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Cartouche

Funny story: Cartouche

Cartouche, ancient Egyptian for "cartoon," is an oval comic strip panel that came into use during ancient Egypt's Fourth Dynasty, under the rule of Pharaoh Sneferu. Most cartouches are displayed horizontally on the stone tablets in which they were engraved. (Paper, other than papyrus, did not exist at the time, because ancient Egyptians were a "primitive society" without sophisticated technolog...

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Erotic art

Erotic art is an excuse, in the form of sketches, paintings, sculptures, and other media, to show naked people, many of whom are depicted as engaging in "erotic" (a codeword for sexual) activities. Although some people try to distinguish between erotic art and pornography, no argument for such a distinction has ever been generally accepted, and most people agree that one person's erotic art is ano...

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Rolling Stones perform in Paris without wheelchairs!

Funny story: Rolling Stones perform in Paris without wheelchairs!

The Rolling Stones have given a private gig in Paris and managed to get on stage without their zimmerframes and wheelchairs; "an amazing sight," many fans declared. Keith Richards, who was given a blood transfusion of pigs blood before the gig, ev...

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Ancient Civilization Accurately Predicts When Their Calendar Will End

Funny story: Ancient Civilization Accurately Predicts When Their Calendar Will End

MEXICO CITY-People around the world are now saying "Mayan who?" as it appears that the ancient civilization known as the Mixtec have miraculously foretold the exact time and day when their calendar will come to an end. The Mixtec, who originated...

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Obamicus's Empire Suffers a Setback

Funny story: Obamicus's Empire Suffers a Setback

Rome: Emperor Obamicus's foreign and domestic policies, particularly his handling of a recession and high unemployment have left Roman citizens seeing red across the empire. Public concern is about foreign wars, invasion, political infighting, corrup...

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Athens and Sparta History to be Revised

Funny story: Athens and Sparta History to be Revised

Athens GR: Subway construction in Greece's capitol city has unearthed an amphora containing a historical description written by Moussaka, a historian of the period 490 BC to 431 BC. There is new information about the relations between the Greek-city...

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Latest Stonehenge revelation: Neolithic man used goal-line technology

Funny story: Latest Stonehenge revelation: Neolithic man used goal-line technology

A recent historical excavation of Stonehenge has shocked the sports world by proving footballers of the Neolithic period employed goal-line technology. It is the latest exciting development regarding the prehistoric megalith, following on from las...

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Rare Roman helmet found in dump of "The Stig"

Funny story: Rare Roman helmet found in dump of "The Stig"

A metal detector enthusiast in Cumbria has discovered a rare Roman bronze helmet complete with face-mask, believed to belong to an ancient charioteer who would have been the historical equivalent of our modern day "The Stig" The helmet would have...

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Art Experts Victims Of Petra Hoax

Funny story: Art Experts Victims Of Petra Hoax

Art experts were left red-faced yesterday after it emerged they had been the victims of an elaborate hoax. Boffins from London's prestigious Courtauld Institute had spent three years cleaning up what they assumed were 2,000-year-old wall paintings...

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Roman Emperors/Gods thank "Loony" Sassenachs for illuminating Hadrians wall as the Scots prepared for an attack!

Funny story: Roman Emperors/Gods thank "Loony" Sassenachs for illuminating Hadrians wall as the Scots prepared for an attack!

The celebrations on Hadrians Wall have caused quite a stir as the Scottish Home Army didn't know what the fuck was happening while a bunch of "Loony" Sassenachs started illuminating the wall. They thought it was a "Sassenach Attack" and sounded th...

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Doctors Confirm King Tut Is Dead

Funny story: Doctors Confirm King Tut Is Dead

King Tut is dead! At last the official news we have all been waiting for. Doctors have been working round the sundial to see if they could find any vital signs. Sadly, as we have all suspected, the doctors have now confirmed that he is in fact dead.

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Famous ancient Rockers are giving prisoners in "UK Slammers" guitar lessons!

Funny story: Famous ancient Rockers are giving prisoners in "UK Slammers" guitar lessons!

Ancient rock legends from the Clash, Billy Bragg, Status Quo, etc, want to give prisoners locked up in "UK Slammers" guitar lessons instead of them practising "gay sex lessons!" Leading prison psychiatrists feel this would ease tensions between pr...

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Congressman Bacchus introduces new health care legislation

Funny story: Congressman Bacchus introduces new health care legislation

After months of behind-the-scenes negotiation, Congressman Bacchus (I-Rome) unveiled a massive health care bill. The CBO reports that the bill could cost the government almost 50,000 denarii, although Bacchus himself puts the estimate at closer to 60...

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Kirstie Alley, Oprah Winfrey to lift Earth using giant lever

Funny story: Kirstie Alley, Oprah Winfrey to lift Earth using giant lever

SYRACUSE, SICILY- Sometimes extreme situations call for drastic measures. With human activity gradually warming the planet, threatening the survival of our species, Kirstie Alley and Oprah Winfrey will reportedly move the Earth into an orbit slightl...

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Fossilized Farts Found In Egypt

Funny story: Fossilized Farts Found In Egypt

Dateline Cairo, Egypt - A storeroom housing about three dozen ancient Egyptian fossilized farts have been unearthed inside a 3,000-year-old tomb during the latest round of excavations at the vast necropolis of Mimfft, twenty one miles south of Cairo,...

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Ceasar admits he is still alive

Funny story: Ceasar admits he is still alive

The Roman Emperor Julius Ceasar gave a press conference to finally answer rumours that he is still alive. Speaking in front of the world's media and several legions of the Roman Guardia Civil the Emperor said that there had been a slight confusio...

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3500 Year Old Egyptian Tomb Reveals a Strange Inscription

Funny story: 3500 Year Old Egyptian Tomb Reveals a Strange Inscription

Cairo Egypt: An archeological expedition to Egypt's Valley of the Kings has reported finding a strange inscription inside the innermost burial chamber of a 3500 year old Pyramid. The inscription @*$! #%* was written on a wall. Dr. Jones the head...

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CERN computers hacked by disciples of Prometheus

Athens, Greece - Apparently angry that man has mastered fire to the point of recreating the Big Bang, Prometheus, known as the father of mankind in Greek mythology for giving man the gift of fire, ordered a crew of Greek computer hackers to break int...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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