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Funny satire stories about Aaron Hernandez

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Funny story: Lizzie Borden: A Soulmate for Aaron Hernandez

Lizzie Borden: A Soulmate for Aaron Hernandez

FALL RIVER, MA- In court the alleged killer looked angelic, like another killer who dominated the news in the same jurisdiction a century ago. Aaron Hernandez was in a Fall River, Mass., courtroom, and he looked dapper and svelte in a blue tie and...
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Funny story: New England Coach Bill Belichick Wants Wes Welker Back Bad

New England Coach Bill Belichick Wants Wes Welker Back Bad

NEW ENGLAND - The way that Coach Bill Belichick's New England Patriots are losing receivers they may end up having to put in the team punter at the wide end slot. Due to the exodus of receivers Wes Welker, the injury to Rob Gronkowski, the convict...
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Funny story: Two Men Arrested In A Plot To Break Aaron Hernandez Out of Prison

Two Men Arrested In A Plot To Break Aaron Hernandez Out of Prison

DARTMOUTH, Massachusetts - A spokesperson for The Bristol County House of Corrections has just announced that a plot to break out former New England Patriots wide receiver Aaron Hernandez out of jail has been foiled. Two men identified as Sheridan...
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Funny story: Belichick: No idea where Hernandez learned criminal disregard of others

Belichick: No idea where Hernandez learned criminal disregard of others

FOXBORO, MA--Speaking publicly for the first time about the murder charges facing former tight end Aaron Hernandez, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick emphasized that pathological wrongdoing and a lack of empathy for others were not the kind of v...
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Funny story: Aaron Hernandez: Not Exactly Smart & Pretty

Aaron Hernandez: Not Exactly Smart & Pretty

NFL testing results for Aaron Hernandez have been leaked. To no one's surprise, the Patriots bought a pig in a pokey when they drafted him. He is not dumb as a rock, but when your un-cashed paycheck is discovered at your "flop house," you make a...
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Funny story: Aaron Hernandez Will Not Be Having A Prison Wedding

Aaron Hernandez Will Not Be Having A Prison Wedding

BRISTOL COUNTY, Massachusetts - Aaron Hernandez is in a world of trouble and the ex-$8 million per year New England Patriots player cannot even afford to pay for a Get Out of Jail Free Card. In the span of just a few short weeks Hernandez has gone...
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Funny story: The Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Dolls - The Good News and The Bad News

The Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Dolls - The Good News and The Bad News

CHICAGO - The Hasbroken Toy Company that manufactures the Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Doll has just made an announcement regarding the ex-New England Patriots player. Company spokesperson, Zandreeka LaSheena Lovecake, 29, said that they will be rec...
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Funny story: Reading the Tattoos of Aaron Hernandez

Reading the Tattoos of Aaron Hernandez

Egyptologists have been brought into the Bristol County Jail to read the complex mishmash of tattoos on Aaron Hernandez. Apparently the initial reading of the ink spots all over his arms, chest, back, and hidden areas, are provocative and perhaps...
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Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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