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Funny satire stories about Andy Carroll

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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 21st July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 21st July 2012

Manchester United, Manchester City and Juventus confirm bids for Robin Van Persie from Arsenal. Leaving Wenger enough cash to sign another Frenchman... Birmingham supporter Rob Shannon has not missed one of his team's matches for 38 years, seeing the Blues play 1,800 consecutive games since 1974. And he only missed one that year because he was too ill to get out of bed. 1,800 consecutive...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Ledley King has announced his retirement from the top flight game after injuries stopped him from training between games. He will continue to turn out for Tottenham Hotspur. Stuart Pearce done a u-turn on a previous statement he made, saying he wanted the Players aged 23 and under in the Euro 2012 squad available for Team GB Olympic Football squad. Well at least someone wants Andy Carroll...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 17th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 17th July 2012

Liverpool striker Andy Carroll, 23, has told his representatives to secure him a return to Newcastle. (from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle) But the Reds will seek to recoup at least £20m from the sale of Carroll this summer, a valuation that will sorely test Newcastle's aspirations to re-sign the England striker (The Guardian) I can imagine the conversation now - Liverpool: "We want £20 mi...
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Funny story:  Sir Alex Ferguson hands Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, a lifeline as his personal bodyguard!

Sir Alex Ferguson hands Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, a lifeline as his personal bodyguard!

Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, received a surprise telephone call from Sir Alex Ferguson today and Andy initially hoped he would be joining Man Utd on a loan deal. But Sir Alex had another function in mind for Andy because football transfers between...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 11th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 11th July 2012

Harry Redknapp and Fabio Capello are on the 13 man shortlist for the Russia job. A 13 man short-list? I'd hate to see a Russian long list. Or is a Russian long-list the players names? Redknapp has however ruled himself for the job. Shame - I was looking forward to using the headline 'From Taxing Trouble to Russian Roubles' Andy Carroll is considering a loan deal to AC Milan, after rumours...
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Funny story:  'Carroll is the new Torres' say Fashion Experts

'Carroll is the new Torres' say Fashion Experts

Fashion experts were today proclaiming the Andy Carroll haircut as the new Fernando Torres. Speaking at Wembley Fashion Weekend - where Carroll showcased his trademark ponytail haircut by connecting his head to a football and putting it into the...
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Funny story:  Transfer Window: Arsene Wenger swoops in for Carrol as tactical signing

Transfer Window: Arsene Wenger swoops in for Carrol as tactical signing

Arsene Wenger has long opposed the transfer window and refused to sign players in the January, but has gone back on the statement after a recent mathematical blunder in the home defeat to Manchester United and swooped in for former Countdown brainbo...
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Funny story:  City Moneybags Mancini Targets Andy Carroll, Ashley Young and Ashley Cole

City Moneybags Mancini Targets Andy Carroll, Ashley Young and Ashley Cole

Manchester United fan, Yosser Vardon, breathed a sigh of relief today after examining the hard drive of a laptop 'borrowed' off the front seat of a parked-up Lamborghini. Talking to journalists in the exclusive car park of Manchester's Midland Hot...
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Funny story:  No Liverpool Debut For Carroll

No Liverpool Debut For Carroll

Record Liverpool signing Andy Carroll will not be considered for the upcoming fixture with West Ham on Saturday. Interim manager Kenny Dalglish told the press that "although he's almost back to full training, Andy's not quite ready to make his deb...
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Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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