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Funny satire stories about Altrincham

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Vegetarians call for a Bacon Ban

Funny story: Vegetarians call for a Bacon Ban

Vegetarians based in Altrincham, Cheshire, have asked for a complete ban on bacon following the alarming news that more vegetarians have fallen off the wagon due to thinly sliced meat than for any other reason. "It's the smell of cooking bacon," s...

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Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

Funny story: Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

The contract for building another runway in London has been won by budget airline Queasy Jet. They have decided that Altrincham, some two hundred miles away near Manchester, is the perfect location. "On the scale of things," said Queasy Jet chairm...

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Vampires employed as Traffic Wardens

Funny story: Vampires employed as Traffic Wardens

Several councils across the UK have taken to employing vampires as traffic wardens after a successful trial period in Altrincham, Cheshire. "Wampires make wery good traffic vardens," said Altrincham's councillor, Vlad Le Impaler. "They vork tventy...

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Stalybridge Celtic decide not to risk promotion

Funny story: Stalybridge Celtic decide not to risk promotion

Stalybridge Celtic of the Conference North have examined their finances and decided that promotion would be financial suicide. "We said to Jim Harvey, the manager, to get us promoted in three years," said chairman Rob Gorski. "The bugger nearly di...

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Altrincham accused of manipulating League Golden Boot

Funny story: Altrincham accused of manipulating League Golden Boot

Altrincham Football Club who ply their trade in the Conference North, two promotions away from the football league, have been discovered attempting to manipulate the Golden Boot to ensure at least one trophy goes to Altrincham this season. "Basica...

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Derek Acorah visits Altrincham

Funny story: Derek Acorah visits Altrincham

Derek Acorah, the mighty oak of a celebrity psychic that blossomed from the tiny acorn of a Liverpudlian medium, arrived in Altrincham, Cheshire, today, hot on the heels of the news that listed Altrincham as the countries biggest ghost town. His o...

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