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Pope Francis Says That The Hundreds of California Earthquakes Are A Warning To Get The Hell Out Of Dodge

Funny story: Pope Francis Says That The Hundreds of California Earthquakes Are A Warning To Get The Hell Out Of Dodge

VATICAN CITY, Italy - Pope Francis met with Italian President Pasquale Pasta in the Bingo Convention Center at the Vatican. The two talked about wine, women, work, and the recent Fettuccine Alfredo Scandal that has rocked Italy to its very core.

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Earthquake Experts Fear The La Brea Tar Pits Could End Up In Arizona

Funny story: Earthquake Experts Fear The La Brea Tar Pits Could End Up In Arizona

LOS ANGELES - Weather experts on the West Coast have been working pretty much 24/7 as earthquakes have been hitting California at an alarming rate. One elderly resident of El Segundo, Fionna F. Rushriddle, 86, told news reporters that one of the q...

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Shake, Rattle and Roll

Funny story: Shake, Rattle and Roll

(STT News) - Sunday's 4.8 magnitude earthquake in Yellowstone National Park has rattled some who worry about the slumbering super-volcano and its potential for a massive eruption. However, at this morning's press briefing at the La Brea Tar Pits Spa...

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The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore Calls California News Anchors Wusses For Diving Underneath Their Desks During A Mild Earthquake

Funny story: The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore Calls California News Anchors Wusses For Diving Underneath Their Desks During A Mild Earthquake

LOS ANGELES - The Weather Channel's pride and joy Meteorologist Jim Cantore was in L.A. doing a story on mudslides when he was asked about the recent earthquakes that have been hitting Tinsel Town. Cantore took a swig from his Hercules VII Protein...

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Russian Black Sea Fleet is doomed as NATO seismologists warn of 1927 Crimea quakes repeat

Funny story: Russian Black Sea Fleet is doomed as NATO seismologists warn of 1927 Crimea quakes repeat

Black Sea - Fifty billion dollarsworth of Russian naval hardware is a sitting duck in the Black Sea waters off Crimea NATO seismologists warned today as the region readied for the start of the 2014 earthquake season. A repeat performance of the t...

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Giant sinkhole under Bristol Channel sparks 4.1 magnitude quake

Funny story: Giant sinkhole under Bristol Channel sparks 4.1 magnitude quake

Bristol, UK - The major inlet, also known as the Severn Sea, was designed to separate the UK mainland from hordes of marauding Welsh by harnessing the power of the Severn Bore, a large surge wave in the estuary of the local river. This afternoon t...

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Killer Bees Invade Los Angeles

Funny story: Killer Bees Invade Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES - Reports coming out of Los Angeles are that a group of African Killer Bees have invaded the city. A spokesperson for the city Hugo Tippertock stated that the AKB's came in from Arizona and they have started to fight with the European...

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New Bedford, Massachusetts Rocked By An Earthquake

Funny story: New Bedford, Massachusetts Rocked By An Earthquake

NEW BEDFORD, Massachusetts - The city of New Bedford was struck by an earthquake at 5:46:13 on Tuesday morning. Residents reported what sounded like a freight train, a squadron of F-15 fighter jets, and Kirstie Alley running combined. One resid...

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New Madrid Fault Could Cut U.S. Into Two Countries West & East!

Funny story: New Madrid Fault Could Cut U.S. Into Two Countries West & East!

If the New Madrid fault caused another earthquake as it did a couple hundred years ago, it could cut the United States into two regions. "I know it sounds weird but that is what nearly happened two hundred years ago and it's overdue for it to happ...

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2.8 Earthquake in Illinois Was Kim Kardashian Twerking

Funny story: 2.8 Earthquake in Illinois Was Kim Kardashian Twerking

The reported earthquake in Illinois Sunday has been traced back to the rear end of Kim Kardashian who was practicing her twerking while on a visit with a friend in Metropolis. "Once she got that thing shaking, it was like it had a life of it's own...

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Soon Drones Will Be First Responders in Many Emergencies

Funny story: Soon Drones Will Be First Responders in Many Emergencies

The first thing that will happen after a terrorist bombing, tornado, earthquake, bank hold-up will soon be a drone. Plans now being drawn up by emergency responders like police, firemen, even soldiers will be a drone or team of drones to check out...

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Welsh earthquake rocks Charles succession scam

Funny story: Welsh earthquake rocks Charles succession scam

Wales - In a new twist on that old chestnut of 'Did The Earth Move For You, Darlin'?' an ominous 3.8 magnitude tremor in North Wales' Llyin' Penisula has rocked the Pretender's gargantuan aspirations to the throne. "Something - or someone - has f+...

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Earthquakes Have Joined Hurricane Status

Funny story: Earthquakes Have Joined Hurricane Status

BOSTON - The United States Meteorological Society has just made an announcement that many felt would be coming sooner or later. USMS Spokesperson Yardley "Twister" Twistafelli stated to the news media that effective immediately earthquakes like hu...

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Carbon Beach billionaires braced for Wednesday's seismic Full Moon

Funny story: Carbon Beach billionaires braced for Wednesday's seismic Full Moon

Malibu, Ca - Multi-million dollar seafront mansions owned by Larry Ellison, David Geffen, Paul Allen and assorted small-time Russian money launderers on Malibu's famous Carbon Beach are on full seismic alert ahead of Wednesday's Libra Full Moon. A...

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Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

Funny story: Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

PORTLAND, Maine (ABSNN) - An earthquake that registered 4.0 struck just west of Portland just before 8 p.m. this evening. The Illuminati has taken responsibility for the temblor and "vows to cause an even greater quake should Mitt Romney fail to be...

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Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Funny story: Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Philippines - The 7.9-magnitude quake off Samar Island struck early this morning just as the Pisces Full Moon was waxing into maximum display. Its aftershocks have rattled Kate and William's Far East holiday plans for yet another taxpayer-funded f...

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Leprechauns' gas fracking blamed for Irish quake

Funny story: Leprechauns' gas fracking blamed for Irish quake

Co Mayo, Eire - Irish Seismological Survey sources said today they've received reports blaming the Wee People's fracking activities for yesterday's 4-magnitude rattler. The tremor struck some 23km south-south-east off the Corrib Gas Field operated...

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Solar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake

Funny story: Solar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake

Bologna - The first of the eclipsed Gemini new moon tremors has flattened much of a Northern Italian town 35km north of Bologna. The 6-magnitude quake struck this morning in the Emilia Romagna district notorious for attracting spent lunar forces.

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