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Funny satire stories about Cristiano Ronaldo

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Funny story: Ronaldo fails the "AXE" test!

Ronaldo fails the "AXE" test!

Real Madrid and Man United's ex super-star was observed at a tennis match in Madrid with his scorching, red-hot Russian girlfriend and she obviously turned him on so much he failed the "AXE" test. Photos of Ronaldo looking like he'd just finished...
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Funny story: Ronaldo Better Than Messi - So Says Mourinho

Ronaldo Better Than Messi - So Says Mourinho

Despite his side going out of the Champions League semi final at the hands of a Lionel Messi inspired Barelona side, Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho declared his temperamental forward Christiano Ronaldo to be "the complete 21st century player and s...
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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo Magnanimous In Defeat

Cristiano Ronaldo Magnanimous In Defeat

Following Real Madrid's elimination from the Champions League at the hands of bitter rivals Barcelona, following a 0-2 in the Bernabeu and a 1-1 second leg at the Nou Camp, Real's Cristiano Ronaldo left sports reporters purring in a post match press...
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Funny story: Condom Manufacturers pledge support to Belusconi's bid for Christiano Ronaldo!

Condom Manufacturers pledge support to Belusconi's bid for Christiano Ronaldo!

AC Milan president Silvio Berlusconi's bid to sign Christiano Ronaldo has been handed a major boost by local condom manufacturers and distributors. Berlusconi last week said that he was determined to bring the Real Madrid ace to San Siro to add q...
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Funny story: The Very Well-Endowed (Bosomy) Irina Shayk Graces The Cover of The 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

The Very Well-Endowed (Bosomy) Irina Shayk Graces The Cover of The 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

NEW YORK CITY - One of the most beautiful women to ever come out of Russia is Irina Shayk and she is this years 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl. Irina Shayk, a 25-year-old stunningly attractive model from Yemanzhelinsk, Russia be...
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Funny story: Rooney To Join Ronaldo At Real?

Rooney To Join Ronaldo At Real?

Despite continued denials from Manchester United officials to the contrary, the smart money down Sir Matt Busby Way seems to be on baldy Scouse striker Wayne Rooney departing to Real Madrid in the January transfer window. Insiders say that Sir Ale...
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Funny story: Irina Shayk in diaper changing ultimatum

Irina Shayk in diaper changing ultimatum

Florida - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): It's every stunning twentysomething supermodel's ultimate nightmare: changing your lover's brat's diapers without gagging. And this week it's Snorts Illustrated Swimsuits pin-up cracker Irina Shayk's turn to re...
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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo BabyMomma wants her son back!

Cristiano Ronaldo BabyMomma wants her son back!

Miami, Florida - (Reuterus): Hyper-lactating American-Sicilian burger waitress Silviana Ponzi's surrogacy deal has gone sour. The dusky 21 year-old is reportedly suing for the immediate return of her baby by Portuguese football captain Cristiano...
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Funny story: Kim Kardishian on why she's dating Cristiano Ronaldo

Kim Kardishian on why she's dating Cristiano Ronaldo

Los Angeles California- Although she tried to play coy and claim she is single, Kim Kardishian admitted to Dr.Phil she might have found a new beau. "Does he make you happy Kim", the ever so curious doctor questioned. "Yes very much so. I love h...
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Funny story: Kaka, Messi glee at Cristiano Ronaldo paternity claim

Kaka, Messi glee at Cristiano Ronaldo paternity claim

South Africa - (Reuterus & Gonads): It's turning out to be a right messy business. Last week's paternity announcement by Portuguese football captain Cristiano Ronaldo has left fellow internationals in stitches. Ricardo 'Kaka' Izecson dos Sa...
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Funny story: Victoria to Sell Beckham's Sperm

Victoria to Sell Beckham's Sperm

As news breaks this morning that Cristiano Ronaldo is selling his sperm online, Victoria Beckham has issued a statement that she will be offering David Beckham's sperm for sale shortly. 'David's sperm is not currently available, we are presently w...
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Funny story: Ronaldo Sells Sperm in online auction

Ronaldo Sells Sperm in online auction

The Flea-bay online auction site is currently inviting bids on sperm, apparently donated by the Real Madrid and Portugal foot-balling super-star, Cristiano Ronaldo. In an interesting move, seen by some as a direct response to a recent report, that...
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Funny story: Manchester City Sign Cristiano Ronaldo's Baby For £120 Million

Manchester City Sign Cristiano Ronaldo's Baby For £120 Million

Ever determined to pip their illustrious neighbours at the post, the 'noisy neighbours' of Manchester City announced last night that Cristiano Ronaldo's baby has been signed up. For £120 million. Oh, we already said that, did we? City fought of...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle donated egg for Cristiano Ronaldo Jr surrogacy!

Susan Boyle donated egg for Cristiano Ronaldo Jr surrogacy!

London - (Reuterus & Sunny Side Up News): The ID of the mystery woman behind little Cristiano Ronaldo Jr's conception has been revealed. Global crooning sensation Susan Boyle apparently had one of her last remaining double yolkers eggstracted...
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Funny story: Some kinda Michael Jackson/Debbie Rowe arrangement in Cristiano Ronaldo baby son custody?

Some kinda Michael Jackson/Debbie Rowe arrangement in Cristiano Ronaldo baby son custody?

Portugal - (Reuterus & Kaka Mess): Was the Portuguese football captain's baby son bred to order? An announcement on social nitworking site Twatter! claims Ronaldo Jr, aged three weeks, is coming to live with Pop in Portugal. And that his...
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Funny story: Messi, Rooney, Ronaldo and Kaka were all abducted by Aliens!

Messi, Rooney, Ronaldo and Kaka were all abducted by Aliens!

One of the world's greatest mysteries has been unravelled and the reasons why the world's most fab footy stars did not appear at the World Cup has become clear: They were all abducted by a low-flying, passing Alien UFO. After stepping out for a...
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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo - Impotent

Cristiano Ronaldo - Impotent

Like his former Manchester United team-mate, Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo bowed out of the World Cup without making much of an impression. There had been high hopes for the Iberian clash between Spain and Portugal, and to some extent, the game...
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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo: "I'm better than Messi"

Cristiano Ronaldo: "I'm better than Messi"

Real Madrid and Portugese winger Cristiano Ronaldo insists 'Lionel Messi is the most overrated player ever to grace a football pitch.' The Portugese superstar believes he is better, and has apparent hard evidence to back this up. "Just take a l...
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