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My week as a woman - day five

Funny story: My week as a woman - day five

I had a startling choice on the fifth day of my forfeit. Having eaten more chillies than me, and completed a one thousand piece jigsaw faster, my wife had decided to teach me the meaning of female pain by exposing it to me for an entire week. When I awoke on the Wednesday to the sound of my alarm going off at ridiculous o'clock, I remembered that I had to go into the office. My wife had told me...

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Eating your desk at lunch-time is 'a health hazard'

Funny story: Eating your desk at lunch-time is 'a health hazard'

More sedentary workers are eating their desks during their lunch-hour instead of going out to a café or furniture shop. Some just nibble at desk-top corners, but many have been seen biting big chunks off. Office workers are making themselves more...

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The Lift: An Everyday Story Of Office Folk.

Funny story: The Lift: An Everyday Story Of Office Folk.

To: Allstaff From: Reception. 13:15 14/05/11 Sorry to report that the lift is not workin today. If you are expectin any visitors please come to receptionto meet them and not leave them to find their way to your offices by theirselves. Anyone goin for a drink after work? Its happy hour on fridays at the Duke. Laura in reception. xxx To: Laura Twist From: MD office 13:17 14/05/11...

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Office Intersection to Sell Mace and Ninja Weapons

Funny story: Office Intersection to Sell Mace and Ninja Weapons

Office Intersection, a major big box office supply retailer, announced this week that they will begin selling mace due to the increase in popularity of using the spray to settling arguments, get the toy you want, or if you just don't like the way som...

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Husband complains about my male colleague

Funny story: Husband complains about my male colleague

Dear Bonnie Contention, I work in an office with mostly men and have become really friendly with one guy in particular. We just hit it off straight away and share loads of interests. We have a laugh, too, and our sense of humour is very similar. Although my husband's never met him he's always niggling at me jealously. He's even threatened to come round to the office and 'have it out'.

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Office Survival Tips

OFFICE SURVIVAL TIPS 1: No matter how much the printer might frustrate you, do not yell at it. It can't hear you. 2: Just because you don't like doing it, doesn't mean it's not part of your job. 3: If you're not sure what someone is saying when they're talking, it's probably best not to try to correct them on anything they just said. 4: If you're tired and a coworker says, "Here, t...

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Cancer-Causing Lightbulbs And Desk Jobs ... We're All Doomed!

Funny story: Cancer-Causing Lightbulbs And Desk Jobs ... We're All Doomed!

Desk-bound office workers working under the light of energy-efficient bulbs are in serious danger of developing cancer, scientists say. Spend more than a decade behind a desk and you're twice as likely to develop bowel cancer say researchers at th...

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It's No Sexcuse, Say Bosses!

Funny story: It's No Sexcuse, Say Bosses!

We've always known that a bit of the old hows-your-father in the morning perks up the working day, but now it's official! A group of doctors have found that a quickie before you catch the number 29 bus 'puts a glow on your face' and - it seems - boos...

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This is my life! Not A bloody buggering Ricky Gervais comedy screams office boss Claire Fullbright

Funny story: This is my life! Not A bloody buggering Ricky Gervais comedy screams office boss Claire Fullbright

Human Relations Occasionally magazine reporters today revealed that former office supervisor Claire Fullbright has been sectioned under the 'Not Quite Playing With A Full Deck' act after she cracked up at the offices of Hammer And Tongs in Kiddermins...

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Steve and Zoe have an argument - Steve asks Mike to swap desks - Claire uncertain about political correctness & H&S

Funny story: Steve and Zoe have an argument - Steve asks Mike to swap desks - Claire uncertain about political correctness & H&S

An object lesson in how not to supervise an office surfaced yesterday when Steve and Zoe, of hardware company, Hammer And Tongs of Kidderminster announced that they'd had a domestic following a night out at Deano's Bar And Grill (Where according to T...

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Mike and Gina swap with Steve and Zoe whilst Charles looks on.

Funny story: Mike and Gina swap with Steve and Zoe whilst Charles looks on.

Dramatic developments reported from the offices of hardware company Hammer And Tongs in Kidderminster - Mike and Gina swapped desks with Steve and Zoe whilst a bewildered Charles could only look on in blissful ignorance. A source said that Mike an...

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Man Rushes Into Office Killing Many

Funny story: Man Rushes Into Office Killing Many

Moe Darcher, age 27 and a Call Of Duty fanatic stormed into a small office building down the street from his upstate New York house. He had an Ak-47, two desert eagles, and two grenades. He killed everyone he saw, and the total number of bodies found...

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New Health Initiative for Office Workers

Funny story: New Health Initiative for Office Workers

A new item of legislation is to be passed under the existing 'Health and Safety at work' suite of laws. Following several health studies undertaken between April 2007 and October 2009, it is evident that many office workers continue to experience...

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Red Staplers Found to Cause Office Apathy

Funny story: Red Staplers Found to Cause Office Apathy

Made famous from the original motion picture, Office Space, the infamous Swinglyne red stapler is back in the news, identified as a root cause of poor performance and general indifference for the office worker who owns the paper-to-paper attachment d...

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Study: Erections Cause Stupidity In Office Workers

Funny story: Study: Erections Cause Stupidity In Office Workers

A new study coming out tomorrow in the New York Constitution will show that male office workers have a hard time with erections. "Our study shows that a newly hired sexy lady placed only one full day in an office causes male productivity to go dow...

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Christmas office party ban could cost the UK plenty

Funny story: Christmas office party ban could cost the UK plenty

With the recession still ringing in the ears of many UK companies, some are taking drastic action to reduce costs. Worse than making people redundant; office Christmas parties are being cancelled. This has left many office workers with a problem;...

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HR Director slowly losing it

Funny story: HR Director slowly losing it

Lincoln, Nebraska - At L&N Collections Services facility for the Midwest Region, Janet Olsen has spent the past 47 days in her nine plus year career dwelling upon how satisfying it would be to kill her fellow workers. News of her upcoming 10th an...

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Great lines from actual job evaluations

1. I would not allow this employee to breed. 2. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be. 3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 4. When she stops to open her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there. 5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. 6. Thi...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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