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Funny satire stories about Aleister Crowley

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Germany summons Egyptian ambassador to protest against Druids

Funny story: Germany summons Egyptian ambassador to protest against Druids

Berlin - It's all because some sort of German stinktank was one of the human frights groups whose HQ got torched last week. Locals in Baddassburg described today how the Cairo branch of Druids Anonymous had claimed responsibility following a bad a...

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Necromancer Aleister Crowley and Queen Mother behind six mysterious Tutankhamun deaths

Funny story: Necromancer Aleister Crowley and Queen Mother behind six mysterious Tutankhamun deaths

The reviled satanist and his favourite muse are top suspects in the unexplained London deaths of six men connected to the 1923 opening of the pharaoh's burial chamber in Luxor by Howard Carter. New research published this week details how a total...

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Dial 666 - Speak Of The Devil

Funny story: Dial 666 - Speak Of The Devil

Satan, the Prince of Darkness, is to set up a call centre in Gainsborough, the call centre capital of England. "It's the logical place," said Aleister Crowley, spokesman for Hell Incorporated. "Gainsborough is already Hell on Earth, so there are p...

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Pope to beatify his turncoat grandpa Cardinal Newman

Funny story: Pope to beatify his turncoat grandpa Cardinal Newman

Birmingham - (Holy Shit! Mess): The notorious C of E turncoat and father of satanist Aleister Crowley John is to be beatified by his Hellfire grandson this weekend. A full-bling smoke 'n' mirrors ceremony at Hellfire Club HQ will see Pope Joe Rat...

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Ratzinger is Aleister Crowley's son say DNA experts

Funny story: Ratzinger is Aleister Crowley's son say DNA experts

London - (Diabolical Mess): Is the Pope hiding behind a privacy super-injunction to gag genetic results about his real Pa? Scientists at the National Poisons Unit reckon the Vatican 'has moved heaven and earth' to destroy DNA specimens proving nec...

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Secret Vatican moves to buy Aleister Crowley's Sicilian love nest

Funny story: Secret Vatican moves to buy Aleister Crowley's Sicilian love nest

Palermo, Sicily - (Beastly News): Located at 666 Via Dolorosa, Cefalu, the whitewashed villa is notorious for having hosted the 1920 wedding of the Queen Mother and Pope Pius XII - then Archbishop Eugenio Pacelli. The occult initiatrix and her ec...

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National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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