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Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

Funny story: Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

The following is based on an actual conversation between two 10 year-old Irish kids on the problems posed by the difficult theory of reincarnation. Charles' dad is into Buddhism, Phil's parents are Catholics. They both attend the same school....a Catholic school. Phil: Why do we have to die? Charles: So's we can come back. Phil: Back here? What for? Charles: So that we can become gooder...

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Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI -- Announces International "Bring Back Benny" Campaign

Funny story: Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI -- Announces International "Bring Back Benny" Campaign

London-Former British Prime Minister and converted Catholic Tony Blair called upon the Vatican today to immediately remove "dangerously subversive" Pope Francis I, and reinstate his "politically more realistic" predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI.

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Pope Francis Welcomes Stephen Colbert Back into the Church - 'On Fast Track to Immediate Sainthood,' Says Papal Office

Vatican City-Pope Francis announced today that he would personally receive lapsed Roman Catholic Stephen Colbert back into the Church this Christmas. A special ceremony will be held during midnight mass in St Peter's Cathedral on Christmas Eve. "W...

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Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

Funny story: Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

The Vatican is introducing sweeping reforms to its liturgical practice. Mass, benediction and special services, from now on, will be all-ticket affairs. The "pensio" as the ticket is called can be bought online. Marketing director for the Vatican...

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Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...

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Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Funny story: Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Catholics around the world have been screaming "blasphemy" all day after it was revealed that the Vatican will reboot the Bible next year and write a new "more modern" version if it for release in the summertime. The Vatican made the decision du...

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Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

Funny story: Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

WEST BANK-A number of Dead Sea Squirrels, found in one of the Qumran Caves in a large plateau near the West Bank, have stunned archeologists at the nearby Qumran National Park who are investigating them. The Dead Sea Squirrels, six of them sta...

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Whole lotta twerkin' goin' on!

Funny story: Whole lotta twerkin' goin' on!

BENNINGTON, VT - Students--especially coed students--at Bennington, VT's, Catholic academy, Mount Anthony Union High School, really know how to "get down"--and their principal, Susie Q. Maguire is not happy about her student body's fancy moves. In...

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Catholics put pot into their prayers, over Pope's objections

Funny story: Catholics put pot into their prayers, over Pope's objections

The Vatican - A secret enclave of Catholic bishops and cardinals has added marijuana smoking to the church's menu of Holy Sacraments. The unprecedented action is expected to boost the popularity of Catholicism while replenishing the church's coffers,...

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Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

Funny story: Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...

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Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

Funny story: Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

A fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," unveiled in 2012, shows no evidence of being a modern forgery, as some critics had charged, according to an article published in the Harvard Theological Review. The con...

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Vatican Admits Existence of Nun Special Forces Unit

Funny story: Vatican Admits Existence of Nun Special Forces Unit

VATICAN CITY, ROME - A spokesman for Vatican City finally admitted today that, yes, there is a special forces unit operating under the authority of the Holy See. The possible existence of the ecclesiastical unit came to light when an 84 year-old...

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Vatican Defies UN, Assaults Sex Abuse Report

Funny story: Vatican Defies UN, Assaults Sex Abuse Report

The Vatican is responding to today's much-anticipated report from the U.N. Committee on the Rights of the Child. Church officials testified before the committee a month ago. Today's U.N. report bluntly criticized the Catholic hierarchy for polici...

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Cardinal Baloney Says No To Childless Couples

Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Says No To Childless Couples

There are many couples in the U.S. who have decided not to have children due to the certainty that the offspring would get a horrible disease, passed to it through one of the parents. But due to scientific breakthroughs, disease causing genes my...

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Vatican's In Utero Baptism Initiative "Perfect Way to Get 'em While They're Young"

Funny story: Vatican's In Utero Baptism Initiative "Perfect Way to Get 'em While They're Young"

THE VATICAN - Though Pope Francis' turn at the papal office is still in its infancy, he has already become widely regarded as the most progressive in the Vatican's long history. But while doubters criticize many of his recent viewpoints as being "un-...

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Cardinal Baloney Opposes Relief From Torturous Pain

Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Opposes Relief From Torturous Pain

In a recent Times, there is a front-page story entitled, "Murder Or Mercy?" It is, in part, a story of an ailing World War II veteran who commits suicide. Before his death the 88-year-old man told his son, because of his terminal illness, that...

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Pope Francis's Superficial Christlikeness is Miraculous, Observers Say

Funny story: Pope Francis's Superficial Christlikeness is Miraculous, Observers Say

Dateline: VATICAN-Experts agree that Pope Francis has made a concerted effort to change people's impression of the Catholic Church, by adopting a less ostentatious style of public relations, leading non-Christians and Christians alike to be aston...

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Pope-A-Dope Part 3: At Which Point You Know Who (Just For The Heaven And You Know Where Of It) Does What He Can To Further Prove That 1+2<3

Funny story: Pope-A-Dope Part 3: At Which Point You Know Who (Just For The Heaven And You Know Where Of It) Does What He Can To Further Prove That 1+2<3

VATICAN CITY - And so, to sum things up. "Wait! No…..huh?" Oh yeah. In other words, more or less, recklessly composed for just such an occasion, here's an otherwise additional supply from Pope Francis, as unleashed recently via his first offi...

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Breaking news…

Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group

Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.
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