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Funny satire stories about England football team

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Particular Crimes To Be Ignored By Police During World Cup

Funny story: Particular Crimes To Be Ignored By Police During World Cup

Millions of English football fans are predicted to be brutally attacked in a sexual manner this summer by an elderly owl in a poor physical condition and its players, but the Police Force have already stated that they will not investigate a single fo...

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The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014, Part 5: The Squad

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014, Part 5: The Squad

Yesssssssssss! I'm on my way to Brazil, wohoooo! Good old Roy, he knows a quality player when he sees one, which isn't very often in my case having been on the bench due to my managerial faux pas this season. Now I suppose you'll want to know how...

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The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 4, Denmark "friendly"

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 4, Denmark "friendly"

Bloody Daniel Agger. I wanted to get on that pitch and kick him in the nuts after what he did to our little Jack. I was out of my seat seething and shouting at the bastard. Yes okay, so maybe I was on the bench, but we can't all be in the team and...

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10 Year Old boy releases his 23-man England squad for World Cup

Funny story: 10 Year Old boy releases his 23-man England squad for World Cup

Sammy Caruthers of Guildford announced yesterday his own provisional 23 man England football squad for the World Cup 2014 in Brazil this June. Sammy, who goes to school at St Margarets Church of England primary, said that changes could be made l...

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The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 3 Roy's Scouting Trip

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 3 Roy's Scouting Trip

Did you see it? Did you bloody see it? He looked like he was on holiday in Southend not visiting a building site in Manaus. No style, stupid 99p Store shades, long sleeve shirt, all buttoned up and I bet he was wearing flannels and a vest. I suppo...

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The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 2, Roy's Whinge

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 2, Roy's Whinge

So, "England supremo" Roy Hodgson says playing a World Cup match in Manaus is "not ideal", but he does accept that games must be spread around Brazil. What a moaner, apparently temperatures there reach 30C, while humidity is about 80% so he thinks t...

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Group D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, DEATH!!

Funny story: Group D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, DEATH!!

Costa do Sauipe, BRAZIL: FIFA 2014 WORLD CUP DRAW: Sir Geoff Hurst drew England into Group D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, DEATH!! and officially Greg Dyke, Chairman of the FA, responded by drawing a finger across his throat, to signify Group D, D, D,...

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Sir Alec Fergieson agrees to manage England for 2014 World Cup

Funny story: Sir Alec Fergieson agrees to manage England for 2014 World Cup

Newly retired Sir Alec Fergieson has revealed in his new book he turned down the chance to manage England twice but, if asked for a third time, would definitely accept the job... with conditions. Fergie revealed he turned down the chance to replac...

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Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Funny story: Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Andros Townsend has told Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villas-Boas he would like to go out on loan again before the World Cup Finals in Brazil next summer. Townsend followed his goal scoring debut against Montengro with another solid performance v...

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Roy Hodgson to take stand-up comedy lessons before World Cup Finals

Funny story: Roy Hodgson to take stand-up comedy lessons before World Cup Finals

Following the 'space monkey' gag that backfired at half-time in the vital England v Poland world cup qualifying gig, under pressure gaffer Woy, sorry Roy Hodgson is considering a comedy class to get him match fit for the World Cup in Brazil. The F...

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England win over Scotland is 'actually a defeat' say critics

Funny story: England win over Scotland is 'actually a defeat' say critics

The England football teams controversial 3-2 win over auld enemies Scotchland is to be investigated by the FA and FIFA, after various overpaid journalists, broadcasters and ex-players pointed out that the overpaid over-pampered players of the English...

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Rogers puts all Liverpool transfer rumours to bed

Funny story: Rogers puts all Liverpool transfer rumours to bed

On a hot and humid evening in Jakarta an emergency press conference has been called. Liverpool football club's commander and chief, Brendan Rogers, sit's silently behind a bouquet of awaiting microphones. To the left of Rogers sits club captain S...

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Zlatan Ibrahimovitch could still play for England

Funny story: Zlatan Ibrahimovitch could still play for England

Football Association officials were keeping positive today when they announced that Swedish flavour of the month Zlatan Ibrahimovitch could still qualify to play for England, despite scoring four times against the Three Lions in an international frie...

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Wayne Rooney Suffers Choking Embarrassment

Funny story: Wayne Rooney Suffers Choking Embarrassment

Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney is facing a night in hospital after choking on a dismantled Rubik's Cube at his Cheshire home. Speaking from outside the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA) in Warrington where Rooney is recu...

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Sweden 4 England 2: International Football Round-up

Funny story: Sweden 4 England 2: International Football Round-up

It was a bad night for England fans as their team lost their friendly match in Sweden 4-2, but in other games, there was even more drama starting with the incredible performance in Saudi Arabia of Argentina, who managed to hold The Sheiks, as they ar...

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Stuart Pearce livid at being branded a 'Baboon'

Funny story: Stuart Pearce livid at being branded a 'Baboon'

Sky Sources (Mustard & Ketchup) believe that football officials have confirmed that they will be launching an inquiry into Stuart Pearce's red card and touch-line ban. Pearce reacted to alleged racist abuse from home fans by kicking a football...

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Random Acts of Football (Part 1) Poland v England

Funny story: Random Acts of Football (Part 1) Poland v England

The England v Poland World Cup qualifying match was postponed on Tuesday October 16th after heavy rain. The Stadium, purpose built for the Euro 2012 tournament held in Poland and Ukraine during the summer, has a roof but never used it. The match was rearranged for 4pm the following day, ending in a 1-1 draw. One match at Euro 2012, between co-hosts Ukraine and France, was suspended due to heavy...

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England Football team drop Umbro

Funny story: England Football team drop Umbro

England are to end their long association with Umbro in favor of Umbro's parent company Nike. The move comes in the wake of negative press for Umbro whose recent kits have been seen as rubbish. A spokesman said. "The last couple of kits that Umbro...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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