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Funny satire stories about 999

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Funny story: 101 Non-Emergency Number To Be Scrapped

101 Non-Emergency Number To Be Scrapped

Following literally some consultation the UK Home Office has decided to scrap the Single Non-Emergency Number (SNEN). Introduced in 2006 by the last Labour government, the public, who are notoriously idiotic found it virtually impossible to decide...
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Funny story: Gok Wan to become the fifth emergency service

Gok Wan to become the fifth emergency service

Popular, and very camp, fashionista Gok Wan has requested to be added to the 999 emergency services list. "Well, honey," said Gok (he insisted on being called just by his first name), "there are a lot of women out there that need my help. I just c...
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Funny story: BT Issue Warning - Do Not Dial 999 And Ask For The Bonkettes

BT Issue Warning - Do Not Dial 999 And Ask For The Bonkettes

Leading British Telecommunications company, BT, today advised customers to only call 999 in cases of genuine emergency, and not to ask for the latest updates on chart topping girl band, the Bonkettes. A spokesman, who was female judging by the lad...
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Funny story: Old Woman Calls 911 About Fornicating Sparrows

Old Woman Calls 911 About Fornicating Sparrows

Narberth, PA-- Michelle Critter, 98, called the 911 emergency line 20 times yesterday. The elderly spinster was very upset about some sparrows that were having carnal relations in her front yard. She wanted the police to stop them. The police fina...
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Funny story: Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed

Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed

A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport's W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance...
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Funny story: 999 Number To Be Changed To 911

999 Number To Be Changed To 911

Government ministers and the heads of Britain's emergency services have decided at a meeting in Downing Street tonight to drastically and controversially overhaul the Emergency Services by changing the telephone number from 999 to 911. The move co...
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Funny story: MP Outcry over 999 Jacuzzi Call

MP Outcry over 999 Jacuzzi Call

A Smegmadale MP has been called an 'effeminate barmy clot' for dialling 999 after hearing strange noises from his turbo jacuzzi. Smegmadale Labour MP Rupert Plonker called emergency services when something mechanical went violently squirly inside...
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Breaking News...

Monsanto... Very Fishy Indeed!

After dumping two tons of genetically modified fish into the Atlantic, anyone henceforth fishing in any ocean or sea anywhere in the world will have to buy a licence from Monsanto ... or be sued.
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