Brian Mahoney, 8th grader at Phillipson elementary school in Phillipson Pa. has been failing or nearly failing Math for 6 consecutive quarters leading to China's overwhelming economic superiority.
"I just really suck at math" Brian stated i...
To a packed gathering of invited newspaper journalists at the Press Room of the White House, President Obama has announced sweeping reforms of the U.S. education system.
The speech was greeted by rapturous applause,... except for one man whom security had to bundle from the hall for swearing obscenities about "lies!", "damned hypocrisy!", and "fascist mind control!".
Here is the speech in fu...
Associated Press --The following is an article entitled, "Nothing Wrong With Patriotic Education."
"The United States, which advocates democracy and freedom, lays stronger emphasis on patriotic education. A survey conducted in 18 developed countri...
Dayvon Terrell of Detroit, Michigan, was recently failed by his third grade teacher, Mrs. Deborah Leigh.
"Unfortunately, Davyon did not meet the standardized reading comprehension benchmark," Ms. Leigh explained.
"He simply can't move on to fou...
LEXINGTON, KY - Public school students everywhere may be getting a surprise soon. For many years, students have told their math teachers that math is useless, and will never be used in the real world.
In 2014, teachers have decided they've he...
"Andale! Andale! Arriba! It's a rat race out there as any parent of the sharp elbowed middle classes will tell you over a bottle of shoplifted, Waitrose Chardonnay. And consequently, traditionally, that sharp elbow has always ensured their children, or "child protégés" as their parents refer to them, are exclusively hot housed in the public school & university education system to be the mo...
Normally, I try to just stick to writing satire. I saw this story online and couldn't make anything up after reading it, other than my own reaction. The story vexed me so much it stifled my creativity, so here's what came of it.
I recently ran across an article with the headline Elementary school outlaws playing tag, 'running in packs'
The gist of the story was that some kindergarten teach...
After years of fighting it, teachers nationwide are now accepting Textlish as a legitimate writing style. Skipping articles like "the" and "an" and spelling phonetically is improper English but it's fine in Textlish. Now high schools and even middle...
For years we have heard the mantra that 'If you can read this, thank a teacher" thrown at us from bumper stickers and signs everywhere. Of course the school system will surely not broadcast so loudly their failings- the brainwash, the intimidation, the browbeating, the systematization of everything possible. If they ever did, here is what these bumper stickers would look like:
If you are so rob...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
United States Stupidity Quotient
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