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Funny story: ASBO Failure Plans to take their iPods

ASBO Failure Plans to take their iPods

The anti social behaviour order was introduced by then Prime Minister Tony Blair in 19998. Over the years, it has had many criticisms. Last week the home secretary Teresa May announced it was time to abolish these orders with the introduction of...
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Funny story: Asbos On The Way Out

Asbos On The Way Out

Following constant and large scale criticism of Anti Social Behaviour Orders (otherwise known as ASBOs), the coalition government has finally announced replacement measures aimed at ridding the U.K. of one of the greatest scourges of the 21st Century...
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Funny story: Morris Dancers Protest Imposition of Gang ASBOs

Morris Dancers Protest Imposition of Gang ASBOs

Morris dancers throughout the country reacted angrily today to the Home Office announcement that courts would now be able to use gang ASBOs to curtail the activities of roaming bands of morris men. "It's unbelievable," foamed George Caper-Hey, wav...
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Funny story: Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits 'psychological contract' with the public is broken.

Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits 'psychological contract' with the public is broken.

Scotland Yard, London: An example of what Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits as the 'psychological contract' with the public being broken, is when a tin of pink emulsion paint dumped over a two-year old silver Chevrolet and the deflatio...
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Funny story: Jesus gets ASBO

Jesus gets ASBO

We can exclusively reveal that Jesus has today been handed an ASBO in a surprising turn of events at the High Court. Ruling for the prosecution in the case Judge Gary Baldi said "The evidence was overwhelming in the end - he has to be taught a les...
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Funny story: ASBOs to be discontinued

ASBOs to be discontinued

At long last ASBO effectiveness has been questioned. Findings from studies indicate that a high percentage of individuals having 'ASBOs slapped on them', have been found to be suffering from mental illnesses, learning difficulties and many were foun...
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Funny story: Homeless Man banned from NHS given Asbo

Homeless Man banned from NHS given Asbo

A homeless man has been given a criminal Asbo, as he is an expert at faking illness, to be able to stay in Hospital; the fraud has cost the NHS tens of thousands of pounds. Christopher Dearlove, 41, used more than 70 aliases to trick NHS staff int...
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Funny story: Ordinary Man Displaced from Home by Travelers Seeks Solace in Drink!

Ordinary Man Displaced from Home by Travelers Seeks Solace in Drink!

A man, a quite ordinary man, a natural born citizen of Britain, and a hard working man indeed by all accounts, was finally driven to drink today after a run in with the National Tourist Board that threatened him with an ASBO and incarceration after...
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Funny story: Unruly Cat gets an ASBO

Unruly Cat gets an ASBO

A cat from a small town in Wiltshire is the first feline in Britain to receive an ASBO. Scratcher the Tabby from Wootten Bassett, who was recently awarded a Victoria Cross for bravery in Afghanistan, has become such a menace to the local community...
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Funny story: ASBOs prepared and ready to slap on American Subo fanatics

ASBOs prepared and ready to slap on American Subo fanatics

Police have issued a statement today that they have already prepared ASBO's to slap on crazed American Subo fans when they next arrive in the UK. The riot squad is busy training for their arrival in the event that they are called to duty. Police...
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Funny story: Dolphin Receives ASBO

Dolphin Receives ASBO

The world's first mammalian ASBO has been served on a New Zealand dolphin. Moko, a thirteen year old boisterous bottle-nose has been stealing surf boards, stranding body boarders and generally annoying anyone who ventures into his 'manor'. Dete...
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Funny story: Myleene Klass's Intruder complains about treatment

Myleene Klass's Intruder complains about treatment

The Hoodie Boy who tresspassed on Myleene Klass's property this week has complained about his treatment to a local Newspaper. He is said to be horrified by his treatment at the hands of the pretty television presenter, after she shouted at him throu...
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Funny story: Harriet Harman Issued an ASBO

Harriet Harman Issued an ASBO

Gordon Brown was left with some explaining to do when Harriet Harman, governemt Minister was issued an ASBO for singing the current Rage Against The Machine single - Killing In The Name 'in anger' while shopping. Ms Harman had been shopping at Lid...
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Funny story: ASBO For Saying Lord's Prayer

ASBO For Saying Lord's Prayer

An Anti Social Behavioral Order (ASBO) has been issued to a man following numerous complaints. It is said that the man, thought to be in his early 30s, continually recited a prayer loudly. He is also thought to have broken bread and given it to his n...
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Funny story: Drunk Justice: ASBOs, springs and Safaris in London

Drunk Justice: ASBOs, springs and Safaris in London

Frank Miller investigates past and present Police methods of tackling the increase of drunken behaviour on the streets of the UK. Another ASBO You may have heard about the Drunken ASBO launched this week, but this isn't the whole story. In a less publicised initiative, the streets of Newport in Wales have become the arena for a new pilot scheme which about to begin its six month trial.
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Funny story: New Anti Stab Knife: Asbo yob heads off to EU Courts for breach of human rights

New Anti Stab Knife: Asbo yob heads off to EU Courts for breach of human rights

Liverpool: Repeat offender and current Asbo world champion, Martin 'Divvy' Derek of Croxteth, Liverpool today announced he planned to go to the European Court of Human Rights after using one of the revolutionary new Anti Stab knives. THINK SAFETY...
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Funny story: David Attenborough receives ASBO from dolphins

David Attenborough receives ASBO from dolphins

Sir David Attenborough, the face and voice of British natural history programmes, was left bewildered yesterday at having received an ASBO following filming of his new series "The lives of dolphins." As a result of an order he is banned from approach...
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Funny story: ASBO's Issuing Beatings To Criminal Youngsters

ASBO's Issuing Beatings To Criminal Youngsters

The older generation, victimised for years, have taken matters concerning youth crime into their own hands by doling out their own brand of punishment. In several cases, youths have been clubbed with walking sticks and beaten with zimmerframes.
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Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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