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Funny satire stories about Easter

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Funny story: Bad Friday - congregation held under

Bad Friday - congregation held under

A service was held under 6 feet of water this morning in Morton-twix-Heron after occultists burst a nearby reservoir in preparation for their own Easter thanksgiving. In their version of events, a frogman in a white shroud emerges from a watery cr...
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Funny story: Good Friday? What's Good About It? Asks Local Misery

Good Friday? What's Good About It? Asks Local Misery

A local misery was today questioning the traditional name for the Friday of the Easter holidays. The day has been named 'Good Friday' since time immemorial and comes after 'Maundy Thursday' and before, simply, Saturday and Easter Sunday and Monday...
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Funny story: Good Friday Pilgrims Flock To Pay Homage To Brian

Good Friday Pilgrims Flock To Pay Homage To Brian

Tunisia: - Millions of Good Friday pilgrims were gathering here in Tunisia today, in order to pay homage to Brian, a fictional, sort of Jesus-like character in the film, 'Monty Python's Life Of Brian.' Pilgrims flooded into the country from such d...
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Funny story: Panic as bookies prepare to pay out for a White Easter

Panic as bookies prepare to pay out for a White Easter

For the first time in living memory, bookies in the south of England are preparing themselves to pay out for a White Easter. "Who knew?" said Falstaff Bier, a bookmaker from Romford. "We've been accepting bets on White Easter's for decades, and ne...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga's New Easter Outfit Provides a Peeps Show

Lady Gaga's New Easter Outfit Provides a Peeps Show

Make no mistake. It's not a "peep" show. Take your mind out of the gutter and see that we're talking about peeps. Y'know those soft marshmallow candies (yellow chickens and pink bunnies are the most popular) that folks either love or love to h...
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Funny story: Jesus Told to Get Off the Cross

Jesus Told to Get Off the Cross

Jesus Christ has been told by the government that he can no longer be crucified at Easter. Equalities minister Lynne Featherstone has instructed lawyers to claim that the cross is not central to Jesus' everyday life. Instead, the lawyers will seek a...
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Funny story: The Dorking Sentinel: The Online Forum Discusses Easter

The Dorking Sentinel: The Online Forum Discusses Easter

A SELECTION FROM THE FORUMS AT dorksent.web dorksent.web-forums>visiting>Dorking>Dorking's Wonderful Attractions NO POSTS IN THIS DISCUSSION please register to post on the forums dorksent.web>living>Dorking>Eastre Com-prattitune! KEPE ARE EASTRE HERITREGE posted 11 Feb 2012: Why do we nott celbrete Eastre like in the oldan day's thises day's? May Wiff an'd I goe s...
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Funny story: Suitable Easter Eggs/Presents for UK Cabinet Ministers

Suitable Easter Eggs/Presents for UK Cabinet Ministers

Right Honourable David Cameron MP (Conservative) Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service. Most Suitable Gift: A Guy Fawkes C4 filled exploding Easter egg. Right Honourable Nick Clegg MP (Liberal Democrat) Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council. (With special responsibility for political and constitutional reform) Most Suitable Gift: A brow...
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Funny story: Easter bunnies lose their eggs?

Easter bunnies lose their eggs?

Venlo, Holland, Easter Monday: Thousands of Dutch kids were left crying and screaming during the Easter period; it seems that Dutch Easter bunnies had all lost their eggs? As the world knows every child in Europe (apart from the UK and the very po...
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Funny story: Easter Bunny Furloughed In Order to Save Money

Easter Bunny Furloughed In Order to Save Money

(Washington D.C.)- The White House announced that the new budget deal would furlough the Easter Bunny this Easter. "There's just not enough money to pay for all the eggs and jelly-beans." stated Speaker of the House, John Boehner. Easter generall...
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Funny story: Complains About Easter.

Complains About Easter.

Easter began as a pagan holiday, and was soon adopted by all. It's the celebration of bunnies and chocolate. Recently the Easter Bunny has voiced complaints, "Jesus is stealing my holiday!". What has this world come to? When the happy story of rabbits hiding chocolate eggs is replaced. Replaced by Jesus dying for our sins. People have been trying to ruin this happy holiday, by speaking of C...
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Funny story: Intoxicated Local Man Runs Over Easter Bunny

Intoxicated Local Man Runs Over Easter Bunny

A nation bows it's collective head today as grim news spread throughout the country. A local man, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation, was taken into custody early Friday morning as numerous reputable eye-witnesses claimed to wi...
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Funny story: Good Friday leads onto Okay Saturday

Good Friday leads onto Okay Saturday

With the success of Good Friday, when shops up and down the nation report trade is booming bigger than Christmas - mainly because they have to shut at Christmas - merchants of England are asking for more days like Good Friday. "Boxing day is quite...
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Funny story: Fears for William's Big Dipper as hit squad of shooting stars circles Windsor Castle

Fears for William's Big Dipper as hit squad of shooting stars circles Windsor Castle

Berks - Astrologers working on Prince William's wedding chart reckon he's ploughing his own succession furrow - as a classic swastika formation of Lyrid meteor shower straddlles Windsor skies this Easter weekend. The annual celestial lightshow occ...
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Funny story: Vatican Denies Good Friday Meat Feast Pizza Orders

Vatican Denies Good Friday Meat Feast Pizza Orders

Vatican officials today angrily refuted an internet rumour that a total of 820 meat feast pizzas, 200 porcetta sandwiches, and 400 portions of suckling pig have been ordered for a Good Friday meat-up in the Vatican Museums. "This is a nasty unfoun...
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Funny story: New Bible code clue says Queen's Last Supper this Wednesday

New Bible code clue says Queen's Last Supper this Wednesday

London - Bible cryptographers have found new evidence pointing to Queen Elizabeth eating her very last Beluga caviar canapé this Wednesday. A passage in the Gospel According to Fluke says she's likely to croak it on the night ahead of her 85th bir...
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Funny story: Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, recently heard that Tesco's have already put out Easter Eggs on their shelves. This 'dastardly deed' was carried out on Boxing Day. Newby residents don't seem to think of this as strange at all as new Mayor of Newby, Arthur Askme, said, "We folk of Newby always like to get an' ed start on thee 'olidays. What's the point o' waiting 'till last minute? Ou...
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Funny story: It's not even New Year's Day - but Tesco is already filling its shelves with Easter eggs.

It's not even New Year's Day - but Tesco is already filling its shelves with Easter eggs.

IT'S not even New Year's Day - but Tesco is already filling its shelves with Easter eggs. Christmas trees are still 'up' in many homes, twinkling lights flash on and off. Wheelie bins full of Christmas Wrappers and turkey bones wait curbside and yet here come the chocolate bunnies. It appears the greedy companies can't wait, even beating the Valentines Day shoppers. Oh no! The Valentine's...
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