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General Election Red Herring: Piers Morgan Wins Alex Salmond Nationalism Award

Piers Morgan is not only one of the UK's most lovable and highly respected journalists; he has now been given an award from Alex Salmond for his sterling contributions to the Scottish Nationalist cause. Salmond groans: "Personally, when I say...

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Boris Johnson unveils plans for removing the north south divide

Funny story: Boris Johnson unveils plans for removing the north south divide

Boris Johnson has announced that if he is becomes leader of the Conservative Party, his first act will be to solve the North South Divide. "This is a terrible situation," said Johnson. "People in the North rarely get a chance to wash, work down pi...

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Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Funny story: Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Stopping short of total surrender, the treaty signed by pro Scottish Independence clan chiefs after the referendum defeat included a clause dealing with the decommissioning of bagpipes and the handing over of them to dangerous musical instrument dum...

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Is MI6 Punishing Scotland With "Weather Bombs"?

Funny story: Is MI6 Punishing Scotland With "Weather Bombs"?

U.K. James Bond centre, MI6 was alleged by conspiracy theorists this morning to be behind a jetstream propelled "Weather Bomb" hitting the West of Scotland today. An ex Q department scientist, Dennis Llewellyn-Dyson told our Unlikely Conspiracy Depa...

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Andy Murray Crowns Himself New SNP Leader

Funny story: Andy Murray Crowns Himself New SNP Leader

Still riding high off the aftermath of his #indyref tweet, Andy Murray has voted himself in as the new SNP leader, despite having left Scotland nearly a decade ago. With the old leader Alex Salmond mysteriously missing from the party, speculation...

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Freed Abu Qatada shaves off beard, vows to replace Alex Salmond as head of Scottish Nationalists

Funny story: Freed Abu Qatada shaves off beard, vows to replace Alex Salmond as head of Scottish Nationalists

Amman, Jordan - Radical hate-spreading preacher Abu Qatada walked from court a free man today following a Not Guilty verdict in the 'Millenium Plot' trial. Prosecutors had claimed he sought to plant improvised explosive devices - IEDs - in a Jorda...

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Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Funny story: Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish £5 £10 and £50 notes no longer required after the failed Independence bid may be handed in or posted to banks for free exchange for real money, a spokesperson for the Exchequer said this morning. The notes, notoriously difficult to purch...

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Windfall Tax On Scots After They Are Tricked Into Revealing Scotland's Assets

Funny story: Windfall Tax On Scots After They Are Tricked Into Revealing Scotland's Assets

Chancellor Georgie MacOsbourne was today jubilant after accountants totted up Scotland's declared wealth. An immediate windfall tax has been approved of £100 per year per Scottish person. The normally canny and some say downright mean Scottish peo...

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Queen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike

Despite carrying letters of safe conduct and passage to England, former Scottish first minister Alex Salmond was handed over to English soldiers at Robroyston near Glasgow late Friday night and has been transported to London on the orders of Queen El...

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Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...

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Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...

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Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

Funny story: Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

The offer of $40Bn to turn Scotland into a MacDisney Theme Park with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip as "fairy tale" Queen and King will not be accepted, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the "What to do with Scotland" pa...

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Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

Funny story: Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...

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Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

Funny story: Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

A projection by industry body Biscuits UK that 24bn boxes of shortbread can be extracted from the North Sea is "plausible", two academics have said. The projection has been used by the Scottish government as part of its campaign for independence.Last...

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Scottish Independence Live Debate - Jeremy Kylie Opens DNA Test Results

Funny story: Scottish Independence Live Debate - Jeremy Kylie Opens DNA Test Results

Scotland's Independence campaign took a new twist last night on a live head to head between Alexei Salmon and Jeremy Kylie. During the show Kylie opened an envelope with the results of a voluntary D.N.A test to establish whether Salmon was a love...

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Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Funny story: Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Mr Salmond found the time out of his busy schedule to speak to ace Spoof reporter FBI AL over questions he is messing with 'The Union' purely to get his name in the history books. "Well of course it's nothing to do with me getting my name in lights or in the history books as the man who tried or succeeded in making Scotland an independent nation," said Salmond, "and in no way am I laying the gr...

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Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

Funny story: Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

After a tough week in which critics and supporters both agreed that he hadn't fared well in the first live television debate, Alex Salmond has decided to go for the youth vote, promising that never again will Scotland have to listen to the Top 40 wh...

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Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

Funny story: Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

The first televised debate between Scottish nationalist Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling happened this week. The two debated whether Scotland should leave the United Kingdom, however many Scottish viewers had expressed their disappointment that Sal...

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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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