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Funny story: Irish Astronomers: Vensus will collide with Jupiter Friday, Will it spell the end? American astronomers say 'Poppycock!"

Irish Astronomers: Vensus will collide with Jupiter Friday, Will it spell the end? American astronomers say 'Poppycock!"

DUBLIN (ABSNN) -- Irish astronomers told the press today that the planets Venus and Jupiter will collide at 0327 GMT this coming Friday. The two planets seem only inches away this evening and may be seen in the Western sky said astronomers. "We'r...
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Funny story: Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

PRAGUE-On August 24th, 2006, yet another piece of our embarrassingly fragile childhood was destroyed. At a meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague, a clear majority of astronomers voted for a definition of the term "planet" th...
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Funny story: Brian Cox In More Hot Water As Town Suffers Black-Out Crime Spree

Brian Cox In More Hot Water As Town Suffers Black-Out Crime Spree

TV space egghead Brian Cox is in more trouble today after a small west country town was devastated by a spate of burglaries last night. The crimes were committed during a town-wide black-out, co-ordinated as part of Cox's three-night BBC2 astronom...
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Funny story: Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

TV space boffin Brian Cox has been given a "rocket up the arse" by BBC bosses for urging members of his audience to change channels. Cox was presenting the second episode in BBC2's three-night astronomy spectacular Stargazing Live with Irish comic...
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Funny story: London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London's astronomers are over the moon at the announcement that the London Borough of Ealing has been declared an International Dark-Sky Reserve. 'London is an international centre of excellence for numerous endeavours,' explained Mayor of London,...
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Funny story: Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Following the removal of Pluto's planet status by the International Astronomy Union in 2006, the dead orbiting body has received little respect. That is, until now. Discovered by the Hubbell telescope this past week, Pluto was found to have eviden...
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Funny story: NASA's Curiosity Rover will hunt for ancient Martian space base aperture

NASA's Curiosity Rover will hunt for ancient Martian space base aperture

Pasadena, Ca - Is a secret alien-hunting agenda behind Saturday's launch of NASA's $2.5 billion Mars Science Laboratory? Astrophysicists at the Agency's Jet Convulsion Laboratory have always rubbished claims that the red planet is a hollow structu...
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Funny story: Inflation is rising fast, say economists

Inflation is rising fast, say economists

Economists are turning to cosmologists to keep track of inflation, it is rising that fast. "It's going up so quickly," said Esme Duvet, economist for the London School of Economics Economy Department, "that we've been told that future economists w...
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Funny story: Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...
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Funny story: New-er Moon!

New-er Moon!

Science buffs are getting angry with the amount of contradictory twaddle being peddled from bemused so-called scientists these days. In the space of a few weeks we have been told that our moon was formed by the collision of two smaller moons mirac...
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Funny story: Looming NASA layoffs sparks quasar renaming campaign

Looming NASA layoffs sparks quasar renaming campaign

A massive glob of water 140 trillion times the volume of the earth's oceans was recently discovered 12 billion light years away surrounding a quasar in deep space. The revelation proves water is prevalent throughout the universe, even in its most...
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Funny story: Only 24.5 million royal wedding viewers on extraterrestrial TV

Only 24.5 million royal wedding viewers on extraterrestrial TV

Space - The Beeb's Sky At Fright presenter Sir Patrick Moore has blamed a gigantic storm in Saturn's atmosphere for lousy reception in the Delta Quadrant beyond Uranus. Captured on video by NASA'S Cassini probe the tempestuous swirling vortices ar...
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Funny story: Liverpool v Man Utd Too Massive To Be Seen?

Liverpool v Man Utd Too Massive To Be Seen?

Scientists fear that today's football match between Liverpool and Manchester United will not be seen by anyone. They are concerned that the game is so massive that no light will escape from Anfield - the home of Liverpool. Said a science inside...
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Funny story: Lost Socks Found In Cosmic Anomaly

Lost Socks Found In Cosmic Anomaly

Boffins working with deep space telescopes searching for the origins of the universe have made an unexpected discovery - an eddy in the space-time continuum containing millions of socks! The atronomers believe the discovery solves the ages-old que...
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Funny story: Moon Crashes Into Sun Then Disappears

Moon Crashes Into Sun Then Disappears

Horror in the UK this morning as astronomy call centres were swamped with calls relating that the the moon and the sun had actually collided within a minute of daybreak. There seems to be general agreement that the sun appears to have swallowed the m...
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Funny story: Total Lunar Eclipse passes off without incident...yet

Total Lunar Eclipse passes off without incident...yet

The first Lunar Eclipse for four hundred years to fall on a Winter Solstice has passed off without incident - so far. The last time that a full Lunar Eclipse occurred on a Winter Solstice was 1638. This heralded the start of a war between Scotland...
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Funny story: Massive chunk of Halley's Comet black opal orbiting eclipsed full moon

Massive chunk of Halley's Comet black opal orbiting eclipsed full moon

Area 51, Nevada - (Cool Yule News): NASA HQ sources said today a huge breakaway chunk of black opal from Halley's Comet has been detected orbiting the periphery of the moon. Its emergence comes ahead of the Winter Solstice lunar eclipse on Tuesd...
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Funny story: Astronomers Lose Count Of Stars

Astronomers Lose Count Of Stars

Star-gazing boffins trying to figure out how many stars there are in the sky have lost count. But according to an astronomy insider, they've issued a new estimate to cover up their gaffe. The space experts at Yale University last week said ther...
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Breaking News...

Trump Will Stop Calling Gold Star Parents and Will Just Tweet Them Instead

The message will be the same: "He knew what he was signing" & "Sorry he was an unsuccesful soldier."
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