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Sturgeon's botched sex-change op has astounding revelations for Scottish politics

Our intrepid Weeki Leeks reporter had triumphed again with the following revelations. Thirty something years ago a young Scottish person named Nicholas Sturgeon had a sex change operation performed by Dr Herman Clitterman in his clandestine surgery...

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Six foot snow drifts in Scotland yesterday as school janitor goes missing looking for missing pupil

Funny story: Six foot snow drifts in Scotland yesterday as school janitor goes missing looking for missing pupil

It's March 2015 and snow has been falling over the north west of Scotland for over 48 hours hours now. Reports of drifts of six feet have been reported in high exposed areas and none so bad as the Isle of Siel, just south of Oban. It was just yest...

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Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice

Funny story: Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice

Scottish business tycoon Ralph Tweedie attempt to buy Scotland's largest bank for a pound and to relocate its entire operation to Iceland has now finally been put to rest. The idea was born out of the fear that Scotland would become independent and...

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General Election Red Herring: Piers Morgan Wins Alex Salmond Nationalism Award

Piers Morgan is not only one of the UK's most lovable and highly respected journalists; he has now been given an award from Alex Salmond for his sterling contributions to the Scottish Nationalist cause. Salmond groans: "Personally, when I say...

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Foul Porridge Flavour 2015 Competition Winner

In a dramatic finish, broadcast live on STV, a concoction of coarse oatmeal and mashed swede was awarded first prize in the Foul Porridge Of The Year 2015 Competition by the panel of Master Cook. The vile Scottish dish, submitted by food chemist a...

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Giant Meteorite may indicate 'Scots' settlers on Mars

A much documented Meteorite's course towards Earth ,may evidence Scottish Life on Mars or even Uranus. 'Scots have roots everywhere, including Outer Space', says Professor Hamish McFleming, Edinburgh. 'Yes, one could argue the Meteorite is Mart...

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Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Funny story: Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Stopping short of total surrender, the treaty signed by pro Scottish Independence clan chiefs after the referendum defeat included a clause dealing with the decommissioning of bagpipes and the handing over of them to dangerous musical instrument dum...

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Shetland Islands Vote to Secede from Scotland and Join Norway

Funny story: Shetland Islands Vote to Secede from Scotland and Join Norway

Shetland MainlandTired of being "held down" by Scotland all these years, the Shetland Islands will vote on whether they will quit Scotland and join Norway. When Scotland had their vote about quitting England, it made us think about it. We sent a f...

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New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...

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England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Funny story: England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes. "I am told the family is especially war...

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Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...

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Ryder Cup Congratulations

Funny story: Ryder Cup Congratulations

Congratulations to the European team for winning the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles, Scotland. Yeah, right! The top players from several European nations played against the United States. Sure. As though the European countries didn't already outnumber the United States, the Scots must have had the golf course hot-wired for their European team. When you see a golf ball headed for the cow past...

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Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Funny story: Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Referendum exit poll results have revealed that most Scots only realised that they were part of the U.K. when they read the referendum question. Traumatised voters were yesterday reported to be queuing up in their thousands for post traumatic str...

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Weather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway

Funny story: Weather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway

Weather forecaster Eli Kari Gjengedali broke a world record for the longest forecast by riding atop a tornado which swirled from Atla, through Harstad where the tornado built up strength. It then carried her through Bodø, down through Saltfjellet-Sv...

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Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

Funny story: Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the 'Yes' vote on independe...

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Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Funny story: Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Latest opinion polls put the voting in Scotland at 50-50 and a dead heat is on the cards. Our Spoof man in Scotland Jamus McWiley has asked Alex Salmon, the Scottish Chief what he will do about this. 'We shall have a recount' he said 'and if the v...

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Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...

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Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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