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Funny satire stories about cancer

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Paul McCartney and Rolling Stones to Pay for Breast Implant Replacements

Funny story: Paul McCartney and Rolling Stones to Pay for Breast Implant Replacements

In Parliament today, angry protestors pushed their way through security pulling a hose from a tanker truck filled with thousands of gallons of industrial silicone. The kind alledged to be in thousands of breast implants in thousands of women. The...

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Italians and Mimes Most Prone to Gesticular Cancer

Funny story: Italians and Mimes Most Prone to Gesticular Cancer

A newly published study in medical journal The Lancelot reveals that Italian males are 60% more likely to suffer from gesticular cancer than any other national group. The condition was also found to be more prevalent in regions with Italian immigrat...

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Robin Gibb to Release One Last Album

Funny story: Robin Gibb to Release One Last Album

Gibb suffering from the big 'C' talks candidly about his last album, life (or the impending end) and colostomy bags. Many people the world over are today the world over waiting for Rob to pop off; however he has agreed to give us what may well be his last interview. Talking of his latest album the 61 year old BeeGee said; 'I am determined to release one last happy singsong for my fans, ya kn...

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NHS consultants who can detect cancer a 'myth'

German researchers have moved to dispute recent suggestions the NHS had a raft of cancer consultants who could be reliably used to detect various forms of the disease, saying they were the childlike imaginings of people with a propensity for hallucin...

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Biting Nails Strongly Linked To Having Short Nails

Funny story: Biting Nails Strongly Linked To Having Short Nails

Medical studies by the Institute Of Stating The Obvious at Harvard University have discovered a shocking link between people with uneven, short finger nails and those that bite their nails. The team of students studied several people over a period...

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Brian Haw sets up 'anti-cancer' camp at Heaven's gates

Anti-war campaigner, Brian Haw, who died of cancer last Friday has reportedly set up an 'anti-cancer' camp at the 'Pearly Gates' and is refusing to move on until God removes cancer from his portfolio of ways to die. An apolplepletic St Peter is sa...

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Cancer-Causing Lightbulbs And Desk Jobs ... We're All Doomed!

Funny story: Cancer-Causing Lightbulbs And Desk Jobs ... We're All Doomed!

Desk-bound office workers working under the light of energy-efficient bulbs are in serious danger of developing cancer, scientists say. Spend more than a decade behind a desk and you're twice as likely to develop bowel cancer say researchers at th...

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Boozing is good for you if you don't want to know about cancer!

Funny story: Boozing is good for you if you don't want to know about cancer!

Scientists have discovered that the more you booze the more lightly you are to get cancer, not only; smoking, unhealthy eating, drinking fizzy sugary drinks a la coca cola, etc, filthy environments, too much sex, too little sex, too much oral sex, ma...

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Japanese Fish Cure Cancer.

Funny story: Japanese Fish Cure Cancer.

In the wake of the latest of Japan's daily earthquake --which on Thursday hit 7.2 on the Richter Scale-- the country's decimated fish industry has been granted new life, now that it has been discovered that Japan's irradiated fish actually cure cance...

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Scientists new study reveals we are all in danger if we eat packaged or canned goods, which can cause cancer, obesity and heart problems.

Funny story: Scientists new study reveals we are all in danger if we eat packaged or canned goods, which can cause cancer, obesity and heart problems.

Some Scientists have been studying the materials used in food and beverage packaging and have discovered some disturbing facts. Certain chemical additives used in the packaging of food and beverages, including plastics and cans, have been found to be substances which can be harmful to our health. Side effects can include, obesity, heart problems and even certain cancers, to name but a few.

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Mo'Nique Shaves Legs, Donates Result to Locks Of Love

Funny story: Mo'Nique Shaves Legs, Donates Result to Locks Of Love

When hirsute fatsack Mo'Nique brings her Academy Award in for it's weekly polishing and cake frosting removal, she'll be doing so weighing just a few pounds less: She's broken he 20-year pledge of fetid horribleness and shaved her legs. But it's n...

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Michael Douglas Is Cancer Free! But His Junk is Still Asleep

Funny story: Michael Douglas Is Cancer Free! But His Junk is Still Asleep

Michael Douglas, 66, claimed today that he has beaten his throat cancer and the related tumor has disappeared? The superstar actor, producer, writer and master skirt chaser appeared onThe Today Show with Matt Lauer to visit about his comeback from the deadly disease. The star looked healthy, tanned and not a day over 75 years old. Although he seemed happy that the cancer scare was apparentl...

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Adopt a Bollock

Funny story: Adopt a Bollock

Adopt a Bollock is a new recognized charitable organization which came into being when it was discovered that many men, with testicular cancer, were unable to raise the money to pay for treatment. Men diagnosed with testicular cancer, have their bollock or bollocks photographed and the photographs can be viewed on www.adoptabollock.come . You are free to chose whichever bollock you wish to spo...

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Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Hexavalent Chromium, Fa La La La La, La La La La.

Funny story: Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Hexavalent Chromium, Fa La La La La, La La La La.

A self-serving, 'I-told-you-so' report to be released just in time to brighten your Christmas morning states that 31 out of 35 cities whose drinking water was surveyed contains hexavalent chromium, a probable carcinogen that was made famous by Julia...

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Index finger length prostate cancer clue

Funny story: Index finger length prostate cancer clue

A British Journal of Cancer study has found men whose index finger is longer than their ring finger are more likely to poke themselves in the bum hole then men with shorter fingers. Men are well known for poking themselves in the bum hole in secre...

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Sir Catherine Zeta-Jones, CBE, Says Michael Douglas Near End Of Chemotherapy; Will Die This Month?

Funny story: Sir Catherine Zeta-Jones, CBE, Says Michael Douglas Near End Of Chemotherapy; Will Die This Month?

Sir Catherine Zeta-Jones, CBE, a Knight of the Round Table*, is waving goodbye to Michael Douglas' chemotherapy regimen, and his weather, old, flabby ass, as she marks the days when she can put that fossil in a pine box, probate his formidable Will,...

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Daily Mail: OK, we lied.

Funny story: Daily Mail: OK, we lied.

A massive first for the Daily Mail, who recently published an article which will cause more controversy than Justin Beiber. As it turns out, we're not going to die after all. Risks of cancer are totally fake. There will be no R2D2 virus. As it tur...

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Are Ads For "The Big C" A Sign Of The End of Civilization?

Funny story: Are Ads For "The Big C" A Sign Of The End of Civilization?

According to ads on each of the top 5000 English-language websites, on banner, pop-up and sidebar ads, there is only one show worth watching this week: The Big C. (Wanna bet there's one at the top of this page, right now?) And it seems like it'd be a wonderful romp; what with middle-aged but still kinda f'able Laura Linney lounging on a lawn, or a sandy beach, it must be a laugh-riot?...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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