Showing:

Funny satire stories about Agony Aunts

Try another search?

Showing page 1 (of 6 pages)
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises Les Brains From Barf Who Has To Decide On A Career

Auntie Jean Advises Les Brains From Barf Who Has To Decide On A Career

Les Brains Asks: Auntie Jean, I was dropped on my head by the midwife as a baby and consequently cannot make any decisions and have no moral fibre. I can't tell right from wrong , am dishonest and selfish and frequently accidentally wear my jacket inside out. I have an appointment with the Career Adviser at school tomorrow and would like to ask about a career. Which should I choose? Auntie Jea...
View 'Auntie Jean Advises Les Brains From Barf Who Has To Decide On A Career'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises I.S. Wallow From Upper Thong Whether Or Not To Come In Out Of The Rain

Auntie Jean Advises I.S. Wallow From Upper Thong Whether Or Not To Come In Out Of The Rain

I. S. Wallow Asks: Dear Auntie Jean, I am sitting in my best clothes in wet mud in a torrential downpour in the garden. Normally despite being an otherwise intelligent human being, I ask my mother whether or not to come in out of the rain. My mother tells me I have no common sense. I have a horrific cough and what seems to be pneumonia. My mother is not speaking to me so will not tell me ei...
View 'Auntie Jean Advises I.S. Wallow From Upper Thong Whether Or Not To Come In Out Of The Rain'
Funny story: Auntie Jean advises the chess champion of the world

Auntie Jean advises the chess champion of the world

Magnus Carlsen from Norway asks: "Auntie Jean, I am in the final of the world chess championship. Actually I am in the lavatory of the competition building and there is no toilet paper. I think my opponent has stuffed it all down the toilet to put me off my game. I was going to complete a series of moves ending in a spectacular "Carlsen checkmate" coup de gras, but now I can 't wipe my arse. Can...
View 'Auntie Jean advises the chess champion of the world'
Funny story: Auntie Jean advises Eric Shun - on holiday in Wales

Auntie Jean advises Eric Shun - on holiday in Wales

Eric Shun asks Auntie Jean::Auntie Jean, I have accidentally come on holiday to Wales by getting on the wrong train. Is there anything I can do to stop clinical depression setting in? Auntie Jean answers:Eric, 1) Be optimistic, try to think that something will turn up. 2) Add up all the little joyful things that happen to you during the day. For example, there was no traffic on the road, you...
View 'Auntie Jean advises Eric Shun - on holiday in Wales'
Funny story: Auntie Jean advises Mr. Completely whose arse is superglued to a toilet seat in McDonalds

Auntie Jean advises Mr. Completely whose arse is superglued to a toilet seat in McDonalds

Mr. Completely asks: Dear Auntie Jean, I am trapped in a McDonalds toilet in Liverpool with my arse well and truly superglued to the porcelain W.C. Someone spread the glue all over the W.C. and like a fool I just sat down on it. I am permanently welded to the toilet bowl now and what's worse is that there's no door on the cubicle and I nipped into the women's loo as the men's was full.
View 'Auntie Jean advises Mr. Completely whose arse is superglued to a toilet seat in McDonalds'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Mike Rotchburns from Bell End

Auntie Jean Advises - Mike Rotchburns from Bell End

Mike Rotchburns asks: Dear Auntie Jean, I am a very heavy drinker and each day consume about twenty pints of bitter. I enjoy this and as my wife knew of my hobby when we met, she puts up with a lot from me really, but I also do the same with her. Last night I staggered, singing loudly, up the drive and stumbled through the door, like you do, was sick on the carpet and stumbled up to bed.
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Mike Rotchburns from Bell End'
Funny story: Answers to correspondents

Answers to correspondents

Q. Sir. In the 1966 World Cup final, Helmut Haller put West Germany ahead after 12 minutes. I noticed that in an episode of Fawlty Towers, Basil, with a bandage on his head is being rude to a table of very pleasant mannered Germans. On the credits I noticed the name of Helmut Haller. Is this the same Helmut Haller who scored the goal for West Germany? Colonel Blink (Chipping Norton).
View 'Answers to correspondents'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Barry McCociner from Grinstead

Auntie Jean Advises - Barry McCociner from Grinstead

Barry McCociner asks: Auntie Jean: I have recently discovered secret messages on Tomato Sauce bottle labels. These messages form part of a code which, when you take the 3rd letter of each word and assemble the whole string of letters and reverse them, reveal top secret instructions about preparing a landing site for the forthcoming invasion of earth by aliens from the planet Zod. I...
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Barry McCociner from Grinstead'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Cantsia Weiner from Glasgow

Auntie Jean Advises - Cantsia Weiner from Glasgow

Transgender Op Reversal Auntie Jean: I have had a sex change using guidance from a DIY website. After sending a Western Union transfer to Asomal Ian Pyreat purportedly in Nigeria. a photocopy of two pages from Greys Anatomy, a boxcutter, a blowtorch and a mini tube of superglue arrived. I followed the instructions but next door's dog ran away with my testicles. I have changed my mind now.
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Cantsia Weiner from Glasgow'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Boy John from Bradford

Auntie Jean Advises - Boy John from Bradford

Auntie Jean Advises - Boy John from Bradford Auntie Jean, I am a student aged 21. Recently I went on a hiking trip in Peru. I was with a party of fellow students raising money for the student bar at Bradford University. The trip went well even including a once in a lifetime climb to explore Machu Picchu. We camped in our portable tents at night and at the end of the trek usually went swimmin...
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Boy John from Bradford'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Hugh Jarce from Liverpool

Auntie Jean Advises - Hugh Jarce from Liverpool

Auntie Jean, I have a personal problem which I can hardly bring myself to mention. I'm afraid to admit that when short of money recently I did the unthinkable and went down to the Docks area to try to earn some money. I knew that the means of earning cash for services rendered was still available, and that my advancing years may work against my ambitions. So I made my way to the sperm donat...
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Hugh Jarce from Liverpool'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Dick Athlon from London

Auntie Jean Advises - Dick Athlon from London

Dick Athlon asks Auntie Jean: Auntie Jean, I am a British Spy and I am trapped in a padlocked sports bag. I was having a bath while locked in my diplomatic bag as usual. The apartment steward unexpectedly came into my flat and took the bag (with me inside it) to Heathrow airport. I think I am in the luggage hold of a plane in mid flight. My phone battery is almost depleted. On looking...
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Dick Athlon from London'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Convincing from Slough

Auntie Jean Advises - Convincing from Slough

Can I tell if she's a Ladyboy? "Convincing" asks Auntie Jean's Advice: Auntie Jean, just lately I have been "misled" by a series of very authentic looking Ladyboys. Sometimes they meet me socially and it's a kiss goodnight afterwards and a tops fondle and tongues. A few days afterwards, another drink and meal and its a handjob and tops. It can take a week or so of wasted time and money be...
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Convincing from Slough'
Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises - Gaffa Tape from Wigan

Auntie Jean Advises - Gaffa Tape from Wigan

Gaffa Tape asks: Dear Auntie Jean, Is a distinguished gentleman shafting my wife or is my wife a closet lesbian? I have been married for 3 years and was recently putting her underwear back in the drawers after my regular afternoon's trannying when I noticed some men's shirts in the bottom of the drawer. Underneath the shirts were a pipe and tobacco and an assortment of theatrical beards.
View 'Auntie Jean Advises - Gaffa Tape from Wigan'
Funny story: Rocko's Perspective - When They Knock On Your Door...

Rocko's Perspective - When They Knock On Your Door...

Here at Rocko's Perspective, we keep finding solutions to everyone's problem. But 25.0765% of the letters I receive have a common problem -- they knock on your door and scare you with fire and brimstone. Yes, you know where I'm heading. They might be annoying at times, to the point of throwing the Panzer Kitchenware Anti-Gravity Pots and Pans at them. Well, that might shoo them away, but they'l...
View 'Rocko's Perspective - When They Knock On Your Door...'
Funny story: Rocko's Perspective - Thou shalt not suffer a "what?" to live.

Rocko's Perspective - Thou shalt not suffer a "what?" to live.

Hear ye, hear ye! We received another letter from a curious lady, who is curious on what shall not be suffered to live. Here's her letter: Dear Rocko, I had a breakup with my boyfriend because he told me that I don't deserve to live. He keeps slapping me with some quotes from his Bible just because I am not going to Topeka, Kansas with him. He's planning to join the "cult" called "Westboro B...
View 'Rocko's Perspective - Thou shalt not suffer a "what?" to live.'
Funny story: Dear Abby's Last Words: Advises Everyone To "Go Fuck Themselves."

Dear Abby's Last Words: Advises Everyone To "Go Fuck Themselves."

MINNEAPOLIS, MN-In a shocking turn of events ailing Dear Abby advice columnist Pauline Phillips shelved her customary charm by issuing a final declaration for her readers to "go fuck themselves." "I've always looked to her column for quaint life a...
View 'Dear Abby's Last Words: Advises Everyone To "Go Fuck Themselves."'
Funny story: Dear Abby "Ghost" Puzzles Minneapolis Area

Dear Abby "Ghost" Puzzles Minneapolis Area

(AP) Minneapolis- In a surprise development, an apparition described by many as the "ghost of Dear Abby" has been visiting dozens of Minneapolis homes giving unwanted advice. Pauline Phillips, better known to millions of newspaper readers for deca...
View 'Dear Abby "Ghost" Puzzles Minneapolis Area'

Showing page 1 (of 6 pages)
Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
Increase speedPlayback speedIncrease speed Help
Skip backwardsPausePlaySkip forward

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 3?

4 25 3 6


62 readers are online right now!

Go to top