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Rotten Broccoli Movie Review

Funny story: Rotten Broccoli Movie Review

Terrible summer blockbuster 'The End' is due to hit cinema's this week and critics are already panning the film with respected popcorn cruncher Roger Ebert describing it as 'just three hours of credits', albeit the most thrill inducing, stomach churning, tear jerking, laugh out loud three hours of credits ever. German director Uwe Schmitz retorted that 'yes it is three hours of rolling credits, bu...

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Letters To The Editor About The Birds And The Bees, Treasure Island, Hedges, Ming The Merciless & "Phones Hake-ing"

Funny story: Letters To The Editor About The Birds And The Bees, Treasure Island, Hedges, Ming The Merciless & "Phones Hake-ing"

Dear Sir, I live in the countryside (I hope to move into a house soon) and I feel I must put pen to paper (not that I have a pen, or any paper, but you must humour my whim I fear). Now I am lost for words. It's all the brackets. That's what stymied me with the algh, the aljibrae, the algiebrar, the maths at school. I got bewildered by brackets. I always reckoned when I wrote my arto, orto, a...

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Alan Titchmarsh in Grassington's Reality TV Contest

Dig this, gardening expert Alan Titchmarsh has been recruited as the top celebrity to take part in Channel 4's Reality TV contest 'The Village' in Wharfedale. "Looking round Grassington, I've noticed that some of the residents need a bit of a rake...

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Readers Problems Answered

Funny story: Readers Problems Answered

DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE! DON'T BOTTLE IT UP! LET IT ALL OUT! "Readers Problems Answered" Is Here To Help With This Week's Guest Editor: Radical Poetic Innovator and Author of The Waste Land T S ELIOT T S Eliot didn't bottle it all up! He let it all out! Had he been a bottler-up, the world might never have seen The Dry Salvages or Ash Wednesday or Sweeney Agonistes (There's a lot to...

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Katie Price Finally Hits The Big Time - The Alan Titchmarsh Show!

Funny story: Katie Price Finally Hits The Big Time - The Alan Titchmarsh Show!

Breaking news: Katie Price has finally arrived! The uber breasted former topless model and pissed up party tramp has really hit the big time with a guest appearance on The Alan Titchmarsh Show. Alongside Christine Hamilton, who once made a drunken...

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Lily Allen Climbs Everest

Petite but curvy, feisty and formerly naughty in a wasted middle-class way pop singer Lily Allen has cemented the evolution of her image by becoming the latest unlikely figure to climb Mount Everest yesterday, writes Hilary Tensing, Chief Gobshite.

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Samantha Cameron Better In Bed Than Alan Titchmarsh says Miriam Clegg

Funny story: Samantha Cameron Better In Bed Than Alan Titchmarsh says Miriam Clegg

London - (Larkspur): A filthy rumor on the internet has compared politicians' wives' erotic skills in the mixed herbacious flower beds. Samantha Cameron and Miriam Clegg have both been pollinated by legendary TV horticultural pundit Alan Titchmars...

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Elin Nordegren And Alan Titchmarsh - The Sordid Truth

Funny story: Elin Nordegren And Alan Titchmarsh - The Sordid Truth

Your roving reporter was rudely awoken this morning at 11:15 am, whilst attempting to sleep off a skin-full by a phone call. A raspy hissing voice told me that there was a story that I couldn't afford to miss out on. Intrigued, I wrote down the di...

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Alan Titchmarsh poses for Gardener's Bird

Funny story: Alan Titchmarsh poses for Gardener's Bird

Housewives favourite Alan Titchmarsh is set to cause a stir in when he poses nude in Gardener's Bird. The 57 year veteran broadcaster will show his water features in the magazine's 75th anniversary issue. Titchmarsh, who insists his surname is...

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Alan Titchmarsh And Rusty Lee In Live TV Sausage Making Disaster

Funny story: Alan Titchmarsh And Rusty Lee In Live TV Sausage Making Disaster

What was supposed to be a routine cooking item on gardening ace Alan Titchmarsh's UK afternoon magazine show descended into the realms of farce today as Afro-Caribbean-Brummie madcap cook Rusty Lee attempted to make home made sausages. For Caribbe...

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Changing Rooms Team Really Piss Off The Pope

Funny story: Changing Rooms Team Really Piss Off The Pope

The Pope was reported to be 'seriously pissed off' tonight after the BBC's 'Changing Rooms' team descended on the Vatican Museums and used graffiti cleaning chemicals to 'clean up' the Raphael Rooms and the Sistene Chapel. "This is a disgrace!" on...

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Charlie Dimmock's Nipples Spark Diplomatic Incident

Funny story: Charlie Dimmock's Nipples Spark Diplomatic Incident

Pakistan today threatened to cut off all diplomatic relations with Britain if plans to screen 'Ground Force' on a Pakistani cable TV channel go ahead. The objections are believed to be based on Ground Force's Charlie Dimmock's nipples, and the fac...

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DIY Giant To Ban Russia's Olympic Team From Its Croydon Branch

Funny story: DIY Giant To Ban Russia's Olympic Team From Its Croydon Branch

A controversy is controversing like buggery today over plans by retail giant, B&Q, who according to reports being reported, is planning to ban the sale of gardening implements. A spokesman for the DIY chain commented: "Gardening gear can be...

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Alan Titchmarsh voted in as new vice club chairman

Funny story: Alan Titchmarsh voted in as new vice club chairman

Housewives favourite Alan Titchmarsh has recently been voted in as the new chairman of his local vice-club.

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Ready, Steady, Riot - BBC Gardener's Awards Kicks Off

Funny story: Ready, Steady, Riot - BBC Gardener's Awards Kicks Off

There were ugly scenes at last night's BBC self-congratulatory event, 100 Years of BBC Gardening, when a gang of rebel TV chefs mounted the podium, and demanded the release of their lead...

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Titchmarsh Becomes The Second High Profile Cheeky Boy

Funny story: Titchmarsh Becomes The Second High Profile Cheeky Boy

The nation's favourite gardener, Alan Titchmarsh, is today being linked to the other Cheeky Girl; you know the one that isn't shagging MP Lembit Opik.

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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