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Formerly Deceased King Richard III Joins Social Media

The former corpse and monarch is set to involve himself in the 21st Century by joining various social media. The king was resurrected by royalist necromancers in 2012 but has maintained a low profile since his return to life. Richard III was ki...

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Queen Defends The Fabulous

The Queen of the Purple Isles has hit back at suggestions that The Fabulous should be banned from socialising with so-called 'Ordinaries'. Harry Rump of the Roundguts claimed that The Fabulous are a bizarre group who differ on every conceivable so...

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UKIP Offers Voters Marmite

UKIP has taken to the streets of Britain, handing out free jars of marmite to passers-by as a goodwill gesture to potential voters. In the run-up to the election, the party is determined to ensure it remains in the political race. UKIP original...

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Krusty Kremepie was "just klowning around" with KKK kampaign

Funny story: Krusty Kremepie was "just klowning around" with KKK kampaign

Krusty Kremepie Klub spells "KKK." It also spells BIG TROUBLE for the doughnuts franchise. A Krusty Kremepie location in the United Kingdom (aka Great Britain, aka the British Isles, aka England) has halted a "promotion" for its Krusty Kremepie...

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Greens Respond To Cameron's TV Debate Threat

Funny story: Greens Respond To Cameron's TV Debate Threat

Green Party leader, Maisie Daisy, has responded to Prime Minister David Cameron's threat not to take part in televised election debates if the Greens are not also present. "We have considered the Prime Minister's statement very carefully and, foll...

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Bring Back The Guillotine

Funny story: Bring Back The Guillotine

This countries a mess. There we said it. But it's not our opinion, but the opinion of the man on the street. The white van mad man, the market trader and the pub landlord all agree. But why is it a mess and what are the solutions, we don't know, shit we cant remember where we let the dog off it's lead last. That dam terrier could be anywhere. Anyway we grabbed a bunch of people off the street (...

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Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...

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Thief in red van steals letters from post boxes

POLICE have launched a man-hunt following the theft of letters and parcels from postal Pillar Boxes across the UK. Members of the public reported to Police a red van drawing up at double yellow lines, shortly vacated by a blue-capped man in his 40...

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Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

Funny story: Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...

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Chair From Nowhere first of new line of needless products

Tired? Back bothering you again? No problem: just "summon" The Chair From Nowhere. Inspired by cockroaches, The Chair From Nowhere is actually a stainless-steel "exoskeleton" that, like The Femdom Dildo, straps onto the wearer's body-in the case o...

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Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

Funny story: Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

The first televised debate between Scottish nationalist Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling happened this week. The two debated whether Scotland should leave the United Kingdom, however many Scottish viewers had expressed their disappointment that Sal...

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Man spies on neighbours for entertainment after running out of DVD boxsets to watch

Funny story: Man spies on neighbours for entertainment after running out of DVD boxsets to watch

Gary Flatters from Northwich admitted on Thursday night to spying on his next door neighbours "The Holt's" family, in a desperate attempt to fill the void for entertainment in his life. "Since I finished watching Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad...

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Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Funny story: Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Internet-obsessive Steven Diceham revealed his fears today that he might run out of things to read on the internet by as early as January 2015. "with the recent purchase of my new internet phone and unlimited wireless at home - I have been reading a...

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Man requests girlfriend to accept his marriage proposal again "with more enthusiasm"

Funny story: Man requests girlfriend to accept his marriage proposal again "with more enthusiasm"

London - Personal Trainer Randy Offington demanded his girlfriend Suzanna Mills agree to marry with him with "more enthusiasm" this morning. Mr Offington had gone to great lengths to make the proposal special by taking her to a park where the two ha...

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Repressed gay man reaffirms his heterosexuality via song to friends, family

Funny story: Repressed gay man reaffirms his heterosexuality via song to friends, family

Personal trainer Marcelo Menzies strongly denied his homosexuality to his friends and family today despite weeks of rumours indicating he was gay. Menzies decided to put the issue to bed using the talents of his incredible singing voice singing...

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Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Funny story: Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Under a new Tory law, pubs that predominantly cater for the unemployed have to employ a thin, disheveled middle-aged man to smoke at the front door to ensure no upstanding citizens accidentally go in for a pint. The law, entitled 'fag means f**k o...

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Self Employed at Record High Levels

Funny story: Self Employed at Record High Levels

Data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) shows that self-employment is at a record high of 4 ½ million, helping push the overall jobless rate down to 6.8% While the numbers look good on the surface, however, a poll reveals some disturbin...

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Obama Drone Kills English Cup Cake Insurgent Mr. Kipling - Olde English Tea Rooms Are Legitimate Drone Targets

Funny story: Obama Drone Kills English Cup Cake Insurgent Mr. Kipling - Olde English Tea Rooms Are Legitimate Drone Targets

After the successful Drone missile attack on Cup Cake rebel leader Mr. Kipling, President Obama, acting on the outcome of a C.I.A investigation into subversionary English coffee bars has declared that old women having tea and cup cakes in "Tea Rooms"...

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