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Funny story: Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Racists Line Up for Presidential Pardon

Charlottesville, VA - As part of a newly announced program, hundreds of racists across the country have lined up in Charlottesville, Virginia to apply for President Trump's presidential pardon. The pardon is granted automatically. To be eligibl...
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Funny story: Trump stuns: Pardons of Arpaio, Bernie & Charles---The art of the pardon!

Trump stuns: Pardons of Arpaio, Bernie & Charles---The art of the pardon!

In a video today President Donald Trump, once again, shocked and dismayed America. In a voice that, at the least, tried to be dramatic. Trump said in a voice eerily similar to Moms Mabley's famous rendition of Abraham, Martin and John that he was par...
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Funny story: Trump Pardons Himself

Trump Pardons Himself

Washington, DC - President Donald Trump recently began to utter the words "Pardon me" with regularity. Although the President blames his chef's spicy food and a busy travel schedule for his continuous desire to be pardoned, sources say he is worri...
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Funny story: Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Abe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon

Abe the Turkey, has rejected the president's yearly tradition of pardoning a turkey every thanksgiving. Reading from a prepared statement, Abe's attorney's Lorenzo De Pavo, explained that his client has no reason to accept a pardon because that woul...
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Funny story: Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

Obama Issues Himself A Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON -- In the wake of the Senate Select Committee Report on CIA torture showing a grisly, reckless brutality, a violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Geneva Accords, President Obama issued himself a pardon for possible illegal activities...
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Funny story: Turkey pardoned by President found dead of an apparent suicide

Turkey pardoned by President found dead of an apparent suicide

Washington, D.C. Mac, one of the Thanksgiving turkeys recently pardoned by President Obama was found dead today of a self-inflicted hatchet wound. A spokesperson for the family of Mac the Turkey, say that he was very depressed after returning fro...
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Funny story: Obama pardons America's fattest and stupidest turkey: Karl Rove of Fox News

Obama pardons America's fattest and stupidest turkey: Karl Rove of Fox News

WASHINTON, DC (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama carried on the tradition of pardoning a turkey this Thanksgiving, but the recipient of the clemency, Karl Rove, was not at all impressed. "We received requests to pardon more than 50,000 turkeys this...
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Funny story: Wrong 'Turkey ' Giving Thanks to White House

Wrong 'Turkey ' Giving Thanks to White House

There has been a mix up in the annual presidential pardoning of a Thanksgiving turkey, as a White House aide unwittingly pardoned Turkey the country instead of an actual turkey. It is, as yet, unclear what exactly Turkey has been pardoned of, but...
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Funny story: Turkey Pardoned by Bush Kills Family in Upper New York State

Turkey Pardoned by Bush Kills Family in Upper New York State

Flower, a turkey pardoned by President Bush in November of 2007, is now accused of murdering a family of 5 in upper New York State. The Norton family of Rowling, New York, were enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon at home when the alleged crime took pla...
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Funny story: Top Ten Reasons Why Bush didn't sign any Presidential Pardons:

Top Ten Reasons Why Bush didn't sign any Presidential Pardons:

10) Bush was confident that history would absolve his actions (and those acting under his authority) that was fully sanctioned by Congress; freely surrendering their Constitutional power to declare war to our nation's Twenty-First Century wartime president. 9) Bush didn't know how to translate the word "Pardon" from Mexican into Texican. 8) Sometime during the "Last Night in the White House...
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Funny story: Bush mixes up Tom Turkey's Presidential pardon with "Scooter" Libby's and vice versa

Bush mixes up Tom Turkey's Presidential pardon with "Scooter" Libby's and vice versa

Washington, D.C. - Immediately before issuing the customary seasonal Presidential pardon to this year's White House turkey in the Rose Garden before a wall of flashing lights of the press pool, Bush just walked out of the West Wing where he issue...
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Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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