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Call Me Dave Redefines Child Poverty

UK Prime Minister Call Me Dave has announced dramatic plans to redefine poverty in his continuing mission to further his career and improve his popularity amongst Blue Party backbenchers. The move is in line with the Party's General Popularity con...

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Throwing own faeces found out to be number one way to getting served at bar first

Funny story: Throwing own faeces found out to be number one way to getting served at bar first

Studies at the University of Central Lancashire have found that throwing your own faeces and waste at bar staff is the number one way to getting served first in a bar or restaurant. The research found the tactic, which is employed by some angry...

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UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

Funny story: UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

With only a day to go until the final, UK entry Evacuated Bowel say that they want to go one better than the last few dismal efforts and actually register a negative score. Their song, 'I Want Your Ear Wax All Over Me', is an up-beat reggae song that...

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Jeremy Clarkson more important than German air crash

Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson more important than German air crash

It seems as though while the rest of the planet are mourning the death of 150 passengers in the German Wings tragic air crash, British news readers feel that something slightly more in the light entertainment news genre is much more important. Bri...

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Formerly Deceased King Richard III Joins Social Media

The former corpse and monarch is set to involve himself in the 21st Century by joining various social media. The king was resurrected by royalist necromancers in 2012 but has maintained a low profile since his return to life. Richard III was ki...

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Queen Defends The Fabulous

The Queen of the Purple Isles has hit back at suggestions that The Fabulous should be banned from socialising with so-called 'Ordinaries'. Harry Rump of the Roundguts claimed that The Fabulous are a bizarre group who differ on every conceivable so...

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UKIP Offers Voters Marmite

UKIP has taken to the streets of Britain, handing out free jars of marmite to passers-by as a goodwill gesture to potential voters. In the run-up to the election, the party is determined to ensure it remains in the political race. UKIP original...

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Krusty Kremepie was "just klowning around" with KKK kampaign

Funny story: Krusty Kremepie was "just klowning around" with KKK kampaign

Krusty Kremepie Klub spells "KKK." It also spells BIG TROUBLE for the doughnuts franchise. A Krusty Kremepie location in the United Kingdom (aka Great Britain, aka the British Isles, aka England) has halted a "promotion" for its Krusty Kremepie...

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Greens Respond To Cameron's TV Debate Threat

Funny story: Greens Respond To Cameron's TV Debate Threat

Green Party leader, Maisie Daisy, has responded to Prime Minister David Cameron's threat not to take part in televised election debates if the Greens are not also present. "We have considered the Prime Minister's statement very carefully and, foll...

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Bring Back The Guillotine

Funny story: Bring Back The Guillotine

This countries a mess. There we said it. But it's not our opinion, but the opinion of the man on the street. The white van mad man, the market trader and the pub landlord all agree. But why is it a mess and what are the solutions, we don't know, shit we cant remember where we let the dog off it's lead last. That dam terrier could be anywhere. Anyway we grabbed a bunch of people off the street (...

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Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...

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Thief in red van steals letters from post boxes

POLICE have launched a man-hunt following the theft of letters and parcels from postal Pillar Boxes across the UK. Members of the public reported to Police a red van drawing up at double yellow lines, shortly vacated by a blue-capped man in his 40...

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Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

Funny story: Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...

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Chair From Nowhere first of new line of needless products

Tired? Back bothering you again? No problem: just "summon" The Chair From Nowhere. Inspired by cockroaches, The Chair From Nowhere is actually a stainless-steel "exoskeleton" that, like The Femdom Dildo, straps onto the wearer's body-in the case o...

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Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

Funny story: Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

The first televised debate between Scottish nationalist Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling happened this week. The two debated whether Scotland should leave the United Kingdom, however many Scottish viewers had expressed their disappointment that Sal...

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Man spies on neighbours for entertainment after running out of DVD boxsets to watch

Funny story: Man spies on neighbours for entertainment after running out of DVD boxsets to watch

Gary Flatters from Northwich admitted on Thursday night to spying on his next door neighbours "The Holt's" family, in a desperate attempt to fill the void for entertainment in his life. "Since I finished watching Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad...

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Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Funny story: Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Internet-obsessive Steven Diceham revealed his fears today that he might run out of things to read on the internet by as early as January 2015. "with the recent purchase of my new internet phone and unlimited wireless at home - I have been reading a...

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Man requests girlfriend to accept his marriage proposal again "with more enthusiasm"

Funny story: Man requests girlfriend to accept his marriage proposal again "with more enthusiasm"

London - Personal Trainer Randy Offington demanded his girlfriend Suzanna Mills agree to marry with him with "more enthusiasm" this morning. Mr Offington had gone to great lengths to make the proposal special by taking her to a park where the two ha...

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Breaking news…

Porn Lawyer Seeks to Expand Show-Biz Career

Fresh off countless CNN appearances, creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has sued Marvel Comics, demanding to be taken on as their latest super-hero -- Rabid-Ranting-Rodent-Esquire-Dude.
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