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Funny satire stories about Cigarettes

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Devil to be investigated by Trading Standards after "shafting" customers out of their souls

Funny story: Devil to be investigated by Trading Standards after "shafting" customers out of their souls

News filtered in last night that The Devil is set to be investigated by a team of professionals from Trading Standards after accusations that he has been offering poor deals to people wishing to sell their souls. In the past The Devil has been kno...

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'Queen back on 60-a-day' as SNP vows to dump tarnished Windsor brand

Funny story: 'Queen back on 60-a-day' as SNP vows to dump tarnished Windsor brand

Sandringham - The Palace has denied it's roll-ups that she's smoking as a new consignment of duty free Superkings arrived at the Norfolk mansion today. They are blaming her distaff side little bastard Alex Salmond for stoking the fires of republic...

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John Terry's face being used on Indian cigarette packets

Funny story: John Terry's face being used on Indian cigarette packets

Representatives of John Terry are taking legal advice after an image resembling the footballer appeared on cigarette packs in India. The photograph of a blurred head and pale torso appears above the words SMOKING CIGARETTES CAN LEAD TO BEING CAPTA...

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Mancini begs Balotelli to quit his five-a-day smoking habit

Funny story: Mancini begs Balotelli to quit his five-a-day smoking habit

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has revealed that controversial striker Mario Balotelli is refusing to give up a smoking habit thought to involve up to two packets of cigarettes a week. "I am against smoking - I urged him to give up but I...

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The Reason Why The Miley Cyrus Music Video "Move Like Marley" Went Up In Smoke

Funny story: The Reason Why The Miley Cyrus Music Video "Move Like Marley" Went Up In Smoke

HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus recently turned 19, and she now feels that she should have a lot more control in things relating to her music career. But according to a story reported by the El Lay Informer that is just not the case. Gibraltar Yukon wi...

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Man arrested over teenager's tab death

Smokers have been warned about increasing levels of violence involving cigarette stubs. In a nicotine-related attack, a 17-year-old youth died in unexpected circumstances. A post-mortem revealed John Fagg had been strangled by a string of tab ends...

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Beer To Drop To A Pound A Pint, Cigarettes To 50p A Packet

Funny story: Beer To Drop To A Pound A Pint, Cigarettes To 50p A Packet

In a revolutionary initiative driven by breweries, the government, and a delegation from the FTSE's Top 100, beer prices will be reduced to a pound a pint in time for Christmas, with cigarette prices plunging to fifty pence a packet, and the lifting...

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Herman Cain Talks About His Latest Campaign Ad Which Shows His Chief-of-Staff Smoking

Funny story: Herman Cain Talks About His Latest Campaign Ad Which Shows His Chief-of-Staff Smoking

WINSTON-SALEM, North Carolina - Herman Cain brought his campaign bus tour deep into "Tobacco Territory." And GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle said that it was a brilliant move by the Republican presidential front runner or as Michele Bachmann re...

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Iceland's Volcano is Proof of God Just Having a Smoke before Armageddon

Funny story: Iceland's Volcano is Proof of God Just Having a Smoke before Armageddon

Following the disappointing Misjudgment Day and associated backlash by followers who had offered their life savings to the cause, Reverend Camping, leader of the May 21st prediction fiasco, now says that the Iceland volcano eruption is proof that God...

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Good News: President Obama Has Quit Smoking - Bad News: He's Taken Up Chewing Tobacco

Funny story: Good News: President Obama Has Quit Smoking - Bad News: He's Taken Up Chewing Tobacco

WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has told the White House Press Corps that President Obama, after months and months of trying has finally kicked the cigarette habit. The members of the media erupted in a thunderous applaus...

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Barack Obama has quit smoking 'but still fancies the odd fag'

Funny story: Barack Obama has quit smoking 'but still fancies the odd fag'

Washington AC/DC - (Smoke N Mirrors): It's been almost a year, Mrs Obama told reporters, since her husband's last affair with the dreaded weed. "Of course, I haven't really poked and prodded him on this," the First Lady admitted in reply to questi...

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Man Nearly Drowns After Chain Smoking Water Vapor Cigarette Substitute

Funny story: Man Nearly Drowns After Chain Smoking Water Vapor Cigarette Substitute

An Arkansas man is in stable condition at Our Lady of Perpetual Mercy Hospital after suffering a near drowning incident at his home in Hog Jaw. Slim Pickums, Vice Commander of the Hog Jaw Knights of Columbus was rushed to OLPM late Wednesday night af...

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Police request cigarette smoke colour change for wintry conditions

Funny story: Police request cigarette smoke colour change for wintry conditions

Smoking Police Officers experiencing breathlessness in wintry conditions through excessive exhaling due to their inability to distinguish between the smoke they are blowing out and natural water vapour created by the cold, have asked for smoke to be...

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UN Endorses Gruesome Cigarette Packaging

Funny story: UN Endorses Gruesome Cigarette Packaging

NEW YORK - The UN today formally endorsed a plan by the US Congress to incorporate disgusting imagery on cigarette packages. The plan, which is backed by the organization, Mothers Against Damned Near Everything Society Savors (MADNESS) but vehemently...

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The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

Funny story: The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

Old Trafford, Manchester: £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza who has not been loyal to his wife, understandably is not loyal to his football club and now wants a move from Manchester United and Chewing Gum Fergie. In what has been classic Chewing Gum Ferg...

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Cigarettes to be put on prescription

Funny story: Cigarettes to be put on prescription

At the recent Conservative party conference it was announced by Prime Minister, David Cameron, that it would be a "jolly wheeze" to make cigarettes available on prescription. Many of his fellow party members asked him to "packet in". In what is sa...

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Fags and Booze

Funny story: Fags and Booze

Fags and booze were best of mates, back in the good old days. When pubs were thick with thick blokes and a thicker smoky haze. Smoking indoors and having a drink is what it was all about. Have a smoke, have a pint, by the way, I think it's now your shout. But fags have now been relegated, just like a losing football team, they stand outside, looking through the glass while booze st...

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New $1.6-Billion Infrared Survey Telescope Goes Up In Smoke

Funny story: New $1.6-Billion Infrared Survey Telescope Goes Up In Smoke

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Astronomer Joe Camelopardalis says he'd travel a light year for a Cancer stick, and one of these days, it will probably be cheaper to do exactly that. Nicotine junkies across the nation are hoping the Obama administration aband...

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Fake Friend

Surprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.
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