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Funny satire stories about Aaron Hernandez

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The New England Patriots Tell Rob Gronkowski To Tone Down His Partying Or He'll Be Traded

Funny story: The New England Patriots Tell Rob Gronkowski To Tone Down His Partying Or He'll Be Traded

FOXBORO, Massachcusetts - It is no secret that the New England Patriots organization has been quite embarrassed at the off-the-field antics of tight end Rob Gronkowski. An inside source spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and s...

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Lizzie Borden: A Soulmate for Aaron Hernandez

FALL RIVER, MA- In court the alleged killer looked angelic, like another killer who dominated the news in the same jurisdiction a century ago. Aaron Hernandez was in a Fall River, Mass., courtroom, and he looked dapper and svelte in a blue tie and...

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New England Coach Bill Belichick Wants Wes Welker Back Bad

Funny story: New England Coach Bill Belichick Wants Wes Welker Back Bad

NEW ENGLAND - The way that Coach Bill Belichick's New England Patriots are losing receivers they may end up having to put in the team punter at the wide end slot. Due to the exodus of receivers Wes Welker, the injury to Rob Gronkowski, the convict...

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Two Men Arrested In A Plot To Break Aaron Hernandez Out of Prison

Funny story: Two Men Arrested In A Plot To Break Aaron Hernandez Out of Prison

DARTMOUTH, Massachusetts - A spokesperson for The Bristol County House of Corrections has just announced that a plot to break out former New England Patriots wide receiver Aaron Hernandez out of jail has been foiled. Two men identified as Sheridan...

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Belichick: No idea where Hernandez learned criminal disregard of others

Funny story: Belichick: No idea where Hernandez learned criminal disregard of others

FOXBORO, MA--Speaking publicly for the first time about the murder charges facing former tight end Aaron Hernandez, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick emphasized that pathological wrongdoing and a lack of empathy for others were not the kind of v...

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Aaron Hernandez: Not Exactly Smart & Pretty

NFL testing results for Aaron Hernandez have been leaked. To no one's surprise, the Patriots bought a pig in a pokey when they drafted him. He is not dumb as a rock, but when your un-cashed paycheck is discovered at your "flop house," you make a...

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Aaron Hernandez Will Not Be Having A Prison Wedding

Funny story: Aaron Hernandez Will Not Be Having A Prison Wedding

BRISTOL COUNTY, Massachusetts - Aaron Hernandez is in a world of trouble and the ex-$8 million per year New England Patriots player cannot even afford to pay for a Get Out of Jail Free Card. In the span of just a few short weeks Hernandez has gone...

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The Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Dolls - The Good News and The Bad News

Funny story: The Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Dolls - The Good News and The Bad News

CHICAGO - The Hasbroken Toy Company that manufactures the Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Doll has just made an announcement regarding the ex-New England Patriots player. Company spokesperson, Zandreeka LaSheena Lovecake, 29, said that they will be rec...

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Reading the Tattoos of Aaron Hernandez

Egyptologists have been brought into the Bristol County Jail to read the complex mishmash of tattoos on Aaron Hernandez. Apparently the initial reading of the ink spots all over his arms, chest, back, and hidden areas, are provocative and perhaps...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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