Showing stories written by Backandtotheleft

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Funny story: May V Osborne

May V Osborne

Normally we at Back and to the Left news don't see eye to lizard peering soulless eye with George Osborne. Probably because we are fairly decent, if not a little drunk, people. And he is a weird creature wearing a suit of human skin that's been pulle...
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Funny story: Bacon Bits

Bacon Bits

Art lovers the world over were overjoyed today as a new painting by Francis Bacon was discovered. The painting had being down the back of a sofa in Sofia and was discovered by the cleaning lady, Sophie Sofia, in the early hours of yesterday morning.
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Funny story: Arsenal V Koln

Arsenal V Koln

Arsenal kicked off their UEFA Eu-Hopeless league campaign with a disastrous 3-1 home win against FC Koln. In a match that will be remembered for its intense crowd violence long after all the gutless players for Arsenal die from having no guts. An...
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Funny story: Arsenals Date Change

Arsenals Date Change

Arsenal football club are a team, nay a city, in crisis! The club which has only won three FA cups in four years is on the verge of collapsing because of its lack of recent success. The big question is how will Arsenal players cope with playing on a...
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Funny story: Emu Brexits!

Emu Brexits!

A large Emu has being spotted at large in woods near Cambridge and the discovery has Brexitiers up in arms! Woods, normally home to good strong British animals such as foxes and badgers, are becoming over saturated with foreign looking birds.
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Funny story: Taking The Wicket

Taking The Wicket

In the latest of many cricket related thefts Jimmy Anderson has taken his 500th test wicket. A cackling Anderson addressed waiting reporters from top of the stands at Lords. Like some sort of cricket phantom of the opera. "You'll never catch me"...
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Funny story: Jose's Mindset

Jose's Mindset

Who would have thought throwing £300million at a team would change them from a terrible one to a decent one? Well everyone except Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho who firmly believes the sun revolves around his giant ego. The only surprise now...
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Funny story: Philippes Fed Up

Philippes Fed Up

Back and to the Left news follows sport purely for the hyperbole. Especially the shrieking nonsense that follows every single decision at Arsenal football club, our favourite punch line. So in the spirit of all things fair we'll write a article ab...
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Funny story: Scotland's Qualifying Surge

Scotland's Qualifying Surge

Unrealistic expectations soared in throughout Scottish football as the national team (ranked below the Egyptian blind team) beat the mighty Malta 2-0. Despite having no chance to realistically qualify for this (or any other) international tournament...
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Funny story: Sunderland Spiteback

Sunderland Spiteback

In an astonishing response to Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson slating his city the Mayor of Sunderland has released this statement: "Let me start by saying Darren Gibson is a round chested, no class cunt who would injure himself wiping his ars...
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Funny story: Sunday Bloody Sunderland

Sunday Bloody Sunderland

Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson has confirmed what the rest of the world already knows: that Sunderland are shite. Darren, who himself is quite shite, was caught on camera slagging off everything he could about the team, the city, his neighbou...
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Funny story: Trumps Transgender Issues

Trumps Transgender Issues

The master of the art of sticking your foot in your mouth has done it again! Donald Trump, the leader of the free world, has decided that transgender people won't be allowed in the military. Luckily this decision may not be as bad for the transgen...
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Funny story: New Laws Have A Point (that will be pressed into your stomach)

New Laws Have A Point (that will be pressed into your stomach)

In an attempt to combat the relentless stream of mass shootings the God fearing state of Texas has decided that, from September, it will be perfectly legal to carry swords and knives openly on the street. We at Back and to the Left news hope that in...
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Funny story: Pre Season Permutations

Pre Season Permutations

Pre season for footballers is completely insane. Respected journalists lose their shit at hearing a drunk man at a bar saying Ronaldo is going to Juventus. People believe that players are moving clubs just because one of their social media team has l...
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Funny story: The State Of A State Visit

The State Of A State Visit

A US Presidential advisor has said that Donald trump intends to visit the UK "sometime in 2018", and that the change of plan had "nothing to do with" the giant wooden middle finger that was constructed in Birmingham to welcome his jet. Mr Trump wa...
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Funny story: Long Island Short Story

Long Island Short Story

A new Island has appeared off the coast of North Carolina in the US with all the grace of an oil tanker dressed as a ballerina auditioning for Swan Lake. Upon its appearance President Trump issued a decree to build a wall around the island. The I...
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Funny story: Strange Fathers Day Laws

Strange Fathers Day Laws

Today is a day every man dreads as today is Fathers Day. The only day in the year where kids you didn't even know you had, can turn up at your house and demand money. By law you must hand over said money with zero bitching. This is one of the many Fa...
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Funny story: Rooney In United Stand-off

Rooney In United Stand-off

International marketing firm and social media gurus, Manchester United, have dropped their biggest hint yet that England Captain Wayne Rooney will be leaving the club. United's record goal scored has spent time on the substitutes bench this season an...
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Showing page 2 (of 14 pages)
Breaking News...

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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