decker has also graced the covers of The Victoria's Secret Swimsuit Edition, The...
HAWAII - One of the sexiest women to ever dip her dainty little toes in the waters off of Hawaii is the stunningly sexy Ohio girl, Brooklyn Decker.
The 23-year-old beauty graced this years cover of Sports Illustrated, along with the covers of othe...
Wimbledon - (X-Files Mess): Is the appearance of the Barbury Hill Phoenix crop circle a supernatural omen behind Andy 'Men-With-Balls' Roddick's momentous resurrection from grand slam obscurity?
The world number six seed has shot back into the lim...
Kenya - In an attempt to exercise the bad spirits of his worst year in tennis since he turned 20, Roger Federer has visited a remote village in Kenya. There he sought out the advice of a tribal witch Dr. nicknamed "Mongo".
According to local sourc...
The coach of the men's national table tennis team, Teodor Gheorghe, has announced that star tennis players James Blake and Andy Roddick will be partnering for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Blake and Roddick will be suiting up as doubles partners for...
Tampax, Florida - (Ass Mess): World tennis No 6 seed Andy Roddick has stunned friend and family alike by announcing his engagement to topless bikini model Hooklyn Dicker (sic).
Flushing Meadows - (Grand Slam Mess): US Tennis number three seed Andy Roddick hit back at Australian Men's Open slurs that he has become a 'sub-prime liability' to his financial sponsors American Excess.
Switzerland - In a rare interview from Roger Federer's home in Switzerland, the world Number 1 tennis player has an interesting proposition to the rest of the world's ATP players. "I'm sick of winning so easily," said Roger, &qu...
Roger Federer has made it to the semi-finals of the US Open, overcoming Andy Roddick in straight sets, despite running out of rackets midway through the second set in what can only be described as an extraordinary night at Flushing Toilets.
Flushing Meadows - (Ass Mess): Bookmakers are going crazy offering odds of 1-5 on number one seed Roger Federrer wiping the floor with Andy Roddick in Wednesday's quarter-finals of the US Open at Flushing Meadows.
New York, NY - In a last ditch effort to help Andy Roddick improve his game, Jimmy Connors was today shrunk to microscopic size and implanted in Andy's head. He will spend most of his time in the lens of Roddick's right eye, with a wireless m...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Ron Paul, Vickie Carr, Andy Roddick, & Paris Hilton had a foursome today. They all played tennis at Wimbledon as a fund raiser for the Ron Paul for President 2008 campaign.
Just hours after losing a close semi-final in Indianapolis, Andy Roddick announced his latest coaching change.
Today U.S. Open Officials at Flushing Meadows announced that this year the U.S. Open Tennis Championships will revert to traditional grass. Standing amid piles of concrete and asphalt Andy Roddick came to protest in person, but was too late.
Andy Murray will definitely play at Wimbledon, and stands as good a chance of winning the Men's Singles title as anyone else, says his coach.
London - (Ass Mess): Internet spread betting index Aintgottaprayer.com has told punters that betting on Andy Roddick to break his duck and finally win the Men's Championship at Wimbledon this year is like wagering on George Bush's ratings to...
Queens Club, London - (Ass Mess): A livid Andy Roddick threatened hellfire damnation lawsuits at anybody repeating the story that George W Bush is his blood father.
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