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Funny story: Continued Failure To Vet Beef Supplies Would Result In Flogging A Dead Horse, Says Food Industry

Continued Failure To Vet Beef Supplies Would Result In Flogging A Dead Horse, Says Food Industry

Tesco, Findus, Aldi and other food suppliers named in the recent horsemeat revelations, today formed a consortium to try to re-establish confidence in their beef products, and to put the meat-contamination scandal behind them. 'We do not wish to b...
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver's recipes are less healthy than supermarket junk food!

Jamie Oliver's recipes are less healthy than supermarket junk food!

A survey has proven that beans on toast, pre-packed lasagne and supermarket ready meals in general are far healthier than Jamie Oliver's recipes in his best-seller cookbooks! The people who did the survey also went down to Joe's Trucker Cafe in Ba...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Buys Rob Pattinson A Bentley

Kristen Stewart Buys Rob Pattinson A Bentley

BEVERLY HILLS - Close friends of Twilight star Kristen Stewart have expressed concern and are very worried about her mental, physical, emotional, financial, and geographical state. Lacey "Frilly" Scoffingshaw, who has known K-Stew since their days...
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Funny story: Free food at your supermarket? Every little helps!

Free food at your supermarket? Every little helps!

In a bid to increase its profile, national supermarket chain Asburyco are going to allow those suffering under the cut backs to have free food in a soup kitchen / food parcel kind of arrangement. During daylight hours any participant can go to any...
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Funny story: Fate of Olympic Stadium decided - could Tesco be taking over?

Fate of Olympic Stadium decided - could Tesco be taking over?

In a dramatic move announced today a supermarket in partnership with TV personality Dale Winton, will be taking over the Olympic Stadium used in the recent London Olympics. The left side of the stadium will become one of the popular shops (open 7.
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Funny story: Paper receipts to be phased out by 2020

Paper receipts to be phased out by 2020

The familiar paper receipt that accompanies virtually ever physical store purchase is to be phased out by 2020 when it is expected that the last UK resident without an email address will have died of old age. The plan is, instead, to request an em...
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Funny story: Supermarkets admit to controlling inflation

Supermarkets admit to controlling inflation

The big four supermarkets have come clean and admitted that they, and not the government or the banks, are in control of Britain's inflation figures. "The prices that we charge in our shops," said Tess Coe, spokesperson for Tesbury's, "are the sin...
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Funny story: Love to Love You Baby!

Love to Love You Baby!

In a vain attempt to regain tens of thousands of lost customers and some of it's zero rating credibility after last years so-called, 'price blitz' which saw prices actually skyrocketing, Tesco Supermarkets plan to put 'love' back into the chain. T...
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Funny story: Food Is A Lie

Food Is A Lie

Multi-million pound companies have been accused of forging 'place of origin' labels to put on their produce to seem more upmarket. It has been discovered they invent whole countries just to avoid putting "made in Slough" on a packet of spam. Back and...
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Funny story: Supermarket Wars start World War 3

Supermarket Wars start World War 3

Tossco, Britain's biggest and dearest Supermarket chain (after Wotrose) has suffered a fall in its UK sales for the fourth consecutive quarter, despite a £500 million discounting campaign. The latter produced fantastic discounts averaging as much as...
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Funny story: 5 out of 7 women use supermarket own brand toilet paper

5 out of 7 women use supermarket own brand toilet paper

A new study has found that, far from the luxury lifestyle women puport to have, the ladies of today are more than happy to clear away their business with own-brand low-grade toilet roll. Out of all women asked in the survey 3 were happy to tell u...
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Funny story: "It's not really stealing is it?" - The Worrall Thompson shoplifting saga continues

"It's not really stealing is it?" - The Worrall Thompson shoplifting saga continues

Several celebrity friends of shamed TV chef Anthony Worrall Thompson have been fighting his corner. They told a packed press-conference that - "sneaking a few extra items out of the self checkout at a supermarket Isn't really theft" and "that we all...
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Funny story: BBC axe investigation into Jimmy Savile

BBC axe investigation into Jimmy Savile

The BBC have dropped plans Newsnight to investigate the private life of Jimmy Savile, just weeks after he died in October. The Daily Fail newspaper reports that the Beeb had planned to examine the claims that Saville regularly stole cheese from h...
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Funny story: Coastguard called to Dorking supermarket

Coastguard called to Dorking supermarket

The Surrey coastguard were called to the Tesbury's Supermarket in Dorking yesterday to rescue Ashley Darr, a local resident, trapped in the vegetable isle. "It was terrible," said Celia North, manager of the store. "There were hundreds of people j...
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Funny story: Dorking Checkout operator goes postal

Dorking Checkout operator goes postal

A checkout operator at Tesbury's on the High Street was arrested yesterday after "going postal" as her manager described it. It required four police officers to subdue Hilary Dale as she rampaged around the fresh produce section hurling fruit and...
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Funny story: Supermarket Wars start WW3!

Supermarket Wars start WW3!

Tossco, Britain's biggest and dearest Supermarket chain (after Wotrose) has suffered a fall in its UK sales for the fourth consecutive quarter, despite a £500 million discounting campaign. The latter produced fantastic discounts averaging as much...
View 'Supermarket Wars start WW3!'
Funny story: Brit supermarkets caught stealing in run up to Christmas!

Brit supermarkets caught stealing in run up to Christmas!

Several Brit supermarkets have been caught nicking from their punters by offering them "spoof" deals which are not quite what they seem. Many leading supermarket have been offering 1/2 price deals on many products leading up to the festive period...
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Funny story: First supermarket trolley for four kids rolled out across supermarkets

First supermarket trolley for four kids rolled out across supermarkets

A BOOM in multiple births has led to the first shopping trolley with four seats. The number of mums having twins rose to 12,000 last year, prompting supermarkets to trial the quad - with extra seats immediately behind the first - in Sandhurst, Berks.
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Showing page 2 (of 8 pages)
Breaking News...

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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