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Next Pope will be elected through an X-Factor style show

Funny story: Next Pope will be elected through an X-Factor style show

Andrew Lloyd Webber has been approached by the Vatican to put together a television show that will let the Catholic Church elect a new Pontiff through the popular television format pioneered by shows such as the X-Factor and America's Got Talented Ki...

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Andrew Lloyd Webber will pen the opening ceremony for 2012 Olympics

Funny story: Andrew Lloyd Webber will pen the opening ceremony for 2012 Olympics

The British Olympic Committee has approached Andrew Lloyd Webber to produce the choreography for the London 2012 Olympics. "He is the perfect choreographer," said Seb Coe, who is inexplicably in charge of the whole thing. "He typifies British Big...

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Am A Drama Ding Dong! As Cuts Bite Deep At The BBC

Funny story: Am A Drama Ding Dong! As Cuts Bite Deep At The BBC

The cuts are biting harder and deeper and nowhere is it being felt more acutely than at that bastion of British broadcasting, The BBC. Budgets have been trimmed back so much that the corporation is having to plumb even further depths to get show t...

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Andrew Lloyd-Webber unable to ever have sex again - writing new musical on subject

Funny story: Andrew Lloyd-Webber unable to ever have sex again - writing new musical on subject

Andew Lloyd-Webber is open about the fact that he can never have sex again. This is a side effect of having received treatment for prostate cancer. Many people cannot have sex for a variety of reasons but don't go shouting it off rooftops. Many a...

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Readers Problems Answered

Funny story: Readers Problems Answered

DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE! DON'T BOTTLE IT UP! LET IT ALL OUT! "Readers Problems Answered" Is Here To Help With This Week's Guest Editor: Radical Poetic Innovator and Author of The Waste Land T S ELIOT T S Eliot didn't bottle it all up! He let it all out! Had he been a bottler-up, the world might never have seen The Dry Salvages or Ash Wednesday or Sweeney Agonistes (There's a lot to...

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Today's Sarah Montague dumped

Funny story: Today's Sarah Montague dumped

Lord Lloyd Webber has cancelled the new production of My Fair Lady staring Sarah Montague which had been in production for two months. A spokesman for his company said that Ms. Montague was having trouble with her elocution. 'She was fine on the c...

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Afghanistan War Logs: The Musical

Funny story: Afghanistan War Logs: The Musical

Andrew Lloyd Weber, whose smash hit, Phantom of the Opera, continues to set records on the world's stages, has agreed to compose the musical score for The New York Times best-seller, Afghanistan War Logs. "The material is great," said Weber. "Plus th...

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Lloyd Webber treated for being ugly

Funny story: Lloyd Webber treated for being ugly

Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, 61, has been diagnosed with being ugly, it has been disclosed. His spokesman said in a statement that the condition was currently in its very ugly stages. "Andrew is now undergoing a facelift and expects a young g...

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UK Eurovision Entry Lyrics Must Change

Funny story: UK Eurovision Entry Lyrics Must Change

The United Kingdom entry for the Eurovision Song Contest has been rejected unless the lyrics are changed. It comes in the wake of Georgia being faced with the same issue when their lyrics were deemed to contain political content that was offensive t...

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Andrew Lloyd Webber To Pen Eurovision Song Contest 2009 Entry

Funny story: Andrew Lloyd Webber To Pen Eurovision Song Contest 2009 Entry

Andrew Lloyd Webber, that creepy-looking bloke on the telly, has revealed that he is to write the UK entry for the Eurovision Song Contest, and is to help select someone to sing it from the millions of ordinary, unwashed, talentless individuals curre...

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Andrew Lloyd Webber Disses Charles Dickens

Musical composer Andrew Lloyd Webber has ended up in hot water again after remarks made in a recent BBC interview. Talking about his most recent BBC showcase in which cheap labour was scouted and cast for his presentation of the classic Lionel Ba...

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Antichrist of the Opera?

Funny story: Antichrist of the Opera?

In a move that will shock fans and foes alike, the shock rocker Marilyn Manson is to star as the leading role in Andrew Lloyd Webber's popular musical 'The Phantom of the Opera' it was confirmed yesterday at a press conference in London. Manson (R...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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