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Secret Celebrity Marriages Revealed

Funny story: Secret Celebrity Marriages Revealed

They managed to keep their nuptials secret for years, even decades, but today, thanks to the opening of public records to the internet generation, Paxton Quigley is able to reveal the odd couple marriages the celebrities didn't want you to know about. Here is a selection of the best and the worst. Michael and Glenda Jackson. Who would have thought it? The piebald plastic child molester "Ki...

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Sorry Ladies, Charles Manson Is About to be Taken Off the Market

Funny story: Sorry Ladies, Charles Manson Is About to be Taken Off the Market

CORCORAN, CA - In case you haven't heard, Charles Manson is about to get married. That's right, single ladies, if you liked him then you should've put a ring on it. Now, all the Monday morning quarterbacking starts on 'what could have been' for...

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My Husband Is Not Having An Affair - Is This Normal?

Funny story: My Husband Is Not Having An Affair - Is This Normal?

Auntie Jean I recently found evidence of what I think is fidelity on my husband's mobile phone. On scanning down the numbers and call logs, there were clearly no suspicious or unknown call records, texts or contact numbers. My friends at the sewing circle have advised me to take steps to try to end this intolerable situation amicably, but I want a good old fashioned fight to bring it all out in...

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The Church and Same Sex Marriage

If the lord would make the miracle of 'Immaculate Conception' available to lesbian couples they would no longer need to locate an adult novelty store to consummate their marriage. This should make the church quite happy. Gay couples can consummate quite easily, but would still need to adopt because even the lord can't make the sun shine everywhere. Is human canine next? A lot of folks really d...

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All Married Men Have Less Sex Than All Married Men

Funny story: All Married Men Have Less Sex Than All Married Men

Blue Balls, WI - A group of researchers comprised of the best minds in modern physics have directly proved part of Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity as it applies to human existence. The experiment and associated findings are focused on married...

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A New Mobile App for the Wives of Husbands with Wandering Eyes

Funny story: A New Mobile App for the Wives of Husbands with Wandering Eyes

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." KJV Matthew 5:28 Jesus knew it. Wives know it too. A man whose eyes are constantly wandering will often wander, s...

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Man requests girlfriend to accept his marriage proposal again "with more enthusiasm"

Funny story: Man requests girlfriend to accept his marriage proposal again "with more enthusiasm"

London - Personal Trainer Randy Offington demanded his girlfriend Suzanna Mills agree to marry with him with "more enthusiasm" this morning. Mr Offington had gone to great lengths to make the proposal special by taking her to a park where the two ha...

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Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Funny story: Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Lima, Peru - In what promises to be a future Disney love-story movie, murderer and all around bad guy Joran van der Sloot married a psychotic chick this week in prison, where he met and impregnated the brainless female. Van der Sloot, who gained n...

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Women Live Longer Than Men Because They Aren't Married To Women

Studies show in a deep part of missouri that indeed, women do in fact live longer than men because they aren't married to women. Donald Trump says he "isn't really surprised" by the news. A local bystander by the name of 'Dick Trickle' says "he f...

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Florida Man Kicked From Bed After Dorito Eating Incident

Funny story: Florida Man Kicked From Bed After Dorito Eating Incident

A Florida man was forcibly ejected from his bed late last night after opening a bag of Doritos thinking his wife was sleeping. "She caught me munching the snack and told me that it was the 'final straw' and she was sick of waking up finding crumbs...

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Angelina Jolie Devastated as Brad Pitt Talks of Leaving Her

Funny story: Angelina Jolie Devastated as Brad Pitt Talks of Leaving Her

NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie's hair stylist has said that the actress who stole Brad Pitt away from his wife Jennifer Aniston is extremely depressed and devastated. Jolie has just learned that Brad is seriously considering leaving her. It has be...

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28-Year-Old Marriage Breaks Up Over Karaoke Night

Funny story: 28-Year-Old Marriage Breaks Up Over Karaoke Night

This was to be a busy weekend for a local couple, Kenneth and Carole Moleturd were supposed to celebrate 28 years of marriage but it just might not happen as they are still fighting over having a small get-together with friends at a local bar. Car...

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Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

Funny story: Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

A fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," unveiled in 2012, shows no evidence of being a modern forgery, as some critics had charged, according to an article published in the Harvard Theological Review. The con...

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Lindsay Lohan Admits She Would Love To Marry Samantha Ronson

HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan says that she is starting to get the feeling that she may never marry. The 27-year-old actress who finally got her act together after a three month stay at a rehab clinic last summer recently spoke to Taffeta Kixx with Th...

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Putin imposes "Prima Nocte" law on all Crimean Brides

Funny story: Putin imposes "Prima Nocte" law on all Crimean Brides

Russia stretched its political muscles over the newly-occupied area of Crimea today, with Russian leader Vladimir Putin creating a new law of "Prima Nocte" in the area. The law was popular during medieval times and allows all Russian tourists the ri...

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Michigan Explains Why It Will Now Allow Same-Sex Marriages

Funny story: Michigan Explains Why It Will Now Allow Same-Sex Marriages

ANN ARBOR, Michigan - The state of Michigan has just announced that it will now allow same sex couples [i.e. a guy and a guy or a gal and a gal] to enter into holy matrimony. The state's thousands of same-sexers cheered so loudly that people livin...

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David Letterman Reveals Who He Would Marry If He Was Single

Funny story: David Letterman Reveals Who He Would Marry If He Was Single

NEW YORK CITY - The host of Late Night With David Letterman is afraid that he may have said a little more than he should of the other evening. Letterman was being interviewed by Macadamia Honeysuckle with The LaLaLand Daily when she suddenly asked...

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Pope Francis Says He'll Allow Same-Sex Marriages But Only If The Couple Donates $1,000 To The Church

Funny story: Pope Francis Says He'll Allow Same-Sex Marriages But Only If The Couple Donates $1,000 To The Church

VATICAN CITY - Italy's El Vino News Agency is reporting that Pope Francis in an effort to reach a type of middle ground has made a new ruling on the same-sex marriage controversy. The pope speaking in the parking lot of a local Pompous Pizza Parlo...

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Breaking news…

Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group

Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.
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