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Funny story: EPA "Skinning the Cat" of American Business

EPA "Skinning the Cat" of American Business

WASHINGTON DC - Some people were suspicious when the EPA was allowed to declare Carbon Dioxide as being equally toxic as Cyanide, Mercury, and the pesticide DDT. More people became suspicious when Secretary of the Interior Department Ken Salazar was allowed to falsely represent the findings of seven scientists and engineers as cover for authority to close all US oil production in the Gulf. Aft...
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Funny story: EPA to Investigate Chicago Water System

EPA to Investigate Chicago Water System

Chicago IL: EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson met with Mayor Richard Daley to discuss a planned investigation of Chicago water quality. The EPA feels that Chicago water may be somewhat responsible for the gangsters and politicians that have emerged in t...
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Funny story: FDA Finds E. Coli in EPA

FDA Finds E. Coli in EPA

WASHINGTON DC - After the EPA agreed to consider banning lead bullets, the FDA completed their investigation of EPA. The findings of the FDA investigation cited evidence of E. coli present in the mountain of SH*T that the EPA considers to be in th...
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Funny story: EPA Modifies Beer Ban Following Public Outcry

EPA Modifies Beer Ban Following Public Outcry

THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY (EPA) said today that it will modify its complete ban on beer that was formally proposed on Monday. The EPA now says that beer will only be banned at "outdoor events, where deadly CO2 gases would be released direc...
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Funny story: EPA To Outlaw Beer - Will Run Super Bowl Ad To Explain C02 Threat

EPA To Outlaw Beer - Will Run Super Bowl Ad To Explain C02 Threat

Having recently declared that carbon dioxide poses a threat to human health and welfare, the Environmental Protection Agency took its first regulatory action today to limit CO2 emissions by outlawing carbonated beer. "We understand that this may not...
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Funny story: EPA to Focus on Climate Destruction by Elderly

EPA to Focus on Climate Destruction by Elderly

WASHINGTON, DC - "The science behind the cataclysmic threat of CO2 has been settled. The elderly have contributed more greenhouse gases to the planet than any other group. Ordinary citizens know the dangers when old people and beans, and cabbage, and...
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Funny story: Tennessee Valley Authority's "Christmas Sludge" Poorly Received

Tennessee Valley Authority's "Christmas Sludge" Poorly Received

KNOXVILLE, TN - Christmas came early this year to Tennessee residents living near a coal-fired power plant outside Knoxville, who found a little something extra under their trees: Five hundred million gallons of sludge laden with arsenic, mercury an...
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Funny story: Study Links Global Warming to Right-wing Media Hot Air Emissions

Study Links Global Warming to Right-wing Media Hot Air Emissions

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Earlier this week, the Environmental Protection Agency released the highly anticipated results of a year-long study, confirming a long suspected link between right-wing media blowhards and current global warming trends. Though th...
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Funny story: EPA to Require Fart Monitors on Every American

EPA to Require Fart Monitors on Every American

It began as just a bad idea. Someone at the EPA heard that the government wanted to lower the amounts of methane and other green-house gases to help stop global warming, which according to President Bush doesn't even exist. And so, they decided tha...
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Funny story: EPA Shuts Down FDA

EPA Shuts Down FDA

TOXIC BOG, New Jersey - In a stunning development today, the EPA obtained an injunction from the Supreme Court shuttering the FDA, a prominent part of the United States Government. Dazed FDA officials wandered about the streets, looking for a gove...
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Funny story: EPA Condemns Jeremiah Wright

EPA Condemns Jeremiah Wright

Where is Rev. Jeremiah Wright? After a three day aggressive press junket to disparage Obama, he has apparently slipped into oblivion since becoming persona non grata in the Obama camp for maligning his protégé, Barack Obama, this past weekend.
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Funny story: EPA Fines God For Polluting

EPA Fines God For Polluting

(Sacramento) - The 15 major wildfires throughout Southern California, which have burned hundreds of square miles and polluted the skies with thick black smoke, have been ruled Acts of God. As a result of the ruling, the California Environmental Prote...
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Funny story: Bush to Allow Drilling in Alaska; EPA Mum

Bush to Allow Drilling in Alaska; EPA Mum

Washington, DC--- El Prez Bush today announced he will allow unassailed drilling all across Alaska, in order to tap believed huge reserves of oil.
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Funny story: EPA Denies Increase of Lead in Nation's Water Supply

EPA Denies Increase of Lead in Nation's Water Supply

The EPA denied claims this morning that it had found a positive link between increased lead levels in the nations' water supply and the many acute cases of memory lapse being reported across the country.
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Breaking News...

Trump Will Stop Calling Gold Star Parents and Will Just Tweet Them Instead

The message will be the same: "He knew what he was signing" & "Sorry he was an unsuccesful soldier."
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