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Funny story: Literary World Stunned By Claims That Thousands Of English Words Have Gone Missing

Literary World Stunned By Claims That Thousands Of English Words Have Gone Missing

The world of literature has been stunned by allegations that massive numbers of words have simply gone missing from the English language. 'In the 1960s we believe there to have been at least one million English words,' said a spokesman for the Queen's English Society. 'Dictionaries that are currently available, however, list just a few hundred. It would appear that words may have been systemati...
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Funny story: The Word "Fart" to be Replaced by "Brraaaap"

The Word "Fart" to be Replaced by "Brraaaap"

After having been in popular use for more than 250 years, the word fart will soon be replaced by brraaaap. Dr. Bunny Glaze, speaking from the annual convention of the World Gastroenterologists' Union, said support for brraaaap by the doctors' group...
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Funny story: #@%&#! Will No Longer Be Used To Represent Swear Words

#@%&#! Will No Longer Be Used To Represent Swear Words

Cartoonists and others who for decades have used "#@%&#!" to represent curse words are outraged by a plan to cease using the symbols. Beginning July 1st, #@%&#! will be replaced by "<>?{}!," said Lunabird Fistermacher of the US Departm...
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Funny story: Study Reveals "Conversate" Is Not A Word

Study Reveals "Conversate" Is Not A Word

ATLANTA, GA- After a long, six month research period it was discovered that conversate is not a word. This study comes from 40 year old, Geoffrey Bentine, who while in a conversation with a friend said, "Can we conversate later?" In turn his frie...
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Funny story: Steve McClaren Sacked Over Language Barrier

Steve McClaren Sacked Over Language Barrier

Former England manager Steve McClaren has left his role as coach of the Dutch club FC Twente the day after holding talks with chairman Joop Munsterman over what the latter called 'language difficulties'. Munsterman said: "We can't understand hi...
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Funny story: It Actually Isn't What It Is

It Actually Isn't What It Is

Linguistic experts say the phrase, "It is what it is," is incorrect, and in reality, it isn't what it is. "At one time it might have been what it is, or was, but it isn't anymore," said American Linguistic Association spokesman Binder Porkmann.
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Funny story: Two communications professors trade over whether or not "friggin'" is a real word

Two communications professors trade over whether or not "friggin'" is a real word

Two college professors had to be forcibly separated by students after they got into a fistfight over whether or not the term "friggin'" is a real word. 64 year-old Professor Wilkie Hyennisfield admitted to police that he threw the first punch.
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Funny story: Holby City To Blame For New Disease

Holby City To Blame For New Disease

Scientists and hospital staff are baffled this evening as Hugo Mountbatten, 41 from Wigan, continues to talk in overly complex medical jargon after prolonged contact with the BBC medical drama series 'Holby City'. The bar owner, from the Pemberton...
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Funny story: Like, literally awesome

Like, literally awesome

The campaign for plain English has outlawed the use of "literally" and "like" as used by Will.I.Am. He was made to recite and memorise this poem. "Like, literally awesome" by Rob Barratt It was literally awesome Some awe was in place I was literally gobsmacked I got punched in the face I was literally spaced out Floating round the room I was literally flying I was, like, over the mo...
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Funny story: English Professor Threatens BBC Over "Them"

English Professor Threatens BBC Over "Them"

Professor Finn L. Straw is threatening to blow up one of the BBC's broadcasting masts if his demands are not met. The drama began last night as this publication went to press. His protest concerns the use of the word "them" instead of "those" and the...
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Funny story: Spelling Bee Winner prepares for life of ridicule

Spelling Bee Winner prepares for life of ridicule

NATIONAL HARBOR, Md.- Snigdha Nandipati a 14-year-old of San Diego won the 85th Scripps National Spelling Bee on Thursday night when she correctly spelled the word "guetapens," which means a trap or ambush. Although Nandipati took home a $35,000...
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Funny story: Researchers Find Shorter Titles And Sentences In Articles Are More Likely To Be Read Than If One Tries To Put Too Much Before Readers All At Once, 9 Times Out Of 10

Researchers Find Shorter Titles And Sentences In Articles Are More Likely To Be Read Than If One Tries To Put Too Much Before Readers All At Once, 9 Times Out Of 10

Cambridge, U.K. - Researchers at Cambridge University have found that, when constructing titles for online publications, doesn't matter what type or genre they are, just online ones, nothing specific, are more likely to be read by the vast majority of people, i.e. the audience, readers, those lumps of organic material staring blindly into cyberspace , hoping to be awaken by some thunderbolt of int...
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Funny story: English Language To Receive Overhaul

English Language To Receive Overhaul

The English language is to receive a massive overhaul in 2013, say experts from the Guild Of Dictionary Writers. Spokesmen say that the language has become cluttered and over-complicated in recent years, with many new words being added and spellin...
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Funny story: 'Clunge' - Not Really The Rudest Word Ever

'Clunge' - Not Really The Rudest Word Ever

Lexicologists today gathered at the Great Hall Of Lexicology near London's Golden Square, to debate the veracity of the word 'clunge' amid recent claims that 'clunge' is the most obscene description of female genitalia ever coined in the English lang...
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Funny story: Cockneys tell more porkies than Scousers and Taffies

Cockneys tell more porkies than Scousers and Taffies

Cockneys tell more lies than Scousers or Taffies, according to a local survey. The Londoners score an average of seven porkies a day, with Scousers achieving five and the hapless Taffies managing only four little fibs. Both the Cockneys polled...
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Funny story: The meaning of words

The meaning of words

Sometimes I wonder what words mean, or where they came from. Like 'cling film'. It is called 'cling' film because it is clingy and a film, or was it invented by a man called Cling? Or a man called Film? Perhaps both. Perhaps Cling and Film got together and thought "Now there's a good idea" and created cling film. Then there's the straw boater. It's a kind of hat. Very rarely made out of actu...
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Funny story: Oxford Dictionary Boffins Told To Go Back To school

Oxford Dictionary Boffins Told To Go Back To school

Boffins in charge of the English language have been told to go back to school in a row over their choice of Word of the Year for 2011. 'Squeezed middle' was chosen ahead of "Arab spring' and 'phone hacking' for the accolade by Oxford Dictionaries.
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Funny story: Five year study into understanding frogs concludes

Five year study into understanding frogs concludes

Professor Huey Verse has spent the past five years studying the various calls of the Amazonian amphibians in their native habitat in order to discover if these simple creatures have a form of language. "I have been living in a tent being bitten by...
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Showing page 2 (of 14 pages)
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Trump Will Stop Calling Gold Star Parents and Will Just Tweet Them Instead

The message will be the same: "He knew what he was signing" & "Sorry he was an unsuccesful soldier."
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