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Funny story: US Lottery Winner Chops Off Finger

US Lottery Winner Chops Off Finger

One Sunday morning in Spring, David O'Malley interior decorator living alone in a run-down apartment in New York woke from a royal Irish hangover and set about reviving himself. Long since divorced from a childless marriage he had been living alone for over twenty years in bondage to a life of routine hard graft, restless sleep and the ritual weekend binges with his work mates in The Black Sham...
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Funny story: Extremely racist old man planning to run for U.S. president in 2016

Extremely racist old man planning to run for U.S. president in 2016

Ah, yes. Elections. The only thing more American than that is a morbidly obese 40 year old drunk man carrying an assault rifle; yelling at immigrants. Boy, we really let our forefathers down. Around 65 people are potential candidates for presiden...
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Funny story: Obama Tackles Fluoridation

Obama Tackles Fluoridation

President Barack Obama is considering acting against the fluoridation of drinking water in the US. Almost seventy percent of the nation's household water supply is currently fluoridated despite the mounting evidence that it is actually injurious to h...
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Funny story: President Obama To Smite Terrorists And Bill O'Really With Golf Clubs

President Obama To Smite Terrorists And Bill O'Really With Golf Clubs

In response to mounting criticism both at home and abroad President Obama told White House staffers this morning that he fully intends to do a full Samuel L Jackson on terrorism 'in any shape or form, any place in the world' - including Faux News's B...
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Funny story: God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

Last night, the whole of Europe was brought to a standstill when, exactly at midnight, a white-haired, bearded figure appeared on every television set on the continent. Crowds poured out of pubs and restaurants, many of them hysterical; public transport came to a halt as millions gathered in city squares and churches. The Pope appealed for calm; but nobody was listening to him. The followi...
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Funny story: The Best Dream He Ever Had

The Best Dream He Ever Had

On reflection, he was more than happy that he had lived to experience such an event, however unreal it may have appeared at the time. He could see it all clearly now. Gazing up at the stars that seemed suddenly close and friendly he could not help but replay the scene over and over in his mind. To a stunned and packed Senate gathering President Barack Obama got slowly to his feet to announce th...
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Funny story: Gun nut says White Americans (only) Should Own Artillery

Gun nut says White Americans (only) Should Own Artillery

Gun nut, racist, xenophobe, homophobe and staunch NRA supporter Clem Snout made an emotionally charged speech today on the state of "his" America. Well that's just a bunch of liberal crapola what them Jews and fags and darkies say about too many guns! The more firepower in the hands of white Americans the better - and I mean even kinda weirdy WHITE Americans! -- If a few folks get nailed alo...
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Funny story: Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

To a packed gathering of invited newspaper journalists at the Press Room of the White House, President Obama has announced sweeping reforms of the U.S. education system. The speech was greeted by rapturous applause,... except for one man whom security had to bundle from the hall for swearing obscenities about "lies!", "damned hypocrisy!", and "fascist mind control!". Here is the speech in fu...
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Funny story: Jeb Bush to Run for President of the U.S.

Jeb Bush to Run for President of the U.S.

To Jeb Bush, brother of George. W. Bush on his announcement to stand for the presidency of the U.S., numerous greetings and best wishes have been flooding in. Well-wishers include Halliburton, Citibank, Chase Bank, World Bank, Barclay's Bank, the...
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Funny story: U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

With the advent of a new bill that has mysteriously made its way through Congress to become law, the U.S. government has, to many minds, permanently dissolved itself and binned its own constitution for keeps. The Bill, hastily presented and passe...
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Funny story: Pope Denounces Euthanasia

Pope Denounces Euthanasia

POPE FRANCIS denounced the "Right to Die Movement" on Saturday 14th November 2014, saying that Euthanasia is a "sin against God and creation". We talked to their Foreign Affairs Director at the Holy See, Jesuit Bishop Alphonse de Mason. "The V...
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Funny story: New Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records

New Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records

A new James Bond film is set to break all box office records. Called "Never Live Again Unless Once More Over The Eight" it sets out to give Bond a human face: Explained producer Erin Broccoli with his writer-director son Benjamin; "Well, we figured i...
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Funny story: Giant Luffa Still Terrorizing Nation's Dreams

Giant Luffa Still Terrorizing Nation's Dreams

"Just do it, Johnny," cringed out the stuffed and mangled school teacher to her student after being absorbed and becoming one with the giant luffa raining havoc across the American landscape. "Bullet to the brain. Quick and easy. Give it to me no-,"...
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Funny story: ALS Teen Relives Ice Bucket Challenge Everyday When He Slips In Shower

ALS Teen Relives Ice Bucket Challenge Everyday When He Slips In Shower

After decades of not giving a shit, the American public has finally decided to pretend to care about the crippling disease ALS by pouring icy-cold water over their faces. While most can easily wipe off their wet grins, ALS stricken teen Oliver Perry...
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Funny story: President Obama refuses to cut short his holiday over new controversial Taylor Swift music video

President Obama refuses to cut short his holiday over new controversial Taylor Swift music video

President Obama declined to cut his holiday in Jamaica short today due to the controversy surrounding Taylor Swifts new music video. Her video for the pop single "Shake it off" has caused controversy throughout the vlogosphere (real word) due to the...
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Funny story: 'Sky Not Blue' According to US Congress

'Sky Not Blue' According to US Congress

WASHINGTON - Amid national and international crises, the US House of Representatives could not confirm the color of the sky. House Resolution 461, called for Congress to declare that the sky is blue. The resolution was proposed by Representative...
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Funny story: Whatever Happened to Paddy Freeman?

Whatever Happened to Paddy Freeman?

Patrick Freeman has gone missing. The amateur inventor from a little village in the South of Ireland claimed on his Facebook page that he had invented a car that could run on tap water. It required, he said, only a rechargeable battery and its en...
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Funny story: Fabrication; The American Way

Fabrication; The American Way

Did you know that America is on the wrong path? Republicans and Democrats force-feed agendas with one-sided talking points and mean-spirited drivel. Politicians today can't seem to walk past a live camera without delivering an absurd fabrication meant to injure the other Party. Hillary Clinton wore goggles at Wellesley, and purchased a shoe collection from Imelda Marcos on Ebay. Did you know Je...
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Breaking News...

Fat Albert Disassociates Himself from Bill Cosby

Most people thought I was just a character made up by Bill Cosby, or maybe just one of his multiple personalities, but I'm real and I'm tired of Cosby telling me I have to remain fat "for my image!"
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