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Funny story: You Now Have Nowhere to Hide... "For your Own Good".

You Now Have Nowhere to Hide... "For your Own Good".

The man from Home Security, Klaus Offenbach, told us that "it is all for your own good". What was he referring to? And did any of us ask him or the totalitarian government masquerading as a multi-party 'democracy' that he serves for any help? He is r...
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Funny story: Cellphones Announce Selfie-free Sundays

Cellphones Announce Selfie-free Sundays

Cellphones are disgusted with the amount (too many!) and general quality (awful!) of selfies, and they want everyone to know about it. So yesterday in NYC's Times Square they held a press conference to tell the world that they had come to an impor...
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Funny story: Busty peroxide Russian tennis ho, 23, drops dead in bolt-from-the-blue coronary

Busty peroxide Russian tennis ho, 23, drops dead in bolt-from-the-blue coronary

Moscow - An up-and-coming young tennis pro Violet de la Tiara Eva was found slumped dead this morning following a work-out with new balls on court number one. The 23 year-old beauty was internationally famous for her 30 inch long peroxide hair ex...
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Funny story: Cool Sounding "Planet X" draws attention away other more worthwhile celestial bodies

Cool Sounding "Planet X" draws attention away other more worthwhile celestial bodies

Theoretical planet, Planet X is again making headlines despite the fact that there are curious discoveries on other real, existing planetary bodies. Planet X, also known as Nibiru (another cool sounding alias), is an undiscovered enormous planet...
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Funny story: Elton John to blame for white rhino extinction

Elton John to blame for white rhino extinction

The white rhino is now effectively extinct. The last female is no longer able to reproduce, and it's all Elton John's fault. In November, Mr John was on holiday visiting the Um Bongo game reserve in Kenya with his husband David Furnish, when he pa...
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Funny story: Japanese Woman Gives Birth to Giant squid

Japanese Woman Gives Birth to Giant squid

Shinsuji Takamashaya gave birth to a twenty pound Giant Squid on the tiny Japanese atoll of Fonguyutu" - said Doctor Myashkenazi, an internist and genetic biologist with Japan's National Institute of Eco and Womb Research. He said, "Thu Human squ...
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Funny story: For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

WASHINGTON - It has surfaced that Mitt Romney has desire to run again for his third presidential bid. Although he has yet to officially throw his hat into the 2016 mix, sources close to him say that he is excited and has a good feeling about th...
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Funny story: Paris vows to sue Faux News

Paris vows to sue Faux News

According to her agent, Paris Hillton may sue Faux News for referring to her erogenous zones as "no-man's lands." The comments, she whines, are "mean-spirited" and "insulting." She added, "My image has been prejudiced, and my honor has been sul...
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Funny story: The Astrology Channel pulls out of State of the Union coverage

The Astrology Channel pulls out of State of the Union coverage

Washington DC - Citing an off-color Mars/Neptune conjunction in Pisces followed by a psychotic Aquarius New Moon the acclaimed Astrology Channel has suddenly turned chicken. And cancelled Tuesday's live stream Presidential rant. It's the first...
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Funny story: Arsenal Win But Real Madrid Have Ten Eropean Cups

Arsenal Win But Real Madrid Have Ten Eropean Cups

A weird event happened in the world of football this weekend: Arsenal won away at one of the best teams in the country. After (if you read the football papers) a hundred and seventy five years and nearly a million games Arsenal finally managed to scr...
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Funny story: God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

Heavensgate - Every morning just after sunrise, says Christopher Hitchins, he and the entire heavenly host gather with their harps and neatly folded wings at the edge of a convenient cloud. Then as they drink their coffee and enjoy the air, they laug...
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Funny story: PM Vows 100% Employment

PM Vows 100% Employment

BBC News has reported today that David Cameron has pledged the Tories will help Britain become "a nation of full employment." He has not stated a specific time frame for these proposals but hopes that they will happen soonish. This announcement a...
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Funny story: 'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP

'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP

Nigel Garage, leader of the UKIPs, has launched a new policy offensive to counter the threat posed by a rampant Green Party in the UK. If elected, the UKIPs have confirmed that they will erected a dome over the UK which will ensure that no 'foreig...
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Funny story: New Satellite TV Sofa Channel - "Too Cosy"

New Satellite TV Sofa Channel - "Too Cosy"

Regulators have slammed the new Satellite TV Sofa Channel for not conforming to TV franchise guidelines. The channel schedule is described as too "twee" and cosy in a report published yesterday. The subscription package, consisting of a free sofa...
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Funny story: Just when we thought it was safe to go back in the water

Just when we thought it was safe to go back in the water

SAN DIEGO, CA -- Students and officials at San Diego State University (SDSU), like the rest of the world (or at least Europe, Canada, and the United States), are learning that it is nature that is wrong, and not transgender persons, in insisting that...
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Funny story: Cabinet maker becomes first openly Irish government figure

Cabinet maker becomes first openly Irish government figure

Shergar, County Louse - A semi-skilled cabinet maker in Ireland has come out in pubic as the first openly Irish government minister in the hystery of the traditionally conservative Catholic country. The annoucement this weekend by carpentry minist...
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Funny story: 80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

Teheran - Iranian sexologist Sheik Ratel-n-Rol, the "Renegade Imam" is on the run again tonight after publishing Goggle's 2014 statistical analysis of internet porn use on his popular "Under the Hijab" sex-discussion blog. According to the report...
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Funny story: 'He Has The Right To Remain Obnoxious' - GOP leader tells the Senate as Obama proposes massive tax hikes to soak the rich

'He Has The Right To Remain Obnoxious' - GOP leader tells the Senate as Obama proposes massive tax hikes to soak the rich

Washington - "The President has the right to remain obnoxious," US Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell said on the Sleazy-SS Channel's Fuck the Nation program in a timely free speech rant. "But he won't be getting a single red cent from decent...
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Breaking News...

'3 children per family is ideal', says Pope

'I certainly can't afford any more than that', he added
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