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Funny satire stories about Alex Salmond

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Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...
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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...
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Funny story: Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

Scottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland

The offer of $40Bn to turn Scotland into a MacDisney Theme Park with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip as "fairy tale" Queen and King will not be accepted, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the "What to do with Scotland" pa...
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Funny story: Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...
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Funny story: Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

A projection by industry body Biscuits UK that 24bn boxes of shortbread can be extracted from the North Sea is "plausible", two academics have said. The projection has been used by the Scottish government as part of its campaign for independence.Last...
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Funny story: Scottish Independence Live Debate - Jeremy Kylie Opens DNA Test Results

Scottish Independence Live Debate - Jeremy Kylie Opens DNA Test Results

Scotland's Independence campaign took a new twist last night on a live head to head between Alexei Salmon and Jeremy Kylie. During the show Kylie opened an envelope with the results of a voluntary D.N.A test to establish whether Salmon was a love...
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Funny story: Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Mr Salmond found the time out of his busy schedule to speak to ace Spoof reporter FBI AL over questions he is messing with 'The Union' purely to get his name in the history books. "Well of course it's nothing to do with me getting my name in lights or in the history books as the man who tried or succeeded in making Scotland an independent nation," said Salmond, "and in no way am I laying the gr...
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Funny story: Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

After a tough week in which critics and supporters both agreed that he hadn't fared well in the first live television debate, Alex Salmond has decided to go for the youth vote, promising that never again will Scotland have to listen to the Top 40 wh...
View 'Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness'
Funny story: Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

The first televised debate between Scottish nationalist Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling happened this week. The two debated whether Scotland should leave the United Kingdom, however many Scottish viewers had expressed their disappointment that Sal...
View 'Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate'
Funny story: Duke Of Edinburgh To Be Privatised

Duke Of Edinburgh To Be Privatised

Up to three Dukes of Edinburgh will be operated by the private sector to cope with the increase in Diplomatic duties in any new Independent Scotland. it was announced by the Palace this morning. However, the process by which this might happen is not...
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Funny story: Britain on the move

Britain on the move

England is to detach Scotland from it's seabed if voters choose in favour of independence at upcoming referendum. The plans which had been crudely scrawled on the back of a No.10 embossed napkin surfaced upon twitter this morning. They outline th...
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Funny story: Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin

H.R.H. Prince Charles of Wales, tired of waiting to be a Welsh King has sent his LinkedIn C.V. to Alexei Salmon, who Charles thinks may soon be looking for a King if Scotland becomes free. The C.V. is known to point out that Charles, although not bl...
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Funny story: Welsh Independence Referendum Imminent After Feeling Miffed about Attention Given to Scottish Independence

Welsh Independence Referendum Imminent After Feeling Miffed about Attention Given to Scottish Independence

Welsh Nationalist Politicians are sulking and not looking at Sky and BBC News because Alex Salmond is now "Mr. Big Pants", according to the Newspaper, CumruCwyddfyddarcfarchnidd Evening Tribune. A spokesperson in hiding at Rhyll Eisteddfodd told...
View 'Welsh Independence Referendum Imminent After Feeling Miffed about Attention Given to Scottish Independence'
Funny story: Warning of Unexpected Mr. Kipling Effects if Scots Independence Comes Into Force

Warning of Unexpected Mr. Kipling Effects if Scots Independence Comes Into Force

Scottish Independence will have an impact on the world's supply of shortbread, a former confectioner has warned in a stark comment on the Referendum debate. Belgian bakers would "cheer loudest" and "the forces of dark confectionery would simply l...
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Funny story: Loch Ness Monster "Wrong Size" for new E. U. Regulations

Loch Ness Monster "Wrong Size" for new E. U. Regulations

New E.U. Lake Monster regulations taking effect from referendum day 18th September may mean Loch Ness will have to be drained and the monster shortened by 2 metres to bring it in line with 22 other European Lake Monsters, a spokesperson from Brussels...
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Funny story: Independent Scotland Makeover

Independent Scotland Makeover

Independent image consultancy firm, Koch Wan has published the results of its investigation into the acceptable image for a new Scotland. Out with: Scotch eggs, stodgy pies, haggis, whisky, kilts, drunken Glaswegians sleeping in cardboard boxes, k...
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Funny story: Search Continues for Missing Scotland

Search Continues for Missing Scotland

High winds and strong seas are hampering the search for Scotland, which disappeared two weeks ago. Only when Alex Salmond Rushdie, the first minister tried to return home after a garden party at Buckingham Palace did the government notice it was no...
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Funny story: Pledge to Make Whiskey Taste Nice if Scots Win Independence Vote

Pledge to Make Whiskey Taste Nice if Scots Win Independence Vote

A pledge has been made by Jacobite, Alexei Salmon to make Scotch Whiskey palatable if he is crowned King of Scotland after the Independence vote. Scotland's nasty National beverage which was once used to induce vomiting after cases of poisoning wi...
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Bill Clinton: U. S. can't win ground war vs. Iraq

Bill Clinton insists the U. S. armed forces cannot win a land war against Iraq "or any other country, no matter how many booties are on the ground, because there are too many gays in the military."

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