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Funny satire stories about Hockey

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Funny story: Wings Go Down Hard on Sharks

Wings Go Down Hard on Sharks

Putting up a fine effort, the Detroit Red Wings go down in game one of the Western Conference semi-finals, losing to the San Jose Sharks 4 to 3. The top seeded Sharks expected to take at least one game in their own house, but the win gives them an...
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Funny story: Hockey player unable to find knob

Hockey player unable to find knob

If Canadian junior hockey player Chris Doyle "was charged with being a colossal asshole, prick and dickwad, I would find him guilty," a judge said Friday. "Of assault causing bodily harm, I find him not guilty." The verdict ends Doyle's assault t...
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Funny story: USA Hockey Steals Canada's Coffee and Crullers

USA Hockey Steals Canada's Coffee and Crullers

Enacting their pre-game strategy in advance of the long awaited Olympic hockey match up between Team Canada and Team USA, the young Americans stole team Canada's coffee and donut crullers just prior to the game. The loss of the pre-game "Coffee an...
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Funny story: Fan Proposes at Hockey Game, Ends up with Fractured Jaw

Fan Proposes at Hockey Game, Ends up with Fractured Jaw

The best of the action was in the stands at Madison Square Garden on the weekend. A hopeless romantic had arranged for his marriage proposal to be flashed on the big screen near the scoreboard. His girlfriend, who was sitting next to him in the sta...
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Funny story: The Hockey Mom Christmas Song

The Hockey Mom Christmas Song

Another tribute to hockey moms and dads, ice ponds, flood lights and kids that refuse to come in from the cold until they are forced to. You just have to love this time of year... snow on the pines, crisp air, goofy knitted hats. That, or just move your butt down to Florida and stop complaining. Seriously though... Merry Christmas! Sung to the tune of "The Christmas Song" (Chestnuts r...
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Funny story: Twas Hockey Night Before Christmas

Twas Hockey Night Before Christmas

Offered as a tribute to our Canadian friends, to anyone from a northern U.S. state, any country closer to the North Pole than the Equator, or anyone who sponsored a kid through years of junior hockey. T'was Hockey Night Before Christmas 'Twas Hockey Night before Christmas, when all through the rink Not a sound could be heard, but there still was that stink. Some skates were hung by t...
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Funny story: Canada Dedicates indoor "Miracle" Hockey Rink

Canada Dedicates indoor "Miracle" Hockey Rink

Anaconda, Canada - Canadian Prime Minister John Bluballs was in town today to dedicate the new state of the art 2000 seat Boys Club indoor hockey rink. "It's truly amazing that a small town like Anaconda, on the shore of the Arctic Sea, would raise t...
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Funny story: "Balls, Balls, & Pucks"

"Balls, Balls, & Pucks"

PARAMUS, New Jersey - The bad state of the United States economy is causing many companies and corporations to relocate overseas. Even the world of sports has now been affected. The weekly sports publication 'Balls, Balls, & Pucks' is reporting t...
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Funny story: The real reason why Mats Sundin is hesitant to sign with the Vancouver Canucks - has his eyes on 2010 ice-dance gold medal!

The real reason why Mats Sundin is hesitant to sign with the Vancouver Canucks - has his eyes on 2010 ice-dance gold medal!

VANCOUVER, CANADA: With the prospect of 20 million dollars dangling before his eyes, you would think Mats Sundin would bite - and bite hard. But for some reason, the procrastinating, dithering Swede has driven Vancouver Canucks GM Mike Gillis stir-...
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Funny story: Devils and Peguins Players Arrested

Devils and Peguins Players Arrested

New Jersey State Troopers stopped the game between the New Jersey Devils and the Pittsburgh Devils moments after the game started. The arrest came from the orders of New Jersey Attorney General Anne Milgram in response to New Jersey's new "...
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Funny story: Pronger beheads Duck and Senator; suspended additional game-and-a-half for misconduct

Pronger beheads Duck and Senator; suspended additional game-and-a-half for misconduct

OTTAWA (Citizen Staff Writer) - In a scene straight out of an Al-Qaeda recruiting video, previously suspended Chris Pronger came off the bench to separate two players' heads from their bodies in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
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Funny story: World Reacts Harshly to NHL's Cancellation

World Reacts Harshly to NHL's Cancellation

After intense negotiations between the NHL and the NHL Player's Association broke down, the prospect for hockey in the near future seem dim. The cancellation of the National Hockey League's season has caused ripple effects across the world. Whi...
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Funny story: NHL OWNERS REJECT COMPROMISE, EXPAND LOCKOUT TO PLAYERS' HOMES

NHL OWNERS REJECT COMPROMISE, EXPAND LOCKOUT TO PLAYERS' HOMES

The National Hockey League owners, who have locked out the players since September 15, threatening the first-ever entire cancellation of a professional sports season in North America, have rejected the players' latest compromise offer, and announced...
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Funny story: Hockey Hit-Man Bertuzzi Makes Many Apologies, Says He Didn't Mean It

Hockey Hit-Man Bertuzzi Makes Many Apologies, Says He Didn't Mean It

TORONTO, Canada (FP) -- Todd Bertuzzi, an All-Star NHL forward, publically apologized to Colorado's Steve Moore, the man whose neck he broke with one damaging punch.
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Breaking News...

Alabama's New State Motto

After Tuesday Alabama's state motto, Audemus jura nostra defendere ("We dare defend our rights"), will most likely be changed to Audemus pedophilium nostra defendere ("We dare defend our pedophiles").
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