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Funny story: UK Visa Advice for American Tourists

UK Visa Advice for American Tourists

Before embarking upon a UK holiday, here are a few things you should know about the Brits and their language differences. This knowledge may save you considerable embarrassment if you learn it well. MONEY: The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as "goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say, "I'd love to come to the pub but I aven't got any goolies." "Quid...
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Funny story: Recently Discharged Marines Torch Quebec City

Recently Discharged Marines Torch Quebec City

Montreal, Canada- A group of 25 recently discharged American Marines did not intend to burn down the city of Quebec when they signed up for a bus tour of the city. "We'd heard it was cool and the chicks there were totally hot in spring time," said...
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Funny story: Bigot Parents Are Having Yet Another Baby

Bigot Parents Are Having Yet Another Baby

Chepenseki, TENN.-- Local morons , Roy and Teri Rosheen, have had yet another child. According to local sources, the couple plans on naming the creation something "unique" like "Unique" or "Randy". The precious and soon to be dimwitted child is t...
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Funny story: Naked man declares North Carolina law is a farce

Naked man declares North Carolina law is a farce

Americans living in Charolotte, North Carolina are calling officials to change the law to make it illegal for a man to stand bare skinned in his doorway. It's being reported that the man has been standing like that for the past 10 years inside hi...
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Funny story: 12 out of 10 Americans Don't Believe in Statistics

12 out of 10 Americans Don't Believe in Statistics

ATLANTA, GA - According to a recent poll completed by The Atlanta Constipation, 12 out of 10 Americans don't believe in statistics. Some of the other interesting numbers in the poll: 68% of US citizens support child vaccines while 86% are oppos...
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Funny story: TLC Audience Shoould be Lobotomized - Would Elevate America says Research

TLC Audience Shoould be Lobotomized - Would Elevate America says Research

The Center for Cultural Analysis in Berne, Switzerland has today released research which suggests that the United States of America could rise to "a new era of greatness" were the entire viewing audience of TLC were to be lobotomised. The channel,...
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Funny story: Excuses That Marine Tahmooressi Should Try on His Captors in Mexican Jail

Excuses That Marine Tahmooressi Should Try on His Captors in Mexican Jail

Mexico - U.S. Marine Andrew Tahmooressi is still being held in a Mexican jail after making a wrong turn and ending up south of the border with three firearms in his vehicle. The following is some advice the marine might use to explain the mishap and,...
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Funny story: Americans Ignore Warnings; Continue to "Go There"

Americans Ignore Warnings; Continue to "Go There"

After a few decades of notices, we as a nation still have far to many people who "go there" after being told not to. During the 1980s and 90s world leaders like Oprah and many others made it almost their personal crusade to stop us from going...
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Funny story: Secretary Hagel proposes US military presence in all 196 countries of the globe

Secretary Hagel proposes US military presence in all 196 countries of the globe

In another strong indication of the Obama administration's grasp of what's needed to defend US interests--plus maintaining consistency with Bush administration policies--Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel is fearful of the American public turning towar...
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Funny story: American Father Slashes Adopted Son's Pocket Money For Taking Neighbour's Garden!

American Father Slashes Adopted Son's Pocket Money For Taking Neighbour's Garden!

An American Father has slashed his adopted son's pocket money until he stops moving their fence further and further into their new next-door neighbour's garden. Last week Zak moved the fence to take back a small worthless section of land that's ow...
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Funny story: Despite Missing Jet Story, Most Americans Still Can't Find Malaysia On A Map

Despite Missing Jet Story, Most Americans Still Can't Find Malaysia On A Map

Bumblephuck, U.S. (FoxNews) - Despite the deluge of media coverage on the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370, most Americans still can't find Malaysia on a map of the world. Studies conducted over many years before the jet went missi...
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Funny story: Curling Perplexes American Viewers

Curling Perplexes American Viewers

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Curling, the shuffleboard-like game on ice that is so popular in Canada and Scotland, may be the most perplexing Olympic sport to American viewers. For one thing, it is televised in the early morning hours when most Americans are asl...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan: Robertson Family Bunch of Redneck Freaks

Lindsay Lohan: Robertson Family Bunch of Redneck Freaks

Lindsay Lohan told what reporters who still hang around her that she thought Duck Dynasty was the worst show she had ever seen. Those at the scene stated that she laughed and called them Hillbillies. "What is this a joke? Television ratings so...
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Funny story: The American Irrespective: President Obama's Good News, Bad News, and/or Worser News Regarding NBA Team Nicknames and Other Assorted In The Paint/To The Hoop Whatnot - Part 1

The American Irrespective: President Obama's Good News, Bad News, and/or Worser News Regarding NBA Team Nicknames and Other Assorted In The Paint/To The Hoop Whatnot - Part 1

Sure, I suppose there's probably more for me to do around here than hang around the Oval Office all the live long day and well into each and every night, doing whatever I can to keep on keepin' on steering our nation even further into a more worthwhile direction that hopefully not only suits our present needs, but, more importantly, sets in now and forever forward motion a systematic readjustment...
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Funny story: New Theme Restaurant Trying New Spin on Old Themes in 2014

New Theme Restaurant Trying New Spin on Old Themes in 2014

A new restaurant is trying out a cutting edge theme. The restaurant will be called "Leftover Bliss Diner". "We are a restaurant attempting to capture 2014 nostalgia, for a restaurant in the late 80's that captured the nostalgia of a 1950's restau...
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Funny story: Vampire arrested for sparkling

Vampire arrested for sparkling

Forks, WA. Outrage broke out in the parking lot of Forks Middle School, 121 Spartan Ave, when a manic traffic jam ensued after classes today due to the result of obstructive sparkling by newly appointed biology teacher Edward Cullen. Parents arriv...
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Funny story: NSA Director - "We Stopped Over a Thousand Terrorist Attacks"

NSA Director - "We Stopped Over a Thousand Terrorist Attacks"

WASHINGTON DC - NSA director Keith Alexander defended the NSA practice of recording all Americans' phone calls, tracking their locations by cellphone GPS, copying emails, and downloading web browser site visits and IP statistics with backdoor access...
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Funny story: Mayo Clinic Poll: Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

Mayo Clinic Poll: Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

A new poll released by Mayo Clinic this morning reveals that thirty-seven percent of the adult US population has Shit for Brains! In an unprecedented move Fox News and MSNBC News are claiming that the poll is biased, provocative, and blasphemous. The...
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L.A.P.D Weighs in on Jenner's Transformation

"Bruce Jenner drove like a prick," said a police spokesman. " Caitlyn drives like a cunt. Any questions?"
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