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Funny story: Chris Matthews: The Unauthorized Biography

Chris Matthews: The Unauthorized Biography

To show that he believed in "giving back" even before he had anything to give back, MSNBC's Chris Matthews went to Africa as a recent college graduate to serve on the Peace Corps. Then, to avoid work, he got on the public dole immediately upon his return stateside, working as an aide in the U. S. Senate. Because he had a way with words, if not with women, Matthews became a speechwriter, scripting...
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Funny story: Newspapers print one issue for next 2 years

Newspapers print one issue for next 2 years

To reduce costs, newspapers are going to print just one issue for the next 2 years.  They will review it weekly and update some names as appropriate.  "We realize that the stories are the same every day. Therefore, we don't need to be paying write...
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Funny story: Gateshead Couple Fall on Hard Times

Gateshead Couple Fall on Hard Times

A middle-aged couple are recovering in hospital after a freak accident on their local high street. George and Florence Sellers tripped over a tightly bound parcel of newspapers which had been left for them outside their newsagents shop. They fell...
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Funny story: Irish Newspaper Goes One Better In Topless Royal Scandal

Irish Newspaper Goes One Better In Topless Royal Scandal

Not to be outdone in the media frenzy surrounding the recent exposure of the Duchess of Cambridge's modest breasts, the Irish tabloid, The Sunday Gobshite, has printed rather unflattering photos of another senior member of the British Royal Family.
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Funny story: Newspaper rapped for releasing Radio DJ's intimate Tupperware secrets

Newspaper rapped for releasing Radio DJ's intimate Tupperware secrets

The Press Complaints Commission upheld a complaint made by turbulent war monger, and BBC Radio 2 novelty act Jeremy Vine. In July 2010, Belfast-based "The Exeter Nibble" published allegations that Sir Vine partook in reckless activities with Tuppe...
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Funny story: Elderly man is getting close to locating Syria on Google Maps

Elderly man is getting close to locating Syria on Google Maps

HARFOLD, Vt. - Benjamin Waters, 83, is so sick and tired of hearing and reading about Syria in the news every fucking day that he's getting really close to actually finding out where it is. "I keep telling myself, 'Who gives a crap?'" Waters said,...
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Funny story: What can we expect in the Newspapers in 2062!

What can we expect in the Newspapers in 2062!

What can we expect from the Newspapers (if there are any trees left by then) in 2062? If prices go up at the same rate as they have done for the last 50 years?..... Adverts in 2062: Cameron-Clegg Almalgamated Food Mega-Stores (Originally Tesco & Sainsbury's util William Hague bought them out and gave the company to Cameron and Clegg as a Christmas present in 2045) This weeks offer...
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Funny story: 73-Year-Old Newspaper Editor Dies After Sex With 22-Year-Old

73-Year-Old Newspaper Editor Dies After Sex With 22-Year-Old

The editor of the Oregonian Organ's Editorial Pages for many years has died of cardiac arrest following having sex with a young lady he has apparently been helping through college for some time now. The young lady told police officers that Dwight...
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Funny story: Irish Post Nipple Count Set To Rise Under New Editor

Irish Post Nipple Count Set To Rise Under New Editor

UK Irish newspaper the Irish Post is set for a startling overhaul following the appointment of a new editor. Murray Morse is the new man at the helm of the popular weekly, which provides news from home and abroad for the Irish community in the UK.
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Funny story: Murdoch announces young, cutting edge replacement for The Sun

Murdoch announces young, cutting edge replacement for The Sun

In a move that has surprised many, Rupert Murdoch has announced a new venture that aims to replace the current Sun newspaper team with an emerging tabloid written exclusively by the under-5 age group. The move is said to be fuelled by a discovery...
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Funny story: Queen Mother Insult Ignites UK Irish Press Row

Queen Mother Insult Ignites UK Irish Press Row

The editor of one of the UK's weekly Irish community newspapers stunned readers this week by telling a correspondent, essentially, to belt up. A reader of the Irish Post, Anne Leacy, took exception to an article in the February 4 edition which ref...
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Funny story: Natasha Giggs Reunited With newspaper front pages

Natasha Giggs Reunited With newspaper front pages

Natasha Giggs has been snapped smooching a newspaper, as the floozy attempt to repair her love affair with the front page. The Celebrity Big Brother babe caused one of the biggest scandals of 2011 when it was revealed she had an eight-year affair...
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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 14th Jan 2012 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 14th Jan 2012 - with comments

7th Jan 2012: 22 year-old Burglar Sentenced for 42 break-ins Category: Crime 'This is Nottingham' Damian Foster (22) from Bulwell, has been found guilty of 42 house burglaries, 39 of them on pensioners homes in the Bulwell and Basford areas of Nottingham. Defence Council Tarquin Churchman asked for leniency for Foster, pointing out he had been raised by a single parent, and was hoping to fin...
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Funny story: Daily Mail Headline: "Is This Cher Lloyd's Engagement Ring?" Wins Inaugural Piffle Prize

Daily Mail Headline: "Is This Cher Lloyd's Engagement Ring?" Wins Inaugural Piffle Prize

When it comes to meaningless headlines and insubstantial non-news stories, the British tabloid press are unsurpassed, as The DM proved today by asking the question referred to in the headline of this article. Indeed, the Mail came out on top of to...
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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 24 Dec 2011 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 24 Dec 2011 - with comments

19 Dec 2011: Nottingham Police launch a crackdown after increase in burglaries Category: Crime 'Nottingham Evening Post' Police have launched a crackdown on burglaries after a rise in offences in Nottingham. In October, Home Office National statistics from June 2010 to June 2011 showed that the number of burglaries had fallen. They fell by 32% or nearly 3,000 fewer victims. But in October...
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Funny story: Lack Of News Shocks Newspaper Bosses

Lack Of News Shocks Newspaper Bosses

Newspaper bosses were left shocked today when absolutely no news occurred anywhere in the world. It is believed to be the least newsworthy day since the 12th of April 2811 BC, which saw just a single news report - a Stonehenge builder accidentally dr...
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Funny story: The Sun to print THE TRUTH!

The Sun to print THE TRUTH!

The Sun newspaper is finally ready to start printing true news stories after years of making things up. "We've decided to take a new line on reporting and start telling the truth. It's early days yet and we'll have to see how our readers feel abou...
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Funny story: Johann Hari-kari: A Personal Aploogy

Johann Hari-kari: A Personal Aploogy

I've ritten so many articles over the years laying bare and polemicising against the errors and idiocies of other people. This time, I am writhing an article spreading myself bare [Eh? Ed.] and pomelicising against the errors and idiocies of myslef. If you give it, you have to take it. Like a man. Or not. If you demand high standards of others, you have to come down with a heavy hand, whip or pref...
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Breaking News...

Alabama's New State Motto

After Tuesday Alabama's state motto, Audemus jura nostra defendere ("We dare defend our rights"), will most likely be changed to Audemus pedophilium nostra defendere ("We dare defend our pedophiles").
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