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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

Funny story: Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

President Elect Donald Trump took a break from tweeting insults to finish his Christmas wish list. According to an unnamed White House source Mr. Trump's top item on his Christmas wish list was a giant wall. Supposedly the list began with "Item numb...

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Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

Funny story: Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

North Pole, Arctic - Rudolph is not apologizing for his recent weekend Twitter rampage, stating that he will not be forced to drop presents off in Aleppo, Syria. Sighting claims that it is far too dangerous to go anywhere near the bombed-out city...

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Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Funny story: Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Starbucks unveiled its line of holiday cups today and shocked concerned Christians throughout the world. One odd cup features a portrait of Pontius Pilate. When asked why this was chosen at this particular time of year spokesperson Arnold Pudge sai...

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Trump to Persecute People Who Say "Happy Holidays"

Funny story: Trump to Persecute People Who Say "Happy Holidays"

Trump transition team member Corey Lewandowski derailed a decent conversation on Hannity by making a strangely worded announcement about Christmas. During the Tuesday interview, Lewandowski tried to steer the conversation away from legitimate crit...

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Santa Struggles To Deliver Enough Coal To Trump Towers On Christmas Eve

Funny story: Santa Struggles To Deliver Enough Coal To Trump Towers On Christmas Eve

An inside source in Santa's workshop, namely Mrs. Claus, has revealed that Jolly Saint Nick will have the unenviable task of delivering tons of coal to Trump Towers this Christmas. Mrs. Claus, or Karma as she like to be called, talked to this repo...

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Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

Funny story: Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

New York, New York - Proving to the world once again that he is, indeed, still alive, crooner Tony Bennett releases the 500th Christmas album in his nauseating yule tide collection. This latest one is called, I'm A Christmas Whore - There, I Said It!...

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Trump Has Big Effect On Christmas Shopping

Funny story: Trump Has Big Effect On Christmas Shopping

Christmas shopping is of course underway and many shoppers are taking into account future Trump Administration policies as they choose gifts. Since Title X family planning programs and repeal of Obamacare, which provides the GOP will probably effe...

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Posthoorn Interview no. 5: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Nexit prepper"?

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. The reporter of the world famous weekly newspaper The Posthoorn (chosen by 75% of their readers as their favourite alternative cat litter) passes Tom's pub on his way t...

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Turkeys vote for Christmas

Funny story: Turkeys vote for Christmas

In a shock election result, turkeys have voted in favour of Christmas for the first time since they gained the right to hold elections in 1845. In every year since then, turkeys have voted firmly against the Yuletide feast. However, this year a popul...

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NORAD's Ability To Track Santa In Doubt

Funny story: NORAD's Ability To Track Santa In Doubt

As the holiday season approaches, Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reiley will, as usual, warn Americans about the "secular progressive" war on Christmas. O'Reiley, on his program "The O'Reiley Factor, has charged that the secular left wants to ignore...

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Missing cell-tower found in Rockefeller center

Funny story: Missing cell-tower found in Rockefeller center

"I always had four bars and a clear line" said a distraught Patsy Lang standing in front of what was a cell tower that stood on her land for four years until it mysteriously disappeared "now I got no bars and I had to buy me a five-thousand-foot exte...

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Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

Funny story: Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

As Christmas approaches, many will be decorating their homes with more than just trees and lights. For Christians, a common tradition is to put a nativity scene somewhere on display. A nativity scene uses figurines and a stable to depict the story of...

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Cold and Fever Exchange New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight and Gain Weight, Respectively

Funny story: Cold and Fever Exchange New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight and Gain Weight, Respectively

At the start of 2016, long-time cohorts Cold and Fever exchanged solemn New Year's resolutions to lose weight and gain weight, respectively. Cold admitted to having really packed on the pounds in recent decades. He pointed to the oft-touted home r...

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Mumsweb Threatens Distributed Denial of Service Attack on Christmas Lunch Unless Adele is Played During Preparations.

Funny story: Mumsweb Threatens Distributed Denial of Service Attack on Christmas Lunch Unless Adele is Played During Preparations.

Following the news that a hacker group has attacked Xbox Live and threatened the PlayStation Network over the holidays, outspoken activists Mumsweb have issued an ultimatum. Unless British Mums can play Adele at a reasonable volume while the prepara...

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Bono's Christmas Message 2015

Funny story: Bono's Christmas Message 2015

Hello It's Bono. Dis year I have had to deal with those naughty boys from ISIS. Da buggers ran around killing people in Paris in an attempt to stop me singing. But I was able to get back on stage and show dem. Nothing stops Bono. I plan to go to the middle east and take care of dem personally in the new year. This has got personal. You do not try to stop Bono. While I was in Paris I wa...

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Santa Claus detained for flying sleigh while drunk, Christmas cancelled

Santa Claus has been detained after flying his sleigh under the influence, it has been reported. Claus, aged 1,744, from the North Pole, was intercepted by American jets and forced to land at Thule Air Base in the Qaasuitsup region of Northern Gre...

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Airline Pilots Complain that Christmas Laser Light Displays are "Interrupting our beauty naps."

Funny story: Airline Pilots Complain that Christmas Laser Light Displays are "Interrupting our beauty naps."

Complaints by airline pilots concerning the recent Star Shower laser Christmas lights decorations are on the rise. Many of the pilots site the ability of the lights to shine into the cockpit during cruising altitudes, which can be disruptive to thei...

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She Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus...And She Whipped Into Action!

Funny story: She Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus...And She Whipped Into Action!

Six-year-old Nosy Nora, who plans to be a lawyer when she grows up, was shocked to witness the inappropriate display of affection from her perch on the stairs. She grabbed her iPhone and took a photo, so she could preserve the actions of the sneaky d...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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