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Jumper Admits it hates the cold

Funny story: Jumper Admits it hates the cold

Gary Johnson, a nine year old green jumper from Chutney-on-the-Fritz has declared that he hates the winter. 'I hate it, I really do' said the woollen mass. 'It is so cold, and I hate to go out in, but that chap, Wayne, or Kevin or whatever he is c...

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Teresa May's Magic Moneytree has a fungal infection

Funny story: Teresa May's Magic Moneytree has a fungal infection

British Prime Minister Teresa May's famed magical money tree is slowly dying from a fungal infection, reveals revered gardening expert and thinking woman's Poldark Alan Titchmarsh. The tree, which has been mentioned a few times is only really used...

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Teresa May to Change her name

Funny story: Teresa May to Change her name

Following a series of arguments with naysayers, British Prime Minister Teresa May is set to change her name to Teresa Not On Your Nelly. Famously wishy-washy, and liable to go with the consensus, like Donald Trump, Teresa May has found herself in...

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Man Shocked by number of repeats

Funny story: Man Shocked by number of repeats

Quentin Bedale Posh-Gob III has revealed, that like most of us, he is shocked by the number of repeats on Television. Quentin told us: 'There I was indoors, just polishing and cleaning my space-hopper, with oil all over the floor, when I suddenly...

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Space Hoppers to make a come-back

Funny story: Space Hoppers to make a come-back

Following the reformation of both Banarama, and The Spice Girls, another out-dated relic from the youth of many of our loyal readers is set to make a comeback, with the relaunch of the humble Space Hopper. The re-inforced balloon with two handles,...

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Trump's Twitter Feed Gains Sentience

Funny story: Trump's Twitter Feed Gains Sentience

President Donald Trump's twitter feed has, according to those in the know in the scientific community has gained sentience, able to have its own thoughts, feelings and moods, as a separate entity to Trump. 'This changes everything' said Dr Chutney...

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Man who read all of Fire and Fury still suffering from headaches

Funny story: Man who read all of Fire and Fury still suffering from headaches

Shane Whotsit, from Chutney on the Fritz who read all of Michael Wolff's despised political tome Fire and Fury - Inside Trump's White House for a bet. He still has headaches one month after finishing it. "Yes, I bet my cousin Nathan that I coul...

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Man who voted Brexit still disappointed

Funny story: Man who voted Brexit still disappointed

Nathan Whotsit, from Chutney on the Fritz has said that he only voted for Brexit, so it would mean that his wife of 15 years could not put them through the horror of Eurovision, ever again. 'Imagine my surprise' said the incredulous man 'when I re...

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Please stop the Spice Girls reforming, says desperate man

Funny story: Please stop the Spice Girls reforming, says desperate man

The Spice Girls are to reform, but that does not fill one man with complete and unbridled joy. Mr Dennis, from Chutney on the Fritz said, 'When the Spice Girls were around the first time, I had a dreadful time of it. I was spotty, picked last for...

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Donald Trump’s Award for Clearest desk won by Ivan BeendoingNothing

Funny story: Donald Trump’s Award for Clearest desk won by Ivan BeendoingNothing

A man with a comedy Russian name has won Donald Trump's latest award, Cleanest Desk. This followed on from a picture on Twitter that showed Trump with a completely clear desk. The leader of the free world, and the champion of the under-represented...

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Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business

Funny story: Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business

Following the recent collapse of his Artisan Coat-Hanger making business successful business-man Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has started up his own Artisan paper-clip making business instead. 'Well, what i...

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Man starts artisan coat hanger business

Funny story: Man starts artisan coat hanger business

Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has launched his own artisan coat-hanging business. Heckingthump III told us, ‘From where I see it, a house overlooking the better part of the Thames, the times are just right f...

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How did that Priest become a Detective?

Funny story: How did that Priest become a Detective?

Idiot Wayne Badger, who famously bankrupted himself by buying a rare £200,000 Rolex rather than a house has asked how Father Dougal from factual documentary Father Ted is now a highly regarded, and charming detective in the documentary Death in Parad...

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The Jeremy Hunt Conundrum

Funny story: The Jeremy Hunt Conundrum

Have you worked for the same company for more time than you care to think about? Have you been moved from one department to another? Do you know your skill set? Do you have skills? Are you universally loathed for who you are and what you do? If...

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Man who spent £200,000 on a rare rolex realises he would have preferred a house

Funny story: Man who spent £200,000 on a rare rolex realises he would have preferred a house

Idiot Wayne Badger from Stow on the Wold instantly regretted spending more than £200,000 on a very rare Rolex watch, as he realised he would not be able to live in it. Teresa Badger, the idiots long suffering wife said 'Honestly, my Wayne, much a...

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Genius Donald Trump to re-film the whole of Star Wars, and playing every role

Funny story: Genius Donald Trump to re-film the whole of Star Wars, and playing every role

'If you strike me down, I will become more humble than you could ever imagine'. 'These aren't the presidential traits you are looking for' Donald Trump is to spend billions on re-filming all of the Star Wars Films, and playing all of the roles.

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Horse denies that Donald Trump is a Stable Genius

Funny story: Horse denies that Donald Trump is a Stable Genius

David Smith, a black horse with wonky teeth has denied that Donald Trump is a stable genius. Smith told us, 'Yes, the hay was all over the place, and because of his small hands, and bad back, Donald, or Donnie to his mates couldn't move it. He als...

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Jeremy Hunt spends weekend waiting in a corridor

Funny story: Jeremy Hunt spends weekend waiting in a corridor

Former Health, Education, Water-parks, Traffic Control and Stationary Secretary Jeremy Hunt has spent the weekend waiting in a corridor for news of his next appointment, Deputy Prime Minister and keeper of the Parliamentary pornography. Waiting fo...

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Breaking news…

Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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