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Funny story: Planned Auction of Jesus Crucifixion Nails upset Christians, NRA

Planned Auction of Jesus Crucifixion Nails upset Christians, NRA

The National Rifle Association and the Christian Coalition have expressed outrage and organized a string of demonstrations outside the home of retired Governor of Rome, Pontus Pilate. Gov. Pilate has drawn the ire of conservative groups because of re...
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Funny story: Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

The mysterious disappearance of Mother Helen Graham four years ago have been solved. She was last seen alive on a nature trail in the Angeles National Forest when she strolled away to look at a cactus flower. Her friend Sister Ellen Turner said, "she...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Offered Position at Worlds #1 Email site

Hillary Clinton Offered Position at Worlds #1 Email site

2016 US Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, has been asked to forego her candidacy to become the CEO of Yahoo. Mitch Felon, the current board chairman of Yahoo made the announcement yesterday evening at a charity fundraising event for Hillary'...
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Funny story: Miraculous Bastards: New Tarantino Film Rescues Anne Frank From Nazis

Miraculous Bastards: New Tarantino Film Rescues Anne Frank From Nazis

Alert! Spoilers are ahead if you have not read the book or seen the movie. Another film--another controversy: Miraculous Bastards is the latest film from director Quentin Tarantino and it's already riled his critics. In this story, time travelers...
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Funny story: Yankee Closer Andrew Miller Complains The Crowd Is Too Loud

Yankee Closer Andrew Miller Complains The Crowd Is Too Loud

Yankee pitcher Andrew Miller has complained repeatedly about the crowd noise during his home closing performances. The crowd, Andrew opined is just "way too loud". The gangly, sinewy south paw who's been consistently at the top of the league when...
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Funny story: Water Waste Of Time

Water Waste Of Time

One thing you can always rely on with BATTL News is that we will eventually come back with something irrelevant and pointless just when you thought we'd finally buggered off. Yet after discovering that a "Water Only Bar" was to open in London we k...
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Funny story: Tom Brady Wears Short Shorts

Tom Brady Wears Short Shorts

DATELINE: Boxers or Briefs? Amicus briefs are filling out the dirty laundry in jurisprudence. Tom Brady prefers Amicus briefs. The more obtuse football fans think Amicus briefs are what the Amish wear under their clothes. You may think that...
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Funny story: Trump Announces Cabinet-to-Be

Trump Announces Cabinet-to-Be

New York, NY In his latest press conference, Trump announced his intended Cabinet for what he believes will be his upcoming Presidency. He named: Vice-President-Chris Christie-Because he knows a lot about Vice. Secretary of State-Angelina...
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Funny story: New Poll: Better then Old Poll According to Strippers

New Poll: Better then Old Poll According to Strippers

A brand new poll at the ShaDynasty's, a gentlemen's club in Washington DC, is very popular among the employees there, according to a survey by Foxy News. The old poll had been there for almost eight years and all the dancers agreed it was time for a...
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Funny story: The "World's Greatest Vagina"... up for Grabs

The "World's Greatest Vagina"... up for Grabs

At an auction in Sotheby's London, a photo of what experts describe as "the world's greatest vagina" was unveiled. Dubbed "The Source" media coverage at the auction was global. However, owner of the vagina was not named and speculation is rife; but i...
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Funny story: Vince Foster's Skeletal Remains Found In Hillary's X-Rays

Vince Foster's Skeletal Remains Found In Hillary's X-Rays

BILLINGSGATE POST: Adding more fuel to the fire of Donald Trump's off-hand remark that Vince Foster's suicide back in 1993 smelled fishy, the National Archives just released copies of Hillary Clinton's X-rays that showed that her stomach contained s...
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Funny story: The Special One replaces The Senile One!

The Special One replaces The Senile One!

As if the insanity surrounding Dutchman, King Louis van Gaal, was not enough, he has now been sentenced into exile in his Portuguese sanitorium and is being replaced by a special Portuguese Man of War, who has a lethal sting. In fact, the story is ev...
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Funny story: Loki Trumps House at Casino

Loki Trumps House at Casino

Loki Hiddleston is auditioning to be the next James Bond by starring as Pine/Birch, the mysterious agent in John LeCarre's The Night Manager. When House Laurie shows up at the Swiss hotel, the flakes fly and villainy clashes. A LeCarre miniseries...
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Funny story: We love our dogs so much that we love to see them in the news

We love our dogs so much that we love to see them in the news

We love our canines. They're our best friends. Whether they're lap dogs or monstrosities, they're full of love and we can't live without these furry and friendly beasts. Is it any wonder that so many news stories and TV snippets are made about our...
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Funny story: New Government Study Shows Old Government Study was a Waste of Money

New Government Study Shows Old Government Study was a Waste of Money

A recent government study just concluded that the previous government study was a complete waste of money. Government scientists previously conducted a study on the gambling habits of monkeys, to see if the monkeys copied other monkeys betting habits...
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Funny story: Paleo Dieters Develop Strong Urge To Hunt And Gather

Paleo Dieters Develop Strong Urge To Hunt And Gather

Scott Cheltham had never had any interest in hunting in his whole life, so when he started planning for a hunting trip and even bought a rifle, his wife Mary at first thought he was covering for an affair. "We were high school sweethearts," Mary...
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Funny story: Pheonix University Now Offering Online Kindergarten

Pheonix University Now Offering Online Kindergarten

Pheonix, AZ - The world's biggest web-based University is expanding to meet new market demands, now offering online classes for all ages. "Our studies found there is a very real demand to leave your toddler in front of a computer screen for at le...
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Funny story: North Korea Announces Desire to Host 2024 Olympics

North Korea Announces Desire to Host 2024 Olympics

Pyongyang, DPRK Kim Jong-Un, rotund and slow-thinking dictator of North Korea, announced today that North Korea's largest city, Pyongyang, would be the perfect choice to host the 2020 Olympics. Since it's already been awarded to Tokyo, Kim said they...
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Showing page 1 (of 5,139 pages)
Breaking News...

Obama in Hiroshima

Mr. President saying all the 'right' things.

"Death fell from the sky.", said he.

Never rains but it pours, eh?
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