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Funny satire stories about Earthquake

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Funny story: Shake, Rattle and Roll

Shake, Rattle and Roll

(STT News) - Sunday's 4.8 magnitude earthquake in Yellowstone National Park has rattled some who worry about the slumbering super-volcano and its potential for a massive eruption. However, at this morning's press briefing at the La Brea Tar Pits Spa...
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Funny story: The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore Calls California News Anchors Wusses For Diving Underneath Their Desks During A Mild Earthquake

The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore Calls California News Anchors Wusses For Diving Underneath Their Desks During A Mild Earthquake

LOS ANGELES - The Weather Channel's pride and joy Meteorologist Jim Cantore was in L.A. doing a story on mudslides when he was asked about the recent earthquakes that have been hitting Tinsel Town. Cantore took a swig from his Hercules VII Protein...
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Funny story: Russian Black Sea Fleet is doomed as NATO seismologists warn of 1927 Crimea quakes repeat

Russian Black Sea Fleet is doomed as NATO seismologists warn of 1927 Crimea quakes repeat

Black Sea - Fifty billion dollarsworth of Russian naval hardware is a sitting duck in the Black Sea waters off Crimea NATO seismologists warned today as the region readied for the start of the 2014 earthquake season. A repeat performance of the t...
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Funny story: Giant sinkhole under Bristol Channel sparks 4.1 magnitude quake

Giant sinkhole under Bristol Channel sparks 4.1 magnitude quake

Bristol, UK - The major inlet, also known as the Severn Sea, was designed to separate the UK mainland from hordes of marauding Welsh by harnessing the power of the Severn Bore, a large surge wave in the estuary of the local river. This afternoon t...
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Funny story: Killer Bees Invade Los Angeles

Killer Bees Invade Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES - Reports coming out of Los Angeles are that a group of African Killer Bees have invaded the city. A spokesperson for the city Hugo Tippertock stated that the AKB's came in from Arizona and they have started to fight with the European...
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Funny story: New Bedford, Massachusetts Rocked By An Earthquake

New Bedford, Massachusetts Rocked By An Earthquake

NEW BEDFORD, Massachusetts - The city of New Bedford was struck by an earthquake at 5:46:13 on Tuesday morning. Residents reported what sounded like a freight train, a squadron of F-15 fighter jets, and Kirstie Alley running combined. One resid...
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Funny story: New Madrid Fault Could Cut U.S. Into Two Countries West & East!

New Madrid Fault Could Cut U.S. Into Two Countries West & East!

If the New Madrid fault caused another earthquake as it did a couple hundred years ago, it could cut the United States into two regions. "I know it sounds weird but that is what nearly happened two hundred years ago and it's overdue for it to happ...
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Funny story: 2.8 Earthquake in Illinois Was Kim Kardashian Twerking

2.8 Earthquake in Illinois Was Kim Kardashian Twerking

The reported earthquake in Illinois Sunday has been traced back to the rear end of Kim Kardashian who was practicing her twerking while on a visit with a friend in Metropolis. "Once she got that thing shaking, it was like it had a life of it's own...
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Funny story: Soon Drones Will Be First Responders in Many Emergencies

Soon Drones Will Be First Responders in Many Emergencies

The first thing that will happen after a terrorist bombing, tornado, earthquake, bank hold-up will soon be a drone. Plans now being drawn up by emergency responders like police, firemen, even soldiers will be a drone or team of drones to check out...
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Funny story: Welsh earthquake rocks Charles succession scam

Welsh earthquake rocks Charles succession scam

Wales - In a new twist on that old chestnut of 'Did The Earth Move For You, Darlin'?' an ominous 3.8 magnitude tremor in North Wales' Llyin' Penisula has rocked the Pretender's gargantuan aspirations to the throne. "Something - or someone - has f+...
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Funny story: Earthquakes Have Joined Hurricane Status

Earthquakes Have Joined Hurricane Status

BOSTON - The United States Meteorological Society has just made an announcement that many felt would be coming sooner or later. USMS Spokesperson Yardley "Twister" Twistafelli stated to the news media that effective immediately earthquakes like hu...
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Funny story: Carbon Beach billionaires braced for Wednesday's seismic Full Moon

Carbon Beach billionaires braced for Wednesday's seismic Full Moon

Malibu, Ca - Multi-million dollar seafront mansions owned by Larry Ellison, David Geffen, Paul Allen and assorted small-time Russian money launderers on Malibu's famous Carbon Beach are on full seismic alert ahead of Wednesday's Libra Full Moon. A...
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Funny story: Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

PORTLAND, Maine (ABSNN) - An earthquake that registered 4.0 struck just west of Portland just before 8 p.m. this evening. The Illuminati has taken responsibility for the temblor and "vows to cause an even greater quake should Mitt Romney fail to be...
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Funny story: Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Philippines - The 7.9-magnitude quake off Samar Island struck early this morning just as the Pisces Full Moon was waxing into maximum display. Its aftershocks have rattled Kate and William's Far East holiday plans for yet another taxpayer-funded f...
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Funny story: Leprechauns' gas fracking blamed for Irish quake

Leprechauns' gas fracking blamed for Irish quake

Co Mayo, Eire - Irish Seismological Survey sources said today they've received reports blaming the Wee People's fracking activities for yesterday's 4-magnitude rattler. The tremor struck some 23km south-south-east off the Corrib Gas Field operated...
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Funny story: Solar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake

Solar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake

Bologna - The first of the eclipsed Gemini new moon tremors has flattened much of a Northern Italian town 35km north of Bologna. The 6-magnitude quake struck this morning in the Emilia Romagna district notorious for attracting spent lunar forces.
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Funny story: Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Indonesia - Two huge shocks that rattled the quake-torn province of Aceh, Indonesia this morning may have dislodged vast sub-oceanic reserves of trapped natural gas off the coast of Western Australia according to reports. The Carnarvon Basin gas f...
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Funny story: Good Friday's full moon and the seismology of karma

Good Friday's full moon and the seismology of karma

London - It's 14 years since the dodgiest of dodgy Piss Process treaties was signed under a waxing fool moon by Hellfire fantasist Tony B Liar. Today Government confidence in the 1998 Good Friday Agreement small print suffered a setback as mobile...
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Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Bill O'Reilly to Form Club

It'll be a branch of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.
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