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Western women wearing burka “through laziness”

Funny story: Western women wearing burka “through laziness”

It is an unlikely garment for a typical British woman to wear. After all, most Brits are non-religious and care little about modesty. Yet a growing number of white non-Muslim women are choosing to wear a burka, particularly at weekends when they don’...

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Infestation of Rees-Moggs to be fumigated

Funny story: Infestation of Rees-Moggs to be fumigated

The House of Commons is to be fumigated after a Rees-Mogg was discovered in the main chamber. Although only one of the insectoids was found, it is thought to be part of a breeding pair. Rees-Moggs are a member of the genus Privilegius Conservatus,...

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"Trump spends at least 30% of his day yelling the N word," says White House intern

Funny story: "Trump spends at least 30% of his day yelling the N word," says White House intern

He is well known for his closet racism, but it seems that Trump suffers from a severe psychological disorder - sometimes called negrophobia, but also known as TDRT. This magnifies the problem and causes uncontrollable outbursts of racism. Tiny Dic...

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Six o’clock news to be accompanied by laughter track

Funny story: Six o’clock news to be accompanied by laughter track

For years it has been a sensible, calm harbinger of events, an introduction to goings on in the world at the end of each workday. But now, say BBC executives, it has become stale and dull, like a mouldy piece of bread thrown into the gutter and ni...

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Boris Johnson makes his resignation speech

Funny story: Boris Johnson makes his resignation speech

After quitting the cabinet last week over the state of Brexit, Boris Johnson made his resignation speech to parliament today. Here is a transcript of what he said: "Hello, grubbledy mugwumps. I am fed up with our higgledy-arsed approach to Brexit,...

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Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer

The world of criminal investigation was cockahoop today after billionaire fish-faced eccentric Elon Musk revealed his latest invention. At a press conference, Musk wore one of his new prosthetic noses and was able to identify three members of the pre...

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Putin put out by trumpety Trump

Funny story: Putin put out by trumpety Trump

Vladimir Putin is said to be angry after Donald Trump revealed secret details about their meeting in Helsinki. The two world leaders met in a sauna near Malminkartanohiuppu Park, speaking through a Russian interpreter. Although no formal declarati...

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Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

Funny story: Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...

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Queen tells Trump to "sod orf"

Funny story: Queen tells Trump to "sod orf"

Today, the US president and first lady met with the Queen at Windsor Castle, where they had tea and crumpet. Having spent all week insulting and misunderstanding allies during his European visit to NATO and the UK, it was expected that Trump might...

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Brexiters' new tactics of mutilation and extortion

Funny story: Brexiters' new tactics of mutilation and extortion

In the current apocalyptic and grisly political landscape of the UK, Jacob Rees-Mogg has proven himself as deranged as any serial killer. Every day for the last week he has ordered one of his Brexiter minions to sacrifice himself/herself by resigning...

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Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Funny story: Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Straw-haired buffoon Boris Johnson has resigned from his job as UK Foreign Secretary, in protest at Brexit plans that he believes are "not outy enough". He bragged that although he achieved "bugger all" during his two years in the high-profile gov...

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Spoof writer writes spoof article about something insignificant

Funny story: Spoof writer writes spoof article about something insignificant

Arson Bobwang, a regular writer for The Spoof, has written his hundredth article for the well-disregarded satire site. It is a minimalistic tale entitled "Leaf Falls From Tree", and is about as funny as watching a real leaf fall from a real tree.

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Philip May reveals sitcom-like lifestyle

Philip May, first husband of the UK, has revealed details about his life in 10 Downing Street to men's lifestyle magazine Jockstrap. In the interview, he describes his life being married to Theresa May as "like being a hapless accident-prone characte...

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Phil Collins says that "Incels" like him should just have a big wank

Funny story: Phil Collins says that "Incels" like him should just have a big wank

Phil Collins is a 67 year old bald man best known for playing drums and sometimes yelping along. He is also an "Incel" or involuntarily celibate person, and he has a message for other Incels like him. "I never lost me virginity nor nuffing until I...

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Leprechaun abortion parties to end in Ireland

Funny story: Leprechaun abortion parties to end in Ireland

For many years, remote villages in Ireland have held a dark secret. It is illegal for a human doctor to perform an abortion, but there is no law against leprechauns carrying out the dangerous operation. Two or three times a year in each village, hidd...

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Flat Earth Society plan mission to Mars

Funny story: Flat Earth Society plan mission to Mars

The Flat Earth Society has grown in popularity in recent years, as the chronic underfunding of education starts to bite, and civilisation begins its inevitable decline back to the Stone Age. Prominent Flat Earthers include Kanye West, Jacob Rees-Mogg...

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UK government admits that "Brexit plan fag packet" is missing

Funny story: UK government admits that "Brexit plan fag packet" is missing

In an astonishing admission of incompetence and poor planning, Prime Minister Theresa May has revealed that the cigarette packet on which Brexit plans were written has been missing for nearly two years. The empty box of Marlboro Lights was probabl...

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Man caught HGV from a truck stop toilet

Funny story: Man caught HGV from a truck stop toilet

For many it is a disease that still carries a stigma. We can all remember television adverts from the 1980s reminding us about the dangers of HGV, to keep safe while trucking, and to always use a convoy. Geoff Stop, 37, is a trucker who now suffer...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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