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Funny story: Blair's speeches and books to be turned into toilet roll

Blair's speeches and books to be turned into toilet roll

Speeches and books by Tony Blair have to be turned into toilet roll and then it would at least serve some purpose. Japanese Scientists have invented a machine that turns A4 paper into toilet paper. The machine is six feet tall and weighs in at 94...
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Funny story: Glow-in-the-dark loo paper 'could replace bulbs'

Glow-in-the-dark loo paper 'could replace bulbs'

Cardiff - (Bum Rap): A Welsh company has been given a £454,000 grant from the Carbon Truss to develop new technology to make glow-in-the-dark toilet paper. The CEO of the Welsh Bot Wipe Corp said today that using an electrical current to stimulate...
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Funny story: Toiliet Paper Company Sued For Bogus Instructions On Package

Toiliet Paper Company Sued For Bogus Instructions On Package

The leading manufacturer of toilet paper (a.k.k. toilet tissue, butt wipe, or bumm fodder) in the United States, is being sued by a consumer for "pain and suffering" after following directions printed on the package. Irma Peepers of Tripoly, Wis...
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Funny story: Houses of Parliament in Toilet Roll Shortage Shocker!

Houses of Parliament in Toilet Roll Shortage Shocker!

In a blog written today, it has been disclosed that the Palace of Westminster came extremely close to running out of toilet paper. There were only two rolls left in the entire building left and it would mean that MPs would out to 'rough it out' and u...
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Funny story: 'Roll Tax' Proposal Slammed By Tories

'Roll Tax' Proposal Slammed By Tories

The new manifesto promise by Labour to add a tax of £1 on each toilet roll sold in the UK has been dismissed by David Cameron as, "taxing crap". The controversial measure announced by Gordon Brown earlier in the week was launched as a "flagship ma...
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Funny story: Light Relief

Light Relief

Tissue manufacturers are becoming increasingly concerned over the spread of a fungus apparently living off tissue paper which has been found in batches of tissues and toilet paper rolls across the globe. Once the fungus gets inside the pack of tissue it starts to make the tissue its home while travelling around the world for its customer. During this time it absorbs goodness in the tissue and i...
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Funny story: Ireland's 'Celtic Tiger Economy' Now in the Crapper: School Kids Told to Bring Own TP to Class!

Ireland's 'Celtic Tiger Economy' Now in the Crapper: School Kids Told to Bring Own TP to Class!

County Cork,Ireland/ Public School Hygienic News - The population of Ireland, riding on high economic times since the beginning of their self proclaimed "Celtic Tiger Economy" in 1995 peaking in 2007, are now faced with the reality that the boom da...
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Funny story: Butt Floss Patented for the Painfully Rotund

Butt Floss Patented for the Painfully Rotund

Struggling to identify new product offerings in the toilet tissue marketplace, Sharminn Company announced today that it will be releasing a new line of personal cleansing products for consumers of significantly wider girth. A common problem for mo...
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Funny story: Cuba's Ca Ca Crisis

Cuba's Ca Ca Crisis

HAVANA, CUBA Fidel Castro's little brother, Raul, has been forced to issue an executive order commanding all patriotic Cubans to refrain from defecating for the foreseeable future due to the total depletion of all available toilet paper supplies.
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Funny story: A Future without toilet paper

A Future without toilet paper

Recent studies suggest a future in which the use of absorbant rolls of disposable paper will no longer be required. For years, scientists have been developing new ways of making toilet paper more effecient at it's job but at the end of the day, i...
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Funny story: Iranian Protesters Toilet Paper Ahmadinejad's House

Iranian Protesters Toilet Paper Ahmadinejad's House

TEHRAN, Iran - Clips circulating on Reuters and Breitbart show several college-age Iranian protesters tossing around what appear to be rolls of toilet paper around the trees, fences, and roof of the estate of Iranian President Ahmadinejad. The I...
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Funny story: Inmates To Buy Own Toilet Paper

Inmates To Buy Own Toilet Paper

According to an AP Report, Inmates at the Des Moines County jail in Burlington may have to begin paying for toilet paper. The county is facing a more than $1.7 million deficit in this year's budget and the Board of Supervisors gave department hea...
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Funny story: Japanese Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Japanese Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in Japan have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. Japanese Government Directive 9753 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per p...
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Funny story: Irish Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Irish Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in the Republic of Ireland have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. EU Directive 2763 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per...
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Funny story: UK Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

UK Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in the United Kingdom have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. EU Directive 2763 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per perso...
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Funny story: U.S. Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

U.S. Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in the U.S. have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. U.S. Government Directive 4187 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per pe...
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Funny story: Darling "one big bad bank" will turn toxic asses to profits

Darling "one big bad bank" will turn toxic asses to profits

Darling told the FootzWootz Times, in response to Brown's statements about bank executives not wiping themselves properly today, that one "big bad bank" is needed. "We need to take all these bankers who can't wipe themselves properly and place the...
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Funny story: Brown urges banks to 'wipe themselves clean'

Brown urges banks to 'wipe themselves clean'

The prime minister has demanded that banks admit how many "toxic asses" they have on their sheets. Gordon Brown told the Footzwootz Times the banks had to "wipe themselves clean" of toxic asses so people could stand the smell of them again. He...
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Breaking News...

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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