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Republicans suggest genocide could reduce tooth decay

Funny story: Republicans suggest genocide could reduce tooth decay

Washington DC. The Republican Party have announced their policies for the coming year, and most of them are the same as ever - cut taxes, cut spending, give money to the rich. However, one new policy has raised eyebrows. It is based on recent...

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Book reveals Trump's abnormal presidential lifestyle

Funny story: Book reveals Trump's abnormal presidential lifestyle

It is the book the President did not want to have released. "Trump: What a fucking moron!" is available in bookshops and in word-form on the internet this week. It was written by a White House insider and dishes the dirt on all of the orange haired l...

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Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

Funny story: Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

The UK government has announced a bold new plan for the North of England. Instead of adapting to a post-industrial world, it is to be abandoned and left for weeds and trees to come back. Prime Minister Theresa May explained the decision at a press...

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Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"

Funny story: Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"

Britain is leaving the EU, but that doesn't mean for a minute that it is going to disappear. It is going to hang around the EU and hover over their conversations like a ghost. Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted as much when she said that she wou...

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Trump's Jerusalem victory will turn the tide in the war on Christmas

Funny story: Trump's Jerusalem victory will turn the tide in the war on Christmas

The war on Christmas is eternal, and will only be won when Jesus Christ himself returns and everyone in the world is dead. Today that glorious day came a step closer when Donald Trump effectively reclaimed Jerusalem as the capital of Christianity, pr...

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Brexit is a "biscuit game" to the Tories

Funny story: Brexit is a "biscuit game" to the Tories

The UK government consists of many ex-public school toffs, so it comes as little surprise to learn that foreign secretary Boris Johnson believes that the Brexit negotiations are like "a game of soggy biscuit". He explained further, "the people ba...

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Channel 5 launches "Inappropriate Films of the 70s" night

Funny story: Channel 5 launches "Inappropriate Films of the 70s" night

It's the decade that political correctness forgot - because it hadn't been born yet. Nevertheless the 70s were also a gentler time, when casual racism, sexism and homophobia were a part of every day life, and people enjoyed it. To celebrate the forti...

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Tabloid editors spreading Christmas rage

Funny story: Tabloid editors spreading Christmas rage

It is November, and as usual British tabloids are getting into the festive mood by searching the country for stories of people not celebrating Christmas properly. It is a yearly tradition to whip up readers into a frenzy of loathing, and will warm th...

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Fake news is fake news

Funny story: Fake news is fake news

For months now, world has been shocked by stories of fake news. People believe president is liar or idiot or Russia is bad country. Now news reports say fake news never existed. UK Government Leader Comrade May explain to press, "There no fake new...

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Ex-servicemen forget about Remembrance Sunday

Funny story: Ex-servicemen forget about Remembrance Sunday

It has long been reported that the numbers of ex-servicemen who attend Remembrance Sunday events are falling. Now it appears that many of them are simply forgetting to turn up. We asked some of them to try to understand why. Geoff De'ath, 81, of M...

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Reindeer castration ruins Christmas shopping display

Funny story: Reindeer castration ruins Christmas shopping display

There was a serious kerfuffle at a shopping centre in Bangor, Wales today, when a reindeer became entangled with a wheelchair and had to be surgically removed from it. The problem began at Santa's Grotto, a temporary shop full of cheap Christmas g...

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Unknown cook wins Chef of the Year award

Funny story: Unknown cook wins Chef of the Year award

A restaurant owner in Wales has won the prestigious Chef of the Year award for 2017. It is a trophy given by the International Food Tasters And Gluttons of Paris, and is highly regarded. The winner Geoff Fork, 46, of Swansea, was surprised at the res...

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Gay tarantulas' behaviour revealed

Funny story: Gay tarantulas' behaviour revealed

Most people have heard of gay penguins, but gay spiders? Professor Quentin Webb of the University of West Ingtime has spent years studying them and has published his astonishing findings. According to Professor Webb, homosexuality is rampant among...

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Worst pun headline award winners announced

Funny story: Worst pun headline award winners announced

Today the winners of the Worst Pun Headlines were announced. The prize is a new one, and will be given out annually by the editors of the Chaffinch St Cock Gazette, a weekly newspaper in Chaffinch St Cock. The winner will receive nothing except th...

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Elon Musk wants to watch people die on Mars

Funny story: Elon Musk wants to watch people die on Mars

To some, he is an eccentric billionaire inventor who dreams of colonising Mars, cartoon-style transport systems, and other futuristic enterprises. To others, he is simply an arsehole. Elon Musk has said previously that he would like to send a huma...

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EU is "what Hitler would have wanted"

Funny story: EU is "what Hitler would have wanted"

A group of EU leaders - the President of the European Commission, the Head of the European Council, and the Grand Poo-bah of Brussels - have released a statement in which they admit that Brexiters have been right all along and that the EU is just a p...

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Boy's dying wish unfulfilled

Funny story: Boy's dying wish unfulfilled

In a tragic misunderstanding, a dying autistic boy was granted a final wish - only for the organisation helping him to foul it up completely. Geoff Lucky, aged 9, of Coventry, suffers from cancer of the soul, and is expected to die any day now. Th...

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Muslim aliens confuse authorities

Funny story: Muslim aliens confuse authorities

A group of intergalactic aliens caused concern when they landed in the Western United States - not because they were from outer space, but because they were Muslims. California marijuana farmer Geoff Chong met the aliens when they landed in his ba...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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