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Arsenal to make sensational 50-million-pound bid for David Lucas

Funny story: Arsenal to make sensational 50-million-pound bid for David Lucas

Arsene Wenger is said to be keen to dip into his summer transfer war chest to bring experience to the goalkeeping department, after admitting in a recent press conference that his current 1st choice keeper is too inexperienced for the premier league.

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Arsene Wenger spotted with chequebook out

Funny story: Arsene Wenger spotted with chequebook out

The news that we've been waiting all summer for finally happened last night. Not the birth of Royal baby George, or Gareth Bale joining Madrid, but at 8.34pm in the 'Going Loco-local' supermarket on Holloway High St, under fire Arsenal manager Arsene...

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Parliament recalled to deal with Arsenal transfer crisis

Funny story: Parliament recalled to deal with Arsenal transfer crisis

David Cameroon cut short his holiday last night to fly home and deal with the impending Premier League transfer crisis. 'Call Me Dave' and Sam-cam were topping up their tan on their fifteenth mini-break of the year, staying on the recently renamed...

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Liverpool FC: Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word for Suárez

Funny story: Liverpool FC: Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word for Suárez

Liverpool striker Luis Suárez has been placed on the naughty step until he apologizes to Manager Brendan Rodgers for attempting to make his career as a footballer better, more challenging and to accrue more money for himself, by orchestrating a move...

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Arsenal attempt to buy Luis Suarez denied by credit card refusal

Funny story: Arsenal attempt to buy Luis Suarez denied by credit card refusal

Arsenal Football Club were in crisis last night, as the latest attempt to sign a living breathing non-retired footballer before the new EPL season starts were dealt a hammer blow when a credit card transaction to buy Luis Suarez was rejected. A cl...

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'Well it f+++ing well wasn't me, mate!' insists Arsenal FC's Thomas Vermaelen

Funny story: 'Well it f+++ing well wasn't me, mate!' insists Arsenal FC's Thomas Vermaelen

London - "Me neither," said a disgusted Theo Walcott as news of the filthy slur went viral. Within minutes the rebuttal spread to Arsenal goalie Wojciech Szczesny who too rejected the "shi++y bit of crap". Next Lukas Podolski and Jack Wilshere...

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Man City fan snubs £62 Arsenal ticket to feed family for a week

Funny story: Man City fan snubs £62 Arsenal ticket to feed family for a week

A disgruntled Manchester City fan today proudly announced his family will 'eat like royalty for a week' after he decided not to pay the outrageous price of £62 to watch 90 minutes of football at the Emirates Stadium in 'that there London'. Manches...

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Theo Walcott to buy new house 'in the centre of the street'

Funny story: Theo Walcott to buy new house 'in the centre of the street'

As the transfer window reopens on January 1st and the future of Theo Walcott at Arsenal still undecided, the saga took a development today when Theo put his house in Hertfordshire up for sale. Speculation mounted that Walcott was going to live in...

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AVB is CBC (Completely Batshit Crazy)

Funny story: AVB is CBC (Completely Batshit Crazy)

"Can we play you every week" was the chant that echoed around the Emirates stadium at 5pm on Saturday. Unfortunately for Arsenal, but fortunately for Gareth Bale, no Arsenal can't play Tottenham every week. A majestic Arsenal performance was capped o...

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Theo Walcott 'wants hat to store his match-balls'

Funny story: Theo Walcott 'wants hat to store his match-balls'

Theo Walcott and his agent are to meet with Arsenal officials this week to discuss a new contract, and rather than asking for more money, they will demand a brand new hat - for Walcott to place his match-balls in. Walcott scored three times - a ha...

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Capital One Cup to introduce handicap system to make games more exciting

Funny story: Capital One Cup to introduce handicap system to make games more exciting

The Football League will meet today to decide on implementing a new rule to boost interest in the Capital One sponsored League Cup, which has routinely been dismissed by the big Premier League clubs since the introduction of the Champions League grou...

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Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Funny story: Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Emirates Stadium, North London: Last night at the Arsenal AGM (25th Oct 2012), there were feisty discussions on whether a trophy less Arsenal, had the right to charge £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips! Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke who was insi...

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Football Gossip & comments 7th September 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 7th September 2012

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger says he sees a future for Nicklas Bendtner, 24, at the Emirates despite sending the Denmark striker on loan to Juventus after spending a season with Sunderland. (Guardian) The club need a burger bar assistant who speaks Danish. Uruguay were going to play a World Cup qualifier against Colombia in local second division side Solo Junior's away strip until their kit...

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Football Gossip & comments 5th September 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 5th September 2012

Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood admits the Gunners cannot compete in the transfer market with Chelsea and Manchester City. (Evening Standard) They are however very convenient for kebab shops and Screen On The Green cinema in Upper Street. Newcastle will try again to sign winger Tom Ince, 20, from Blackpool in January after having a £4m bid rejected. (Mirror) Rumours that the son of former...

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Transfer Window Belief

The transfer window has slammed shut trapping the fingers of many managers who weren't able to offload the tripe they had signed in previous windows. There was a flurry of activity in the last few moments of the window as Arsenal tried desperately to...

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Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Fulham may have sold Mousa Dembele to Tottenham during the transfer window, but Cottagers fans could soon be singing the player's name again, after one of their academy players - also named Mousa Dembele - scored a hat-trick for the club's U18s against Crystal Palace. (Fulham FC.com) Two Mousa Dembele's, theirs only two Mousa Dembele's, two Mousa Dembele's... Arsenal have not won a trophy fo...

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Sorry Scousers Shot Down In Flames By German Gunner

Funny story: Sorry Scousers Shot Down In Flames By German Gunner

Nothing seemed to go right for Liverpool this afternoon at Anfield, where the once mighty reds huffed and puffed against a fairly lightweight Arsenal team, yet failed to make any real kind of impression. German Gunner, Lukas Podolski fired the Gun...

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Football Gossip & comments 27th August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 27th August 2012

Swansea's excellent start to the season has caught the eye of Barcelona's Cesc Fabregas, who used Twitter to pay tribute to Michael Laudrup's side. (Daily Mirror) Sounds like another ex-Arsenal player wanting to join a club at the top of the table. Celtic have initiated talks with Auxerre over the transfer of Willy Boly as manager Neil Lennon seeks a dominant centre-half. (Mail on Sunday) I...

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