Washington DC - Appearing in what he called a "Dakishi" and then apologizing in case he pronounced the word wrong, President Obama today told reporters in the White House briefing room that there was "no fucking way" he would sign a bill allowing vic...
10. "This is CA3! Charlie Alpha Three! No UFO's reported in the past 24 hours. Geronimo Amish Buggy! Repeat: Geronimo Amish Buggy!"
9. "I've had these HIC! hiccups for a week. Send someone over to scare me!"
8. "How long does it take for a 20-pound turkey to thaw?"
7. "Send a big officer right away. I can't get this lid off the jar and I've even ran hot water over it!"
Privately miffed for decades over the common misuse of their U.S. based corporate switchboard and dealer network phone lines, Porsche has asked the federal government to change the "911" emergency call number to "something else".
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Well it is now official, Gary Busey has just taken over the nickname of "The Space Cadet" from Charlie "No Show" Sheen.
According to reports published in The Tinsel Town Times Tribune, Fajita San Guacamole wrote that while Gary's...
Government ministers and the heads of Britain's emergency services have decided at a meeting in Downing Street tonight to drastically and controversially overhaul the Emergency Services by changing the telephone number from 999 to 911.
The move co...
WASHINGTON D.C.--(ASSOCSHAT PRESS) President George Walker Bush was arrested at the White House today based upon clear evidence which surfaced proving that he masterminded 911 Hoax. Secret Service pe...
Belfast- Today on the steps of the historic Stormont castle, seat of the Northern Ireland assembly, Gerry Adams leader of the IRA's political wing, Sinn Fein, declared from his beard to waiting reporters that he had an important communique from t...
The notion that 9/11 was caused by a group of greedy billionaire oil barons has been dismissed by a group of greedy billionaire oil barons.
Crawford- Ever since the charred rubble remains of that fateful day were removed, and the valuable steel sold to China, people have looked to the steadfastly determined US government to make sense of the confusion and fear that surrounds the most imp...
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