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Funny satire stories about Abraham Lincoln

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Funny story: Lincoln Highway to be Renamed Bob Marley Highway

Lincoln Highway to be Renamed Bob Marley Highway

CHEYENNE, WYOMING - The Lincoln Highway, created in 1913 and stretching 3400 miles coast to coast, from New York to San Francisco, will be renamed Bob Marley Highway in a ceremony this summer at the highest point on the highway, Sherman Hill, located...
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Funny story: "Second Coming" Come and Gone?

"Second Coming" Come and Gone?

There was a brief moment of what can only be described as pandemonium yesterday near the Lincoln Memorial at Washington's National Mall. A man claiming to be Jesus of Nazareth was seen to walk barefoot across the Reflecting PooL scene of many a p...
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Funny story: Abraham Lincoln to Switch Parties

Abraham Lincoln to Switch Parties

HEAVEN--In a tweet sent from heaven yesterday, Abraham Lincoln announced: "Watching the Party of Me turn into the party of Steve King and Don Young. Am switching to the other side, till my side gets its shit together." The founder of the modern Re...
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Funny story: South Dakota May Have To Sell Mount Rushmore

South Dakota May Have To Sell Mount Rushmore

KEYSTONE, South Dakota - A fact finding team comprised of three South Dakota state senators recently traveled to the Black Hills town of Keystone, South Dakota. They visited the Mount Rushmore National Memorial, site of the colossal presidential s...
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Funny story: Mt. Rushmore Mistaken for the Fiscal Cliff; Lincoln Loses Face

Mt. Rushmore Mistaken for the Fiscal Cliff; Lincoln Loses Face

Keystone, South Dakota - The Mount Rushmore National Memorial was severely damaged last night by a missile fired by a US military drone. The attack apparently was commissioned by Congress in what is now being called "a clerical error." "Our bad,"...
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Funny story: Bill O'Reilly Reveals Inspiration Behind His Books

Bill O'Reilly Reveals Inspiration Behind His Books

Fox News' chief of making speculation sound like actual facts, Bill O'Reilly, has revealed where he got the idea for his latest books 'Killing Lincoln' and 'Killing Kennedy'. O'Reilly, who co-wrote the books with the rarely mentioned Martin Dugard...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Is Not Happy With Mitt Romney

Donald Trump Is Not Happy With Mitt Romney

MANHATTAN - Donald Trump is back on the proverbial political warpath. And this time the Trumpster says that if things don't change in the Romney presidential campaign he may just end up voting for the Peace and Freedom Party candidate Roseanne Barr.
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Funny story: JFK: Zombie Hunter Set to Surpass Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

JFK: Zombie Hunter Set to Surpass Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Hollywood may well have surpassed itself after it was announced today that Kevin Costner has signed up with Universal Studios to write, produce, direct and star in the highly anticipated JFK: Zombie Hunter movie which, along with the recently release...
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Funny story: Trapdoor found under Dorking Swimming Pool

Trapdoor found under Dorking Swimming Pool

Maintenance crews repairing the hairline fracture in Dorking Swimming Pool have discovered a large trapdoor leading to previously undiscovered underground chambers. "The pool was constructed originally in 1870," said pool manager, Captain Jeremiah...
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Funny story: Bill O'Reilly's Book On Abraham Lincoln Has Been Found To Have A Few Historical Inaccuracies

Bill O'Reilly's Book On Abraham Lincoln Has Been Found To Have A Few Historical Inaccuracies

NEW YORK CITY - One of the nation's leading political talk show commentators Bill O'Reilly says that he really enjoyed writing his latest book titled, Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination That Changed America Forever. The 62-year-old host o...
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Funny story: Al Gore Cancels April Fools' Day for Planet Earth

Al Gore Cancels April Fools' Day for Planet Earth

Planning on playing a few tricks on April 1? Fuhgeddaboudit. That's the message from Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President, guardian of the planet, and inventor of the Internet. "Things are so bad in the world, there's nothing to laugh at thi...
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Funny story: Who will be Spielberg's Lincoln?

Who will be Spielberg's Lincoln?

Steven Spielberg, the legendary producer and moviemaker, is now on the talent scout trail...he is on the lookout for an actor or non-actor to portray the well-loved (the North) and the well-hated (the South) former president of the United States: Abr...
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Funny story: Ghost Of Lincoln Boots Glenn Beck Out Of His Memorial

Ghost Of Lincoln Boots Glenn Beck Out Of His Memorial

Glenn Beck returned quietly late at night after his speech at the Lincoln Memorial to gloat over his success. "I really had 'em in the palm of my hand!" he snickered to himself. The empty hall echoed smally his laughter. Empty, that is, save for another set of footsteps approaching. Beck frightened, turned to see a tall figure approaching him. The individual had a ghostly appearance. He had to...
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Funny story: Co-Joined Twins attacked On Visit To Lincoln's Grave During School Trip

Co-Joined Twins attacked On Visit To Lincoln's Grave During School Trip

Terry and Mary McBriar, a pair of co-joined twins, were treated for injuries that a local hospital and released after the were assaulted while visiting Abraham Lincoln's gravesite. The two were on a field trip with a busload of other students from C...
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Funny story: Abraham Lincoln Purged By Republlcan Party....Not Born in USA

Abraham Lincoln Purged By Republlcan Party....Not Born in USA

In a stunning announcement today, Michael Steele Chairman of The Republican Party pronounced Abraham LIncoln as purged from the Republican Party. Said Steele....."We now know, proof positive, that Abraham LIncoln was not born in thls country and...
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Funny story: Lincoln Memorial Comes To Life After Lightning Bolt Strike

Lincoln Memorial Comes To Life After Lightning Bolt Strike

Columbus Day tourists to the famed Lincoln Memorial fled in terror as the famous statue rose from it's perch after an errant lightning bolt struck it. Rising to a height of 28 feet tall, the bewildered behemoth lumbered forth smashing the Doric co...
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Funny story: JFK Conspiracy Theorists Reveal Identity of True Killer in The Grassy Knoll

JFK Conspiracy Theorists Reveal Identity of True Killer in The Grassy Knoll

Conspiracy theorists who investigate the assasination of President John F. Kennedy have worked tirelessly for over 45 years to uncover the truth of what happened that fateful day in Dallas. Now, at their annual convention, they have come to a consen...
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Funny story: Abraham Lincoln Spotted in Convenience Store

Abraham Lincoln Spotted in Convenience Store

At 4:54 PM, Abraham Lincoln walked into Roger's Convenience and bought a Mars bar and a lighter with basketballs on it. So says Maurice Sugarbloom, part-time cashier of Roger's Convenience. "He had a beard, a big black hat, and he was tall.
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