Funny satire stories about American education

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Funny story: Teacher Fails Student

Teacher Fails Student

Dayvon Terrell of Detroit, Michigan, was recently failed by his third grade teacher, Mrs. Deborah Leigh. "Unfortunately, Davyon did not meet the standardized reading comprehension benchmark," Ms. Leigh explained. "He simply can't move on to fou...
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Funny story: Math Teachers Everywhere Admit Math is Useless, Propose Additional Funding for the Arts

Math Teachers Everywhere Admit Math is Useless, Propose Additional Funding for the Arts

LEXINGTON, KY - Public school students everywhere may be getting a surprise soon. For many years, students have told their math teachers that math is useless, and will never be used in the real world. In 2014, teachers have decided they've he...
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Funny story: The Art of the Rat Race

The Art of the Rat Race

"Andale! Andale! Arriba! It's a rat race out there as any parent of the sharp elbowed middle classes will tell you over a bottle of shoplifted, Waitrose Chardonnay. And consequently, traditionally, that sharp elbow has always ensured their children, or "child protégés" as their parents refer to them, are exclusively hot housed in the public school & university education system to be the mo...
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Funny story: Editorial: Playing TAG Banned?

Editorial: Playing TAG Banned?

Normally, I try to just stick to writing satire. I saw this story online and couldn't make anything up after reading it, other than my own reaction. The story vexed me so much it stifled my creativity, so here's what came of it. I recently ran across an article with the headline Elementary school outlaws playing tag, 'running in packs' The gist of the story was that some kindergarten teach...
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Funny story: Textlish accepted in Schools

Textlish accepted in Schools

After years of fighting it, teachers nationwide are now accepting Textlish as a legitimate writing style. Skipping articles like "the" and "an" and spelling phonetically is improper English but it's fine in Textlish. Now high schools and even middle...
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Funny story: New Bumper Stickers For Our Brainwashed Times.

New Bumper Stickers For Our Brainwashed Times.

For years we have heard the mantra that 'If you can read this, thank a teacher" thrown at us from bumper stickers and signs everywhere. Of course the school system will surely not broadcast so loudly their failings- the brainwash, the intimidation, the browbeating, the systematization of everything possible. If they ever did, here is what these bumper stickers would look like: If you are so rob...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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