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Funny story: Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round-up: Day 9

Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round-up: Day 9

Today saw the finish of the Joe Perry v Stephen Maguire match - which I have tenuously linked to Jerry Maguire - as in Perry Maguire - geddit? No-one said writing a daily snooker blog would be easy. With foresight, I should have linked this match to yesterdays (Day 8) marriage proposal at the Crucible by Brian Wright to Lisa Dunks. "You had me at hello..." Theirs no Tom Cruise in the arena...
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Funny story: Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round-up: Day 8

Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round-up: Day 8

Stephen Hendry booked his place in the quarter-final by wrapping up his comprehensive victory over defending Champion John Higgins 13-4. He joins Neil Robertson in the Quarters. In the old days when the games finished early, Dennis Taylor would pop out and tell his 'WC1' joke. Or John Virgo would play a few trick shocks. Sometimes Willie Thorne would tell us where he got his hair cut. Today...
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Funny story: Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 7

Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 7

The draw for the second round includes a few science, film and musical references to keep us interested.. Higgins v Hendry. Perry v Maguire - Show Me The Money?? Jones v Higginson Carter v Trump Williams v O'Sullivan Gilbert v Robertson - (shouldn't it be Gilbert v Sullivan?) Day v Yupeng Stevens v Hawkins... The games are already underway and Robertson is the first man into the last...
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Funny story: Ross Kemps Nan World Snooker Round Up Day 6

Ross Kemps Nan World Snooker Round Up Day 6

Well as the first round nears completion, so far half of the sixteen seeds have been beaten. World number one Mark Selby became the record-equalling eighth seed to be eliminated after a heavy 10-3 defeat by Barry Hawkins. The jester from Leicester who reached the World final in 2007 wasn't laughing much at this result. Other seeds to bite the (chalk) dust are Great Scot Graeme Dott, Ste...
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Funny story: Ross Kemps Nan World Snooker Round Up Day 5

Ross Kemps Nan World Snooker Round Up Day 5

Mark Williams beat Liu Chuang 10-6 to set up a match with another former winner Ronnie O'Sullivan. The Welshman has never beaten Ronnie at the Crucible in three attempts. Williams was booed by the crowd for comments where he said he hates the Crucible and the tournament should move to China. Perhaps he really likes the food there? Speaking of food, Ali Carter beat Mark Davis 10-2 and will f...
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Funny story: Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 4

Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 4

The expected fireworks between Ronnie O'Sullivan and Peter Ebdon never materialized - perhaps Health & Safety sent them a memo? Ronnie won comfortably by 10-4 and could face Mark Williams in the next round. Also through is Andrew Higginson who beat Stephen Lee 10-6. Andrew Higginson is not from Finland, therefore he is not the son of John (or Alex) Higgins. Former champ Shaun Murphy w...
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Funny story: Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 3

Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round Up Day 3

They say the sign of a misspent youth is being a good snooker player. Well Belgian teen Luca Brecel must have grown up playing snooker using a stool to reach the table. He is the fifth seventeen year old in the history of the game to reach the Crucible - and he scored a century on his debut to celebrate - although it wasn't enough for him to beat Stephen Maguire, going down by 10-6 to the Scot.
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Funny story: Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round-up: Day 1

Ross Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round-up: Day 1

Hello people, it's me - Ross Kemp's Nan here with the daily round up of The World Snooker Championship from the Crucible in Sheffield. I hope your stocked up on tea and biscuits as the tournament rolls on for seventeen days! Whoa! Heaven for snooker fans! Day 1 sees five matches get under way - including defending champion John Higgins against Liang Wenbo from China. He's come a long way! Lo...
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Funny story: Worlds fastest snooker star will play worlds slowest in World Snooker Championship

Worlds fastest snooker star will play worlds slowest in World Snooker Championship

The worlds fastest snooker star will play the worlds slowest in the first round of the World Snooker Championship this saturday at the Crucible in Sheffield. Dutch Rocket Ronnie O'Hareman and Peter 'Tortoise' Elbow will cue off at 10am on Saturday...
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Funny story: Stephen Hendry disqualified from the World Snooker Championship

Stephen Hendry disqualified from the World Snooker Championship

Stephen Hendry has been disqualified from the World Snooker Championship, a popular snooker tournament held in the Crucible, after bringing a calculator into the arena. "Everybody knows that snooker is a maths based sport," said tournament organis...
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Funny story: Centenarian Man Fails In Snooker World Title Bid

Centenarian Man Fails In Snooker World Title Bid

Terry Spasm, a 102 year old man from the Little Divot area, has failed in his attempt to become World Snooker Champion after losing in the final of snooker's most prestigious event. Wrinkly bodied Mr. Spasm made his audacious attempt despite havin...
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Funny story: Steve Davis not Ginger

Steve Davis not Ginger

Snooker legend Steve Davis has sensationally revealed he dyes his hair ginger. The popular potter who won a lot of matches way back said 'I needed an angle. Ray Reardon looked like Dracula, Dennis Taylor had his comedy glasses and Alex Higgins wa...
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Funny story: Britain Bestrides the World - In Slacks

Britain Bestrides the World - In Slacks

The nation consoled itself today in the face of mounting sporting setbacks by proudly acknowledging the one area of sport where British dominance is unchecked. Recent evidence that the nations footballers, tennis players, rugby players, track athl...
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Funny story: Ted Lowe Obituary

Ted Lowe Obituary

There was a hush all around the Crucible before the Embassy World Snooker Championships Final this evening when it was announced that 90-year-old veteran commentator Ted Lowe had snuffed it. Lowe, who had been the BBC commentator at all major snoo...
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Funny story: Michaela Tabb - now there's a woman referee with balls of steel!

Michaela Tabb - now there's a woman referee with balls of steel!

The Crucible, Sheffield - (Pot Black): It's probably the nation's toughest male-dominated sport and Michaela Tabb is its undisputed queen. Her meteoric rise from women's eight-ball pool champ to refereeing the 2009 World Snooker Championship final...
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Funny story: Snooker Stars? Come Off It, Says Expert

Snooker Stars? Come Off It, Says Expert

Claims that two newly-discovered stars resemble a game of snooker have been rubbished by an expert on the game of the green beize. Astro-boffins at Warwick and Sheffield Universities were instrumental in spotting the system in which a red dwarf a...
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Funny story: Ad Memorium Alex Higgins. The Alex Higgins Trust

Ad Memorium Alex Higgins. The Alex Higgins Trust

He wanted to make a difference and and a difference he certainly made. Then he got drunk and head-butted a ref. The star of Snooker who only recently surely died has been remembered by the formation of the Alex Higgins Trust, a charity that suppo...
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Funny story: Snooker: World's Dullest Sport

Snooker: World's Dullest Sport

On the day when Ronnie O'Sullivan hit his tenth maximum 147 break, the game of Snooker has officially been voted as the most boring spectator sport in the world. This announcement comes just days after former World Champion Steve Davis was nominated...
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Showing page 2 (of 4 pages)
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Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Bill O'Reilly to Form Club

It'll be a branch of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.
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