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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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The Secret England Footballer: The Swedes and Me Looking Like a Turnip

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: The Swedes and Me Looking Like a Turnip

"Lack of egos" in this England team is apparently what people are saying. "Esprit de corps" and lack of egos is exactly right and that's what's wrong with this team. Nobody has the balls to stand up to "Mr. Southgate" and tell him where he's going wr...

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Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Funny story: Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles...

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World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

Funny story: World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

A series of events has plunged the World Cup in Russia into unprecendented chaos. An instruction to referees to punish players for clear serious infringements of the rules with yellow and red cards has resulted in previously overlooked fouls being...

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Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

Funny story: Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...

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Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

Funny story: Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...

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The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

I'm penalty taker. Yes, I bloody am, really. Except for last night that is, thanks to that bastard "Mr. Southgate". I promise you, I am going to stick one on him soon. Look at it this way. There I am a seasoned professional among all these pretty...

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Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Funny story: Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Brazilian footballer Neymar has been wowing the crowds at the World Cup in Russia with some stunning performances, and 2 goals so far, but the fans are not the only people the 26-year-old has been impressing. Executives at the BBC have been meetin...

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Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

Funny story: Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

FA blazers announced today that the 2018-19 Premier League season would be cut short and would end on 29th March 2019 when the United Kingdom leaves the European Union. This is the result of those football fans who voted en masse to leave the Euro...

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The Secret England Footballer: Belgium Gone, Bring on Colombia

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Belgium Gone, Bring on Colombia

Well, I've been basking in the glorious defeat that was the Belgium match, just like the rest of the lads. One thing is spoiling it. No, that's not right...two things are spoiling it...no booze and no birds. I ask you. "Mr. Southgate" still wouldn't...

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Man Stubs Toe As He Tries To Get A Better View

Funny story: Man Stubs Toe As He Tries To Get A Better View

A man in the Cambodian second-city of Battambang was in agony on Saturday evening after he stubbed his toe. The incident happened around 10:13pm as Moys Kenwood watched the World Cup match between France and Argentina. Excited after the second Fre...

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Football-England Loses and Wins at the Same Time

Funny story: Football-England Loses and Wins at the Same Time

In a classic twist similar to the end of the film" Inception", the England team have simultaneously won and lost a match to Belgium. By losing to the pus-filled pimple on the face of the Earth that is Belgium, England have actually won an easier r...

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Hitler Spinning In His Grave

Funny story: Hitler Spinning In His Grave

There was trouble in Germany last night, after the national football team crashed disastrously out of the World Cup, losing 2-0 to South Korea, a result that sent shockwaves throughout the footballing world. Those shockwaves were so powerful, they...

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Reasons behind (the) Messi(ah)'s messy form - Ronaldo makes him blue!

Funny story: Reasons behind (the) Messi(ah)'s messy form - Ronaldo makes him blue!

The world awaits the arising of (the great) Messi(ah), but, sadly, he hangs on the cross around his neck, like Jesus did on his cross, immobilised. But, why? Well, Jaggedone, has sent his star CIA footy reporter (Cockroach Infiltration Army), Fred...

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World Cup 2018: Swaziland Players Investigated for Albino Goal Celebrations

Funny story: World Cup 2018: Swaziland Players Investigated for Albino Goal Celebrations

Swaziland players Shakira and Granit Xhaka face two-match bans for their pro-Albino goal celebrations in their side's World Cup victory over Serbia. Football's world governing body Fifa is investigating whether they broke rules on political and of...

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The Secret England Footballer: Bloody Hell, Panama 6-1

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Bloody Hell, Panama 6-1

Bloody hell I say and I'll say it again BLOODY HELL. A goal fest and where was I? I'll bloody well tell you, I was warming the effin bench again. It's every player's dream to play in a World Cup and as you know Brazil 2014 was a washout for me aft...

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Lucky England Through To Last 16

Funny story: Lucky England Through To Last 16

England progressed to the last 16 of the World Cup last night after they defeated a plucky Panama side 6-1, but it might have been all so different. Harry Kane, England's captain, scored a hat-trick, but it was was probably the most fortunate in h...

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England Trounces Panama after Surprise Goals

Funny story: England Trounces Panama after Surprise Goals

England surged to a 6-1 victory against Panama today in the most surprising and uplifting match so far in the World Cup. Harry Kane was so successful at scoring goals during the match that he actually scored a goal withour realising it and had to...

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England V Panama

A dominant display from England saw them trounce a hapless Panamanian side 6-1. Goals from Stones (2) Kane (3) and Lingard ensured England wrapped up their biggest win at a World Cup without breaking a sweat. Of course after this superb England...

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Breaking news…

Republicans Respond To Trump's Madness....

Today Congressional Republicans responded to all of Donald Trump's outrageous behavior and lies .....................................................................................................not.
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