Financial industry insiders from a shared mergers and acquisitions cubicles in the sub-let financial offices of the Katz Deli basement, today reported a General Electric leveraged buy out of family owned Phurken Industrial Plumbing Supply.
Rejecting Liberty Media's latest bid for the struggling book store chain, Barnes & Noble has announced the acceptance of a deal from The Gap that will merge current bookstore locations with clothing and accessories from Baby Gap specialty stores.
GE today revealed a takeover of a number of companies in the Bouncy Castle rental industry catapulting it into the number one place for inflatable Child Leisure Services in one fail swoop.
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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