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Funny story:  Andy Rooney Writes His Own Obituary

Andy Rooney Writes His Own Obituary

Andy Rooney was found dead in his office yesterday sitting in front of his keyboard. Rooney 92 was best known for his down home observations on the long running news magazine 60 Minutes. Rooney had retired about a month ago so it seems he saw the han...
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Funny story:  Still Crotchety Andy Rooney Uses Fewer Words

Still Crotchety Andy Rooney Uses Fewer Words

Somewhere in the Continental United States - Regular 60 Minutes contributor, Andy Rooney, disappointed fans this week saying simply "Screw you, America. I'm ninety-one years old, I can say whatever random thoughts pop into my head, and it will still...
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Funny story:  Sales of Attack Chipmunks Rise

Sales of Attack Chipmunks Rise

Special to INS - The Wall Street Journal reported that sales of attack chipmunks increased dramatically in 2009. It estimates that more than 270 thousand of the small rodents have been purchased by Americans in response to terrorist threats since 200...
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Funny story:  Andy Rooney Voted Sexiest Newscaster by Blind Insane Women

Andy Rooney Voted Sexiest Newscaster by Blind Insane Women

New York - In a recent survey taken by Playgirl magazine, 60 Minutes veteran Andy Rooney was voted the sexiest newscaster. Rooney, 85, whose witty commentaries were a standard feature on the CBS news show 60 Minutes for decades, was voted America'...
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Funny story:  ATNT Internationale Refuses Responsibility for How Homophobes Use Their Free Minutes

ATNT Internationale Refuses Responsibility for How Homophobes Use Their Free Minutes

Communication giant ATNT has gone on the aggressive against the haters who would blame them for conspiring against American Idol gay boy Adam Lambert and Got Talent Man Lady Susan Boyle. The atomic communication corporation warned rumopur mongering g...
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Funny story:  Bush shocks world: "I was not born on your planet."

Bush shocks world: "I was not born on your planet."

In a taped conversation with Steve Kroft of 60 Minutes, President Bush revealed that he was born on another planet. The admission stunned everyone in the studio, including Kroft. What follows is a transcript of the ensuing conversation.
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Funny story:  Andy Rooney goes on tirade, plug pulled on segment-- network narrowly avoids millions in FCC fines

Andy Rooney goes on tirade, plug pulled on segment-- network narrowly avoids millions in FCC fines

Andy Rooney, famous for his short commentaries that appear at the end of the long running "60 Minutes" program on CBS, has been fired after launching into what can only be described as a controversial and obcene tirade.
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Funny story:  CBS News 60 Minutes program off the air

CBS News 60 Minutes program off the air

60 Minutes, the CBS News magazine providing a ‘blend of hard-hitting investigative reports, interviews, feature segments and profiles of people in the news,' has been taken off the air.
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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