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Funny story: Elizabeth Warren's Son, "I'm a Heterosexual"

Elizabeth Warren's Son, "I'm a Heterosexual"

Boston - Calling his mother a "manipulative, lying, exploitive, self-serving, opportunist," Dave Warren, her eldest son, adamantly denied being gay. "Mom outed me to a group of fund raisers so she could get their money. She likes to portray hersel...
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Funny story: Extremely racist old man planning to run for U.S. president in 2016

Extremely racist old man planning to run for U.S. president in 2016

Ah, yes. Elections. The only thing more American than that is a morbidly obese 40 year old drunk man carrying an assault rifle; yelling at immigrants. Boy, we really let our forefathers down. Around 65 people are potential candidates for presiden...
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Funny story: Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

DES MOINES, IA - It was reported today that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie refused to shower with other GOP hopefuls after the 2015 Freedom Summit hosted by Iowa Congressman Steve King. At the annual event several potential presidential candid...
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Funny story: Chris Christie Running In 2016 As Congress Votes to Classify White House Snack Budget

Chris Christie Running In 2016 As Congress Votes to Classify White House Snack Budget

TRENTON, NJ - New Jersey governor Chris Christie says he will run for the Republican nomination in the 2016 presidential election. In a news conference later today, he will endorse what he calls "a monumental piece of legislation". Governor Chr...
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Funny story: For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

WASHINGTON - It has surfaced that Mitt Romney has desire to run again for his third presidential bid. Although he has yet to officially throw his hat into the 2016 mix, sources close to him say that he is excited and has a good feeling about th...
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Funny story: To Woo Women Voters, Republicans to Hand Out Free Rape Kits at Their National Convention in 2016

To Woo Women Voters, Republicans to Hand Out Free Rape Kits at Their National Convention in 2016

WASHINGTON, D.C.-With Barack Obama winning the women's vote nearly 56% to 44% over his challenger Mitt Romney, Republicans are poised, in 2016, to woo back the women's vote. Their secret plan: To hand out free rape kits to women leading up to and a...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

WASHINGTON, D. C. (DP)-Mitt Romney, who died in 2028 at the age of eighty-one while running for president for the seventh time, is poised to give it another shot, advisors to the cryogenically frozen candidate reported today. Close advisors to...
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Funny story: GOP Concedes 2016 Presidential Election

GOP Concedes 2016 Presidential Election

Washington D.C. - The Republican Party released a statement today conceding the 2016 Presidential election to the Democratic Party. GOP Chairman Reince Priebus first released a written statement at 8 a.m. EST, then two hours later spoke at a press co...
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Funny story: CIA/NSA to 'automate' the 2016 Presidential Election

CIA/NSA to 'automate' the 2016 Presidential Election

Vapor Lock, Virginia - The US government can expect a 100% voter turnout for the 2016 Presidential Election. The reason: Democracy is going digital. America's two surveillance powerhouses - the Central Intelligence Agency and the Nationa...
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Funny story: Karl Rove offers brain transfusion to Hillary Clinton from his own cranium

Karl Rove offers brain transfusion to Hillary Clinton from his own cranium

Mindful of the uproar over his recent comment that Hillary Clinton may have suffered brain damage from a fall back in December, 2012, Karl Rove clarified his position yesterday. According to reps from his office he is merely worried--including con...
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Funny story: Jeb Bush Derides GOP Vagina Envy, Says He's Satisfied With What He Has In His Pants

Jeb Bush Derides GOP Vagina Envy, Says He's Satisfied With What He Has In His Pants

Jeb Bush believes he's the only male Republican contender for president who doesn't have vagina envy, and admits he's not very well-versed on the female anatomy, making him a more oafishly appealing candidate to women. "Don't have one, don't want...
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Funny story: Chelsea Goes GOP; Might Challenge Mom For Presidency

Chelsea Goes GOP; Might Challenge Mom For Presidency

Former first daughter Chelsea Clinton has announced her intention to seek the Republican nomination for president in 2016, setting up a potential showdown with her mother Hillary, the heavy favorite among Democrats planning to run. Chelsea, now a...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Reveals That Thousands of Republicans Want Him To Run For President

Rush Limbaugh Reveals That Thousands of Republicans Want Him To Run For President

NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh just remarked on his radio talk show that he is now more popular than Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum all put together. Limbaugh added that every day he receives as many as 80 text...
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Funny story: Politicians do three ring Circus Circus plus sanctions poker and whirling dwarfs

Politicians do three ring Circus Circus plus sanctions poker and whirling dwarfs

Named after a famous Las Vegas casino, this new political show is now open and selling tickets for the global stage. The show is vibrant and full of drama. Cries of "Bravo! Bravo!" fill The Big Top. Would-be president Hillary Clinton stuns on t...
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Funny story: Condoleezza Rice Hits The Nail On Her Head With Her Comment About Sarah Palin

Condoleezza Rice Hits The Nail On Her Head With Her Comment About Sarah Palin

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama - Condoleezza Rice recently spoke with Tabitha Tula Wishywater of GOPicky Magazine. She was asked if she felt that Sarah Palin would make a good presidential candidate. Rice shook her head and replied that she would not want...
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Funny story: Bill Clinton disses Obummer

Bill Clinton disses Obummer

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - During the previous presidential election, former president Bill Clinton suppressed his true feelings for his wife's arch rival. To project the appearance of political unity within the Demcats Party, Clinton refrained from criti...
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Funny story: Rand Paul Shops Pander Mountain

Rand Paul Shops Pander Mountain

Sen. Rand Paul on Saturday proclaimed to gathered lobbyists and big money crony donors that "Texas will be a Democrat state within 10 months if you don't make change and pass it out to the less fortunate among the proletariat as they enter this big n...
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Funny story: New Law Would Compel American Voters To Look At, Listen To, and Have Competent Authority Describe The Politicians They Will Vote For Before Voting For Them

New Law Would Compel American Voters To Look At, Listen To, and Have Competent Authority Describe The Politicians They Will Vote For Before Voting For Them

In a bid to make American voters more educated about, and possibly reconsider, their decision to vote, lawmakers have passed a law requiring American voters to look at, listen to, and have a competent authority describe the politicians they will vote...
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Breaking News...

Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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