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Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...

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Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Any Bank Buildings vacated by nervous banks after a "Yes" vote could be used to house low risk savings companies willing to lend money to small businesses. The companies will have to use people's savings to generate money and to lend money out polite...

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Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone

Funny story: Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone

The British government has begun drawing up secret plans to rebuild Hadrian's Wall - the wall built by the Roman's to keep marauding Scot's out of England - to prevent starving undocumented Scottish people from entering England. If Scotland's vote...

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England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

Funny story: England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

The main UK party leaders are urging the English to campaign to have Scotland removed from the Union and to force Scottish people to stop calling themselves British. Prime Minister David Cameron and Labour leader Ed Miliband will abandon their wee...

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Scotland YES prediction boost for Tories

Funny story: Scotland YES prediction boost for Tories

The prediction, based on the latest opinion poll, that Scotland will opt for Independence has given a huge boost to Tory morale. Whilst wringing of hands at the terrible outcome, secretly the Tories are celebrating the success of their plan. Da...

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Scotland Will No Longer Be Game Shooting Theme Park After Independence - Claim

Funny story: Scotland Will No Longer Be Game Shooting Theme Park After Independence - Claim

Scotland will cease to be just somewhere that Prince Philip and The Queen slaughter game in, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the Conservative party in Glasgow. "We are probably going to revert to using the forests and moo...

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Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

Funny story: Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...

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Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

Funny story: Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness

After a tough week in which critics and supporters both agreed that he hadn't fared well in the first live television debate, Alex Salmond has decided to go for the youth vote, promising that never again will Scotland have to listen to the Top 40 wh...

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Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

Funny story: Scottish viewers disappointed Salmond didn't use "Braveheart" quotes more in independence TV debate

The first televised debate between Scottish nationalist Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling happened this week. The two debated whether Scotland should leave the United Kingdom, however many Scottish viewers had expressed their disappointment that Sal...

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Prince Charles Working As Duke Of Rothesay While On Duke Of Cornwall Handouts

Funny story: Prince Charles Working As Duke Of Rothesay While On Duke Of Cornwall Handouts

In an undercover sting by our ace reporter, Mr. Mahood (alias The Arab) HRH Prince Charles was filmed opening a bus shelter in Rothesay, Isle of Bute. Social Services are following up the lead, but Charles is known to be claiming millions from Cornwa...

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Britain on the move

England is to detach Scotland from it's seabed if voters choose in favour of independence at upcoming referendum. The plans which had been crudely scrawled on the back of a No.10 embossed napkin surfaced upon twitter this morning. They outline th...

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Scottish Safari - We Hunt Lichen

Funny story: Scottish Safari - We Hunt Lichen

Saturday: Set off from Euston Station bound for Anglesey. Arrived at 14.05 hrs to be greeted by Lichenologist Hans Nisan Bumpsadaisy. Hans relieves us of his £500 fee and goes to buy a crate of whisky. Alcoholic, Hans wasn't seen again until we found him drunk in the forest the following morning. Sunday: Hunted for Hans in the forest and found him singing and exposing himself to a group of Bene...

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As Russia And Ukraine Head Towards War English Troops Massing At Scottish Border

Funny story: As Russia And Ukraine Head Towards War English Troops Massing At Scottish Border

The UN has announced that it is concerned with reports claiming English troops are massing at the Scottish border, drawing parallels between Russia and Ukraine. Sunday's referendum held in Ukraine's Crimea region, which resulted in Crimea becoming...

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Wings Over Scotland forced to withdraw 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books as the figures don't add up

Funny story: Wings Over Scotland forced to withdraw 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books as the figures don't add up

Internet bampot and Chief Cybernat Stuart Campbell has been forced into an embarrassing u-turn after his 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books were found to be strewn with errors. The books were launched earlier this week in a blaze of glory, i...

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A Scottish Drone Lands Outside of Dover, Delaware

Funny story: A Scottish Drone Lands Outside of Dover, Delaware

DOVER, Delaware - Law enforcement officials in Dover have confirmed that a drone that crashed on Bradford Frissyfrock's Farm did in fact originate from outside the United States. Officer Ty Bolero, 43, with the Dover Police Department stated that...

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Glory Holes to be built into new Scottish homes Outrage

Funny story: Glory Holes to be built into new Scottish homes Outrage

New Scottish houses may have built in "Glory Holes", under plans to improve the home like qualities of new build designs. A proposed new development of 3000 homes along the banks of Loch Ness will each have a glory hole, with larger properties having...

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Hundreds of tanks massing north of Hadrian's Wall spotted by spy satellite

Funny story: Hundreds of tanks massing north of Hadrian's Wall spotted by spy satellite

A spy satellite has reported hundreds of tanks massing along the north side of Hadrians Wall in Northumberland. This unexpected build up of arms coincides with sightings of what appear to be tens of missile launching sites. Alexander Salmon, the O...

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Sir Alec Fergieson agrees to manage England for 2014 World Cup

Funny story: Sir Alec Fergieson agrees to manage England for 2014 World Cup

Newly retired Sir Alec Fergieson has revealed in his new book he turned down the chance to manage England twice but, if asked for a third time, would definitely accept the job... with conditions. Fergie revealed he turned down the chance to replac...

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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