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Man finds miracle weight loss cure

Funny story: Man finds miracle weight loss cure

A British man claims to have come up with a quick, easy, and surefire way to lose weight - and fast. The former lard-butt has lost five stone (70 lbs / 32 kg) over the past six months, and he did it by obeying two simple rules. As most fatsos a...

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Suspicious Package Closes Edinburgh Airport

Funny story: Suspicious Package Closes Edinburgh Airport

Security staff at Britain's fifth favourite airport have evacuated the complex following the discovery of a suspicious package. The closure occurred on Monday afternoon after staff were alerted to the package by concerned travellers. "It looked...

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Clarkson Makes US Chart History

Funny story: Clarkson Makes US Chart History

All round entertainer Jeremy Clarkson has made the highest entry on a debut single in the US charts. His single, Your Life Would Suck Without Me, entered the number one slot after it was downloaded by over a billion Americans. Clarkson, a long-...

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Down The Plughole - Economic Boom for Sewer People

Funny story: Down The Plughole - Economic Boom for Sewer People

It's crunch time on the surface, but for those who live underground it's a different story. Dick Turpin (no relation) has been living in his local sewer for six years. He moved in there one cold winter's evening after his bench was set alight by s...

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Baker in Bother over Air Biscuits

Funny story: Baker in Bother over Air Biscuits

A Baker from Stoke-on-Trent is in hot water this week after giving younger customers his 'tasty air biscuits'. Barry Baker, perhaps destined to work in the trade given his moniker, has been baking treats and delights for his local community for th...

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Wonkening Toothpaste Released

Funny story: Wonkening Toothpaste Released

A brand of toothpaste which blackens and de-straightens teeth has been released. The manufacturers say the new toothpaste has been in development for almost a year, and is being produced in response to growing demand from Americans, wishing to ble...

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Blind man eats pussy; tastes "fishy"

Funny story: Blind man eats pussy; tastes "fishy"

John sat down to last night to eat a sumptuous meal inspired by a TV cookery show. The chefs on the show had used poussin (a small chicken) as their main ingredient, but poor John, who is not only blind but also hard of hearing, misheard the ingre...

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Sarah Palin Nude Vagina Hotter than Britney Spears?

Funny story: Sarah Palin Nude Vagina Hotter than Britney Spears?

With the great furore over nude photos of Sarah Palin circulating the internet, the question on many peoples lips is, "Is Palin's vagina hotter than Britney's?" In an attempt to boost her flagging career, dizzy blonde Spears flashed her bits for t...

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Sunbed Cancer Link

Funny story: Sunbed Cancer Link

The majority of people who use sunbeds have an increased risk of developing lung cancer, it has been revealed. A straw poll, taken outside Tanyaz Tanz in Wigan, Lancashire, showed a whopping 100% of all people who visited the salon put out a cigar...

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Mugabe Has His Own Press Conference; Announces Win

Funny story: Mugabe Has His Own Press Conference; Announces Win

Following MDC Party President Morgan Tsvangirai's lead, Robert Mugabe called a press conference to announce his win in the Zimbabwean elections.

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NASA Hires Yoko Ono as Intergalactic Operator

Funny story: NASA Hires Yoko Ono as Intergalactic Operator

Following news that NASA will broadcast Beatles songs across the universe, renowned piss-artist, Yoko Ono, has stepped up to the fore to rally support for intergalactic communication.

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Anti-nuclear Lobby to be rehoused on Shetland Isles

Funny story: Anti-nuclear Lobby to be rehoused on Shetland Isles

Green, tree-hugging, pot smoking, and CO2 emitting hippies are to be relocated to the Shetlands, it has been announced. Following the UK government's plans to rely more heavily on nuclear energy, it has been decided to remove all anti-nuclear grou...

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General Election to be Decided by Wrestling

Funny story: General Election to be Decided by Wrestling

Whenever the UK's wimp prime minister pulls his finger out and decides he wants to lose an election, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has decreed that the premiership shall be decided in the wrestling ring. "There's not enough farking wrestling on t...

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Labour Rip Off Conservative Election Pledges

Funny story: Labour Rip Off Conservative Election Pledges

The Labour party has been accused of "ripping off" many of the Conservatives' election pledges, following the release of Alistair Darling's pre-budget report. Labour has suggested that the report will definitely give them the edge and allow them t...

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Brown Orders Postal Workers to Return to Work

Funny story: Brown Orders Postal Workers to Return to Work

Gordon Brown has today announced that he has ordered Royal Mail to end their worker's dispute, or to hire new staff.

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Diana Death Pics Driving People Wild!

Funny story: Diana Death Pics Driving People Wild!

Worldwide, thousands of morbid and sick individuals are desperate to see images of Diana in her final death throws, it has emerged.

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Police Recover Stolen Masterpiece

Scottish detectives have discovered a priceless artwork which was stolen from a French Chateaux, just outside the village of Nouvion.

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Disruption at Heathrow Protests

Funny story: Disruption at Heathrow Protests

It seems the bad weather which dogged the UK in July is continuing as torrential rain hits east London.

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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